She had four feet to my six-and-a-half.
She had a crimson hue to her skin and hailed from Mexico, while I am a proud Canuck whose outer covering is whiter than Brooke Shields.
She was sad to leave the hotel, while I look forward to the end of every day with all the glee of a super-villain with an atom bomb.
We were a match made in H-E-double-hockey-sticks, and yet, she threw her arms around me as soon as I entered her suite.
MEXICAN SPITFIRE: Oh, Mr. Robert! I don’t want to leave here! Don’t make me go!
ME: It’s really not up to me, miss. I’m not from Immigration!
MS: (Doubled over with laughter.) Oh, you’re so funny, Mr. Robert! You want these dogs? They’re Shih Tzus, they have all their papers! My Italian husband and I went through Hell to bring them to Canada from America! They’re more legal than you and I!
ME: Well, than me, at least.
MS: Oh, Mr. Robert! But seriously, you want a dog? I’ve had a wonderful time here all week, but yesterday was a nightmare! I peed myself on the jet boat… told my husband I can’t stand the water, but he didn’t care! He’s Italian and so his temper is legendary! He and I cursed at everyone on the boat, especially the captain! I’m a wreck! You want a dog?
ME: Uh… you lost me halfway, but I made it back… and… no.
MS: (Hugging me again.) Oh, Mr. Robert!
Well, that was my morning.
How was yours?
I couldn’t get the darn dogs to sign a release, so…