Five Simple Ways To Actually Enjoy Your Vacation: Part 1.

Over the course of my career I’ve served thousands of people.

If I had to guess, I’d say that less than half of those people actually enjoyed themselves.

Here are some tips that, if followed correctly, should allow you to enjoy your trip and forget about the daily grind that you’ve attempted to escape in the first place. Speaking of escaping your personal Hell, here’s the first tip:


Of whatever it is that’s weighing you down at home. Such as:

  • Crazy in-laws that make the couple from Everybody Loves Raymond look sane.
  • Kids that sometimes act as though they’ve pledged their little souls to Beelzebub.
  • A boss that is Beelzebub.
  • An ever-growing pile of bills that threatens to overtake the national deficit.
  • A schedule that prevents you from actually enjoying life; never mind finding time for a little “quality time” with your spouse, you can barely squeeze out some quality time with yourself! Pun intended.

So after you’ve melted your credit card booking the trip, you have an even bigger hurdle to conquer. And don’t kid yourself, certain problems won’t disappear during your trip: they’ll intensify!

If your kids are out-of-control (and whose aren’t at times?), you’re going to have to lay down the law if they accompany you.  Most of us remember being in the back of the car and cowering in fear of our folks; you knew you were going to have trouble sitting back down if you pushed Dad too far. Nowadays, kids don’t have the fear of God instilled in them prior to embarking on the road. Fear is a great motivator, folks. Somewhere along the way we forgot just why our parents were such taskmasters in the first place.

Besides the kids, there may be trouble with the person sitting beside you that can drive you batty. If you bicker at home, you may kill each other when you’re away together! Seriously, I’ve seen couples hauled away in handcuffs – and not the type of cuffs they had planned on using during their trip…

MV5BMTgxNDU4NzQwMF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNTgwOTY2._V1_SX640_SY720_Let it go, Daddio…

So do whatever you have to do, but get your house in order before you leave your house. I know it won’t be easy, but let the family know the stakes are high, let them know you’ll be impossible to live with if things go awry, let them know you’ll murder them if they decide  to get in the way of your fun.

Violence is also a great motivator.

Moving on, remember to leave the office when you leave the office. A few years ago, it would have been unusual to see a laptop on a bell cart. Now it’s strange to see someone who doesn’t have an electronic tether of some sort attached to them. I see it all the time; Dad sends the family on their way while he stays in the room or lobby to take an “important” phone call or set up a Skype session on a tablet.

Trust me guys, push your family away too often and you’ll wind up living in a bachelor apartment watching a crappy TV while a package of hot dogs thaws in the sink. If you absolutely have to call the office, do it first thing in the morning and then turn the Smartphone off. You may not like letting go of the Rat Race, but it sure beats the alternative.

To sum up, before you leave the house you need to pack your luggage, but leave your baggage at home.

See you in the lobby, kids…


About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Life and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Five Simple Ways To Actually Enjoy Your Vacation: Part 1.

  1. Lucky Wreck says:

    Great advice! Crappy TV and hot dogs thawing in the sink is no way to live, and as always, I thoroughly enjoy your writing!

  2. One of the things we loved about camping was NO TV! Those in the caravan opposite had one though. We were not impressed. Now we don’t have a TV anyway, and don’t miss it in the slightest.
    If you’re going away, leave the laptop at home, and if you have to take the mobile, turn it off!.

  3. When I took vacations it took days to wind down. Now that I’m retired I’m totally wound down and will probably have to crank up fro vacation.

  4. curvyroads says:

    This is great advice and entertaining to boot!

  5. I have learned there is a difference between a vacation and a trip! A vacation is going somewhere you WANT to go and actually relax or do something fun that you remember with fondness. A trip is going anywhere else… LOL! You know? Like to visit family etc. That is most certainly NOT a vacation!!! 😛

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s