I know what you’re thinking: “Only ten, Hook? Are you slacking in your old age?”
Actually, I’m a slacker from way back, one of my high school
torturers teachers, Mr. Kidney, made a point of telling me that every… single… day.
“You’re a slacker, Hookey! You always will be! Someday, if they invent something called the internet…. you can quote me on that in your blog thingie!”
Okay, so maybe I’m paraphrasing a little…
The point is, Mr. Kidney’s assessment didn’t really bother me; he looked like Herb Tarlek on acid, so who gave a toss what he thought? But back to the mater at hand: I’m going to keep this review tight and to-the-point. I’ve held off on sharing my thoughts on the latest Star Wars film out of respect to the four-percent of the world’s population who have yet to see the film or even a review. Now on with the blogging show!
DEATH -STAR-SIZE SPOILERS AHEAD… SO BEWARE!
1) The Familiar. From the unforgettable, soul-stirring score to the original cast, and of course, the infamous crawl, Star Wars: The Force Awakens will take you back, past the horrific memory of those godawful prequels, to the first time you ever viewed a war among the stars. This film revives the cinematic techniques, the drama, the humor, the… everything that made the original films so iconic.
This addition to the mythos will feel like you’ve wrapped yourself in that blanket your grandmother knitted for you in the Seventies; it’ll protect you from the icy cold memory of Jar Jar Binks and that disgusting droid army.
2) J.J. Abrams. He’s everything George Lucas used to be, kids.
- Creative beyond measure.
- Willing to add more than one chick to the core cast.
- He doesn’t hate the black race so much he’d create Jar Jar to punish them for some imagined slight.
- Unwilling to insert his daddy issues into the franchise. (Although, that one actually worked out pretty well.)
- He actually listens to his cast and crew – and it shows.
In short, Abrams loves all things cinematic (and TV, too), and it’s apparent in every frame of film. He’s a mega-fan but he knows when to rein himself in and be a world-class director. Good on ya, J.J. Abrams.
3) Han Solo. Who doesn’t love The Solo? Harrison Ford may not be everyone’s cup of tea, you may be a die hard Luke fan, you may be convinced Han shot first and hate him for it, but after watching The Force Awakens you won’t be able to deny Ford’s contribution to the overall awesomeness of this flick.
Like his original co-stars, Luke Hamill and Carrie Fisher, Ford looks ridiculously-beat-up – but it makes sense in the context of the story. Solo’s been to hell and back, and Ford uses that weight to give the lovable rogue a layer he was lacking in previous films.
My only criticism? Solo’s at his best when he’s trying to talk his son, Kylo Ren, back from the Dark Side… and then Han meets his end. Ford has always been the heart and soul of the Star Wars franchise and I honestly don’t know how the next chapter will fare without Solo’s sardonic wit and indescribable charms.
4) Actual sets! Yes, kids, portions of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, were actually filmed on location in Ireland, Iceland and even Abu Dhabi. A far cry from a sound stage, right?
5) The new look Stormtroopers. The Empire is dead. Long live The First Order. And a new regime demands a new look for its grunts. And I love these guys – their look at least.
6) The new elements. A new Sith Lord. A kinda new planet-destroying weapon. New locales. Abrams has reinvigorated the franchise. What more can I say?
7) Daisy Ridley. Her Ren may or may not be a Skywalker, but one thing is for certain: Rey kicks galactic ass like no female ever has in this franchise.
8) Adam Driver. Driver’s Kylo Ren is struggling – with the call of Light Side of the Force. How cool is it that we have a villain who is fighting to stay villainous? Adam Driver is a revelation in this film.
9) John Boyega. A reformed First Order Stormtrooper? Never mind that no trooper has even been given more than a line or two in a Star Wars film, this one has become a hero? Boyega put this flick over the top for me.
10) Seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens with my daughter. As you can tell, these films have become a big part of my life, to say the least. To be able to share this latest chapter in the franchise with my daughter is surreal. I mean, I was a kid when the first film was released and now I’m watching the newest installment with my flesh and blood?
The best part? My daughter LOVED this film! I’m not sure what I would have done if she had hated it like she loathed the latest Bond film. That was not a comfortable movie-going experience, to say the least…
All right, I’m done. Time for you to make up your own mind and go see Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
See you in the lobby, kids…