When You’re The Hook, Even Waking Up Is Complicated.

Events of the last few months have left me reflective and somber. Hence, the journey we’re about to embark upon…

On the surface my home life is a still pond, immutable and relatively calm, some might even say boring.

But if you take a closer look you’ll soon see the maelstrom raging below. For example, today began as it always does: the mini-TV/alarm clock on my side of the bed  shattered my slumber and a dream faded quickly, forcing me to slowly (very slowly) rise and carry the dog – who is usually splayed across my legs – downstairs to do her business on the back deck.

Must be nice to be carried to the bathroom, right? Did anyone do that for me when I broke my leg last summer? Hells, no! I had to crawl to the bathroom like a Morlock or worse, a Kardashian off my mood stabilizers. It was sad, I tell you.

Sorry about that. I’m back.

And so I waited while the dog does her business, I carried her furry butt back upstairs and very quietly, I placed her back on the bed, careful not to wake the sleeping princess curled up in a ball on one side. Any husband will attest to this, ladies; waking a slumbering spouse is akin to willingly  putting your testicles in a guillotine.

It just isn’t done.

Fortunately for me, I pulled it off (as a guy, I’m more than used to pulling it off, but in a vastly different way), and I was able to head downstairs to boot up my laptop and write another NaBloPoMo  post.

Which I just did.

Thank Dog for the relative freedom of the NaBloPoMo system. Otherwise, I may have to actually be creative – and as anyone who has read my “work” can attest… that’s not my strong suit.

I love it when a plans comes together, don’t you?

See you in the lobby, kids…



About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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30 Responses to When You’re The Hook, Even Waking Up Is Complicated.

  1. vinnieh says:

    Great work, your posts always make for excellent reading.

  2. 1jaded1 says:

    I almost hear the opening song for “The A Team”. Glad it all worked out.

  3. Creativity is definitely your strong suit! Dude…you don’t give yourself enough credit. Keep the NaPlo going strong! I am doing the NaNo this month and am already behind the 8-ball. Traveling, and I sent the wrong version of my novel to the work computer, so I can’t work on it. Guess I’ll just read 🙂

  4. Ally Bean says:

    In the years when I’ve done NaBloPoMo I’ve found that you can throw words together willy-nilly, call it creative– and all the peoples will love what your write. Not that I’m saying you’re being willy-nilly here, but you did make me smile, which I love to do.

  5. A says:

    Not creative, just who are you trying to fool Mr. Hookey?! Yay for NaBloPoMo Day 3!!! Woot!

  6. curvyroads says:

    I think your posts are awesome. That is all.

  7. You so rock my friend! Good job on another post… woohoo! And not creative? Whatchu talkin’ ’bout Willis? That ain’t no thang! (sorry, I digress, only one cup of Joe so far.. lol!) 😉

  8. Testicles in the guillotine. Try living with somebody with ME. The only reason you survive is the tiredness. You can otrun them

  9. Doug in Oakland says:

    Ye Gods! What would stabilize the mood of a Kardashian? And could one dump a few thousand gallons of it into the DC metro water supply?

  10. C.E.Robinson says:

    Yep, another great “hook” post! Whatever you come up with is a good chuckle or laugh-out-loud read! Happy November! Chryssa

  11. Seriously “putting your testicles in a guillotine”, lmao, I highly doubt that would be the case, but if so have you tried the gentle back rub, the soothing words?

  12. Paul says:

    Go Hook Go! Day three and screaming away from the start line.

  13. Something to woof about. Another hilarious post

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