Once again, I’ve decided to inspire a collective question among my readership.
And not just, “Why the hell are we reading this blog? After all, there are literally a billion cat videos on YouTube, and there’s still some paint drying on the kitchen walls…”
No, today we’re going to revisit the question, “How the hell does The Hook get away with this stuff?” To be clear, I don’t have any answers but if I do my job correctly, you won’t care. As I often say to the wife, the content may not be the greatest, but the payoff will be more than worth it.
This brings us to a typical Saturday during the so-called Niagara Falls off-season. The phone at the Bell Desk rang and I decided to have some fun while being a smartass bellman. You know, for a change of pace…
ME: Bell Desk, Robert speaking. How may I help you?
Gripping stuff so far, right?
GUEST: Can I have a cart but no bellman?
ME: I’m afraid not, sir.
GUEST: Why the hell not?
ME: Because we don’t like you, sir.
GUEST: Say what? But… but… you don’t even know me!
ME: We’ve heard things…
I swear, you could feel his apprehension over the Canadian phone line…
To clarify, I recognized the gentleman as a father of eight (!) that had checked in a few nights earlier. I had served them all and they seemed cool. Of course, I was still gambling with my job, but I’m certainly used to it.
I arrived at the room a few minutes later.
The gentleman answered the door.
Still gripping stuff, right? John le Carré has nothing on me.
GUEST: Are you the same guy who answered the phone?
ME: Guilty as charged, sir. And we still don’t like you.
He stood motiveless for what seemed like forever. (I really need to start carrying a watch.)
Then he started laughing so hard I was going to call Security to his room with a portable defibrillator.
In the end, he was amused. I was tipped. The world kept on revolving. The game continued.
As I said, I don’t specifically know just how I’ve manged to last in the hospitality game so long except to say I’ve learned how to pick my battles perfectly. Something as simple as the tone of a guest’s voice can be the key to deciding whether or not to let my smartass side take point. Here’s hoping my skills don’t diminish with time.
See you in the lobby, kids…