Ay Yi Yi… Bang Bang!

She had four feet to my six-and-a-half.

She had a crimson hue to her skin and hailed from Mexico, while I am a proud Canuck whose outer covering is whiter than Brooke Shields.

She was sad to leave the hotel, while I look forward to the end of every day with all the glee of a super-villain with an atom bomb.

We were a match made in H-E-double-hockey-sticks, and yet, she threw her arms around me as soon as I entered her suite.

MEXICAN SPITFIRE:  Oh, Mr. Robert! I don’t want to leave here! Don’t make me go!

ME:  It’s really not up to me, miss. I’m not from Immigration!

MS:  (Doubled over with laughter.)  Oh, you’re so funny, Mr. Robert! You want these dogs? They’re Shih Tzus, they have all their papers! My Italian husband and I went through Hell to bring them to Canada from America! They’re more legal than you and I!

ME:  Well, than me, at least.

MS:  Oh, Mr. Robert! But seriously, you want a dog? I’ve had a wonderful time here all week, but yesterday was a nightmare! I peed myself on the jet boat… told my husband I can’t stand the water, but he didn’t care! He’s Italian and so his temper is legendary! He and I cursed at everyone on the boat, especially the captain! I’m a wreck! You want a dog?

ME:  Uh… you lost me halfway, but I made it back… and… no.

MS:  (Hugging me again.)  Oh, Mr. Robert!

Well, that was my morning.

How was yours?


I couldn’t get the darn dogs to sign a release, so…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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22 Responses to Ay Yi Yi… Bang Bang!

  1. oceanswater says:

    So funny, and I have two dogs those exact same colors… 🙂

  2. List of X says:

    Tipping with hugs and dogs, interesting…

  3. Austin says:

    Dogs never want to sign your release, but they always want you to pick up their poop. Such divas.

  4. I want to slap the stupid who casually break off a relationship with an animal. (which is usually found lost, and depressed) She sounds a couple of steps below stupid.

  5. Paul says:

    My mind is still bent trying to figure this out. He is Italian, she is Mexican, the dogs were bought in the US and then legally imported to Canada. Where she is trying to sell them? Ah well, what a tangled web we weave. Cool story Hook especially where you got the big hug.

  6. shimoniac says:

    I keep wondering if your daily commute involves rabbit holes or a looking glass. I’m not sure that your job site exists in this reality. 😕

  7. Dogs are such wonderful pets, you should have went for it. 😀

  8. How many times I would love to be a fly on the wall and follow you through your day. You have touched so many people’s lives – in wonderful ways!

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