“I hate it in Niagara Falls! Nothing interesting ever happens here! Why didn’t we go to Disney? This family sucks!” – Eleven-year-old Cindy Johnson, a Kardashian in the making.
Niagara Falls is boring, Cindy?
Eleven hours of hospitality “labor”. Over 800 check-outs. A 1980s sitcom star. The entire cast of a hit reality show plus former cast members and hanger-ons/leeches. Several bachelorette parties. A wedding party. Corporate drones. And assorted families/ne’er-do-wells/gamblers/rapscallions.
Mix ’em all together with the world’s most outspoken blogging bellman and what do you get?
Well, just imagine taking the characters of The Shawshank Redemption, dropping them into the background of Apocalypse Now and mixing in the destruction of Independence Day. Got it?
Now multiply that by ten.
Yes, kiddies, it was another wild ‘n wooly Sunday morning in Niagara Falls. The weather was gorgeous twenty-four hours ago, but it has turned on the proverbial dime, and the city has been covered in rain, wind and a profound walking-across-your-grave-chill.
So as you can imagine, serving the public has been more fun than watching a blind long-tailed cat navigate its way through a room full of rocking chairs.
As the hoodlums and bad girls of Grease requested, I would tell you more, but the truth of the matter is…
The upheaval of the past few months lingers, I missed this week’s Sunday Blog Share on Twitter, my bad leg (yes, I’ve become that guy) is throbbing, and my shift is far from over.
I will say this: I’ll never watch that douchey reality show featuring “housemates battling for TV supremacy” again.
Not that I ever did.
Pray for me, friends, won’t you?
See you in the lobby…