Anyone with even a passing familiarity with my “work” will agree that, while I’m wearing a bellman’s uniform at least, I’m a pretty outspoken guy.
To say the least.
Well, trust me, the best/worst is yet to come.
In fact, just the other day I set a new benchmark for myself in smartassery. I was delivering luggage to a nice older couple (they said Jesus was a nice young man – for a hippie) who were not impressed with the room.
To say the least.
You see, several months ago Upper Management decided to increase our room count by taking several double-room suites and re-configuring them into two single suites. The resulting rooms are fine for a lone traveler or a couple who only plan on using the bed in the room for carnal activities – and nothing more. However, when couples find themselves in these rooms, their reaction is not pretty.
The wife was quiet but fuming. The husband was just fuming.
“This is how they treat old people? I’m pissed!”
And when I suggested he call the Front Desk or pay them a visit to discuss the matter…
“I can’t do that… I have a bad temper! I’ll start out fine… but then I’ll get so mad I’ll probably kill someone!”
His wife just sat there quietly nodding her head in agreement, as if remembering a past altercation that had a similar result. Now, most bellmen would decide the prudent thing to do would be to let the guest stew in their own juices, rather than risking making the situation worse.
But I’m not most bellmen.
So, of course, you just know I couldn’t let this one go, right? Rather than direct the guest to a manager, I decided to let my unique customer service skills take over. Sometimes you just have to play the hand you’re dealt and let the chips fall where they may. And so I did just that.
And I have to say, this might be my masterpiece.
“Just imagine, sir… if you do go to the Front Desk, snap out and actually kill someone… the cell you’d wind up in would be bigger than this room.”
As always, I’ll give you a moment to process the depth of my smartassery.
All done? Good.
After the couple took a few moments to accept the fact they were dealing with the world’s most smartass bellman, they broke into raucous laughter. Which, for seniors, can be fatal. I am happy to report, however, that they both survived “being hooked” and lived to be old another day.
And I’m still a smartass.
So all is good in the world.
See you in the lobby, kids…