A Short, But Wicked Sweet One…

Any bellman worth his salt knows humor is one of the most powerful weapons in his arsenal.

That, and a medium-sized suitcase that “accidentally” strikes an obnoxious guest in the face, of course.

At any rate, put plainly, this summer has been a brutal one. Not that I mind, especially after I spent last summer on my porch rather than in the hospitality trenches. But back to this summer; yesterday was particularly insane, with one guest elevator down, Dragon Boat racers leaving the premises all at once and the usual surly suspects adding fuel to the fire.

So when I found myself in a crowd of hot, exhausted, increasingly-frustrated travelers who were not content to wait quietly for an elevator, I knew there was only one thing to do.

And so I launched into a brief stand-up routine.

Β  So, I see there are a lot of married couples here. I just became a widower myself… I’m pretty excited about that. I look awesome in black. And I’m getting more tail than ever! Turns out grief is a great aphrodisiac. Who knew?

The crowd gasped.

They were shocked.

They were stunned.

They broke up in one giant wave of laughter.

My job was done. My mission a successful one.

Until the wife reads this, that is.

See you in the lobby, kids..

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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29 Responses to A Short, But Wicked Sweet One…

  1. Your words have my stoic, work-set face curving up into a smile. Thank you for this!
    As in the elevator, missed accomplished in my neck of the woods, too. Thank you, Hook!

  2. charflew23 says:

    Wait a minute…who knew being a bellman includes be a comedian, what other sub jobs do you take part in?

  3. Ha ha ha…. I actually had a real LOL…. Yeah, really, who knew? Condolences to the Mrs. πŸ™‚

  4. 1jaded1 says:

    Haha! I was wondering what is Mrs. Hook gonna do when she reads this? Thank you, as always, for the much needed laugh.

  5. markbialczak says:

    Funny, Hook. But your next elevator alcove routine may be even more hilarious delivered with the black eye courtesy of your bride!

  6. NotAPunkRocker says:

    You did what you had to in a cranky crowd situation I am sure your wife will understand. πŸ™‚

  7. A says:

    Good one Mr. Hookey! I’ve missed your humor in my life πŸ™‚

  8. Ned's Blog says:

    After your wife reads this, I’m thinking she’ll be the one cracking the widow jokes…

  9. Ohhmmmmm! There’s gonna be truuubuullle!!! And his name gonna be Mud Hookey! LMAO! πŸ˜›

  10. The Cutter says:

    How do you “accidentally” hit someone with luggage?

  11. Paul says:

    Ha!~ Well done Hook!

  12. curvyroads says:

    Oh I’ve missed you Robert, in my self-imposed state of not reading or (writing, for that matter) anything for months!

    This was hilarious…I hope you survived after all! Cheers, Lynne

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