Niagara Falls Is Far From Boring, Kids.

“I hate it in Niagara Falls! Nothing interesting ever happens here! Why didn’t we go to Disney? This family sucks!” – Eleven-year-old Cindy Johnson, a Kardashian in the making.

Niagara Falls is boring, Cindy?

Eleven hours of  hospitality “labor”. Over 800 check-outs. A 1980s sitcom star. The entire cast of a hit reality show plus former cast members and hanger-ons/leeches. Several bachelorette parties. A wedding  party. Corporate drones. And assorted families/ne’er-do-wells/gamblers/rapscallions.

Mix ’em all together with the world’s most outspoken blogging bellman and what do you get?

Well, just imagine taking the characters of The Shawshank Redemption, dropping them into the background of Apocalypse Now and mixing in the destruction of Independence Day. Got it?

Now multiply that by ten.

Yes, kiddies, it was another wild ‘n wooly Sunday morning in Niagara Falls. The weather was gorgeous twenty-four hours ago, but it has turned on the proverbial dime, and the city has been covered in rain, wind and a profound walking-across-your-grave-chill.

So as you can imagine, serving the public has been more fun than watching a blind long-tailed cat navigate its way through a room full of rocking chairs.

As the hoodlums and bad girls of Grease requested, I would tell you more, but the truth of the matter is…

I’m knackered.

The upheaval of the past few months lingers, I missed this week’s Sunday Blog Share on Twitter, my bad leg (yes, I’ve become that guy) is throbbing, and my shift is far from over.

I will say this: I’ll never watch that douchey reality show featuring “housemates battling for TV supremacy” again.

Not that I ever did.

Pray for me, friends, won’t you?

See you in the lobby…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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17 Responses to Niagara Falls Is Far From Boring, Kids.

  1. Love the word rapscallions. Hope you get a breather on Monday.

  2. markbialczak says:

    No, not boring, Hook. That kid needs to get a real life, I say. Wouldn’t know excitement if it bit her on her big booty, I bet.

  3. Paul says:

    Do you ever get a day off Hook? You are one hard working son of a gun. i don’t know how you do it-on your feet all day – and long shifts and all that abuse. Whew, one dedicated employee. Have a great day dude!

  4. Of course it will be boring if they don’t leave their room. 😮 😮 😮

  5. 1jaded1 says:

    When I visited, I loved. My parents had their honeymoon there. Bored people are boring. Hugging you with the strenght of a bear. This is virtual, though. IRL puny.

  6. I like this, Hook. Mind you, I have a pretty fixed opinion about Kim Karadarseian

  7. Kids! Take them to the world’s wonders and all they want is fries! But Hook, it’s NOT fun watching a long tailed blind cat navigate a room full of rocking chairs…why do people think nasty things happening to cats is funny? Cats are good and sweet and nice!

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