Time, Time Tickin’… Tickin’ Away.

What you need to know about the blogger known as The Hook: He is a bellman in the Canadian tourist mecca known as Niagara Falls. To some, he is considered wildly hilarious, ridiculously bold and utterly original. To his wife, he is merely hilarious – mostly in the bedroom. But not for the right reasons.

To a bellman, time is money. Literally.

Of course, that point requires clarification, doesn’t it? I remember when I donned my first hospitality uniform and a senior bellman imparted that sage advice to me; I didn’t quire get it.

I thought I could pay my mortgage with an alarm clock. Trust me when I tell you, kids, never show up at your bank with a large old school ticking timepiece strapped to your chest. ( My hands were full of comics, of course.) Apparently it sends the wrong message.

He may have agreed to call off the police, but the bank manager was so pissed I had to switch banks.

We’ve drifted, haven’t we? I tend to do that. Let’s course correct, what do you say?

When you’re a bellman life is simple, with clear goals and objectives:

  •  Travelers check in.
  •  You greet them.
  •  You load their luggage and other belongings onto a cart.
  •  You deliver the luggage.
  •  You get tipped.
  •  You return to the lobby and repeat the cycle.

Yes, I realize suggesting a bellman’s life is simple is like suggesting Bruce Jenner merely got hair extensions; I guess I should have added an “In theory”, but you’ll forgive me, right? Returning to the topic at hand, the “repeat” part of the scenario is key here. Listen up, kiddies, ’cause this is the cornerstone of my existence as a hospitality wage slave…

A bellman makes a (laughable) minimum wage, so unless he has found a way to survive without food, shelter and worldly possessions, his livelihood is dependent on the number of bell calls (guest calls), he can complete in a shift.

Not only is time a bellman’s greatest and most confounding foe (this is why my blogging output is so laughable at times), it’s plagued me my entire life. And now it has won once more… gotta go, friends. As always, duty calls.

(Yes, I said “duty”. Grow up.)

See you in the lobby, kids…

No promises, but this was my first NaBloPoMo contribution. Wish me luck, won’t you? I’m gonna need it…


About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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31 Responses to Time, Time Tickin’… Tickin’ Away.

  1. Paul says:

    Nicely done Hook.

  2. A says:

    It’s my first time doing NaBloPoMo too! Go us!!!

  3. TJLubrano says:

    Let me wish you good luck here as well ^_^ I haven’t visited your site in a loooooong time. Apologies for that, dear Hook. I hope you’ll have fun with NaBloPoMo!

  4. So far so good. Only 29 to go.

  5. Austin says:

    Good luck on the challenge!

  6. oceanswater says:

    Very nice and interesting ❤️

  7. List of X says:

    Good luck? I thought you were asking for tips…:)

  8. Now I have a stupid song stuck in my head… thanks Robert! LOL!
    And good job on your contribution! You ROCK!~

  9. Good luck. I don’t believe I have stayed at a hotel where there is an actual Bellman, or maybe I didn’t notice. Do you wear a sign around your neck?

  10. Ink Pastries says:

    I have learned to pray “Help me to be happy with less.” As my sense of “American” entitlement slips away, I find I’m pretty happy opening a can of spinach, putting in a dollop of cream spinach and simmering on low heat. Eat and be happy. If I had to have meat for 3 meals a day, or follow some dumb-ass diet the magazines are telling me to go on, I’d spend a lot more of food, and I’d have to get in a lot more massage clients….God answers any prayers we make in earnest. Dear Bellman, may your and your family’s needs be less! : )

  11. Ink Pastries says:

    p.s. I meant to say “dollop of cream cheese.” Boy, again, my writing leaves much to be….edited.

  12. curvyroads says:

    Great start, Robert! I admire you for your words and dedication.

    From someone who hasn’t posted a single blog in months, this challenge is too daunting. 😉

  13. bardictale says:

    Liked what you did with the ending there^^

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