Shantelle Bisson is a rare bird.
She is a genuinely-decent soul who was willing to make time to answer five quirky questions from a hack like me. She has an exceptionally-chipper, ridiculously-kind social media presence. By all accounts she’s one of the best moms in the Multiverse. (Her three daughters are as stunning and decent as their progenitor.) And in general, she’s just a nice person. Think about it; how many people can you say that about and really mean it?
I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I do love her but no, I can’t marry her. This guy already did…
To be clear, she married the male not the yam…
But today isn’t about her mammal spouse. (Apparently he plays some turn-of-the-century detective on a CBC show I have a passing familiarity with.) It isn’t about her progeny. (Though credit where it’s due; all her daughters are exceptional human beings.) Today we celebrate the gift from the Heavens – or one of Heaven’s subsidiaries – that is Shantelle Bisson.
Sure, it’s too much, but it’s my blog so shut up. There are literally a million things I could say about today’s
victim guest, but many of them would result in the following consequences:
- I’d get thrashed by a turn-of-the-century detective.
- I’d get thrashed by my wife.
- I’d get thrashed by Shantelle for embarrassing her.
So since I bruise easily, we’re going to merely cover the basics, though truthfully, nothing about Shantelle is basic. She is the original enigma wrapped in a riddle, placed in a box with a question mark on it, encased in a block of query cement and dropped to the bottom of Inquiry Lake. And yes, they have query cement. Let’s move on, shall we?
You’ll find her listed as Chantal Craig on various websites, but she mostly goes by Shantelle, which is actually her given name. She used Chantal while acting (yes, there’s literally nothing this woman isn’t capable of), because “everybody spelled it like that all the time anyway, and it just made my life simpler.” She responds to both monikers, though.
Born on an island inhabited solely by Amazons, she fought hard to win the mantle of champion and left paradise behind to battle tyranny in Man’s World.
Wait, that’s Wonder Woman. What the hell do I know about Shantelle?
She has a great sense of humor (something I admire deeply) and in her own words,
I don’t offend easily, unless, you know, fans send me their favorite photos of my husband in various stages of undress, or their fave videos of him making out with women who aren’t me…and if people go after my kids. Then you get a side of me you don’t want… ha…ha…ha…
Unlike many folk who have reached a certain level of financial success, Shantelle believes in giving back to the world. From her bio:
Shantelle also gives back to her community; she chaired her first solo endeavour supporting Sheena’s Place in March 2012. Co-chaired the Purple Party for Childhood Cancer Canada in November 2013 and November 2014. She supports Camp Ooch through fundraising and visiting with the kids at camp in the summer. She also sits on the Silent/Live Auction board for Bridgepoint Hospital, and was the M.C for their 2014 annual Gala, Fandango.
What else? Oh yeah… she’s a gifted scribe whose first major project is a little tale of a woman on a journey of self-discovery, entitled, Black Picket Fence.
To be honest, we’ve only scratched the surface. I’m man enough to admit it’s going to take a more capable scribe than myself to do justice to Shantelle, so let’s get to her As to my Qs, all right?
ONE) As a good Canadian girl, what’s your favorite Canuck delicacy?
This is real easy!! A real good poutine!!
HOOK’S NOTE: I was certain she was going to go with “grilled Ontario moose”. I’m an idiot.
TWO) It’s a well-established fact that you love you some rock ‘n roll; name a song that always evokes a strong reaction (memory, urge to rock out wherever you are, etc.) from you.
Not fair!! I have soooooo many that make me react in this fashion… but number one has to be Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell”, followed real close by “Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard and that’s followed really, really closely by “Her I Go Again” by Whitesnake!
See, told you I couldn’t pick just one…
THREE) I try to ask my victims, I mean subjects, the questions people really want the answer to; have you ever killed a man? And if so, where did you hide the body?
Thank you for asking me this question. The answer is of course no, but so often while on a road trip or hiking in really remote areas I always mention my fascination with why people (of the murdering variety) get caught to Yannick. There are so many really good places to hide a body, like an abundance of them.
Like right now, as I type this I’m watching miles and miles of the Mojave Desert range slip past my window and I’m thinking,
“Drive in there 15, 20 miles, leave a body and it will be dust before anybody even thinks to check there!”
Now I bet you didn’t expect such an in-depth answer, did you? 😉
No, but now we all now to never, ever, ever piss you off, Shantelle.
FOUR) Writing is a wonderful outlet, but the publishing game can be a nightmare! Why have you entered this arena voluntarily?
Because I am mentally unsound.
You read it here first, folks.
FIVE) What was your worst hotel experience? (As a bellman, I’m fascinated by travelers and their travels.)
Oh! Once I listened to a friend who suggested we book our family trip for our eldest daughter’s 21st online. We found such a charming boutique hotel on the Left Bank; three rooms, breakfast included, great rate. When we arrived we discovered it was sandwiched in-between two shops. The “Check-in Desk” was literally built into the wall and folded up and down to allow the clerk in and out.
Breakfast was was held in “the Lower Level”, fancy name for a musty basement. The elevator would fit one person at a time.
When we arrived to our “suites with courtyard views” as described in great detail and with photos on their site, at the end of the narrow, dim hallway where our three rooms were, we were instead greeted by a flashing lightbulb. It was très creepy. In fact, our eldest said,
“Doesn’t seem like we’re going to make it out of here alive…”
We figured we were just being snobs, so we pressed on, unlocking the “Master Suite” is when it became obvious that this place wasn’t for us, never mind the “price break and the free breakfast”!
The headboard was resting against the mattress rather than the wall.
The “courtyard view” was in fact staring into dumpsters that serviced all the stores and hotel.
We left our luggage in that room and even though we had flown all night we walked Paris for the better part of four hours looking for another hotel that could accommodate a family of five.
On Valentines Day.
Thank God Yannick’s first language is French, otherwise we might have had to take our lives in our hands by staying at the little non-hotel hotel!
And on that fun – and a little scary – note, we’re done, friends. Many thanks to today’s guest, the lovely and thick-skinned, Shantelle Bisson.
See you in the lobby…