A Typical Morning… For Me, At Least.

VAMPIRELOVER (THE WIFE):  (Upon seeing my new hairstyle for the first time.)  Nice cut there, Skippy!

ME:  I take it you don’t approve?

VL:  You look like a soldier, which is hilarious because you wouldn’t last two minutes in the army. Or a shop teacher, which is even funnier considering you fell off a sawhorse while fixing the garage.

The love of my life, ladies and gentleman.

ME:  What’s wrong with looking like a shop teacher? I thought they got all the chicks?

VL:  Why would shop teachers get all the chicks?

ME:  It’s simple really…. they always have wood.

Needless to say, she was stunned. Luckily, twenty years of marriage to me sharpens one’s comedic reflexes.

VL:  You’re an idiot.

ME:  Guilty as charged. Ask yourself this though: Is it worse to be the idiot… or the person who married the idiot?

Without skipping a beat…

VL:  You’re an idiot wrapped in a moron.

ME:  And they said it wouldn’t last…

Short and sweet today, kids. See you in the lobby…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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25 Responses to A Typical Morning… For Me, At Least.

  1. “You’re an idiot wrapped in a moron”–she’s a keeper.

  2. Oh, how I love love stories…. sigh….

  3. charflew23 says:

    A love affair only a mother could love. Whitt & wisdom. Thanks Hook

  4. jlheuer says:

    Now we all want to see your haircut.

  5. Corny jokes?? Yep… I’m married to one of those TOO! LOL! Rock on Jackie!~

    • OMG!!! That looks just like your haircut…lol!!! Now everyone knows what it looks like…..hahahaha!!!

      • Paul says:

        As soon as I saw that pic, I thought: “That’s the Hook!” Great to see you haunting the interwebs Vampirelover17. Welcome. Now the Hook can’t get away with exaggerating the truth – like standing on a ladder instead of a sawhorse. Bwahahaha! 😀

  6. hollie says:

    Your wife is awesome! You’re a lucky man! Also, how does one fall off of a sawhorse?

  7. Haha!! Your conversations sound a lot like the ones I have with my boyfriend! It’s always good when your partner keeps you on your toes 😉

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