Yes, technically, it’s Tuesday.
No, you aren’t so hungover that you slept through Monday. Again. And no, you haven’t fallen into an alternate dimension where super-intelligent dolphin overlords keep a restless human populace calm by eradicating things they hate, like Mondays, Justin Bieber, premature ejaculation, people who shame their pets on the interwebs and the Kardashians. I just feel extremely lethargic today so I’m declaring this “virtual Monday” on my blog.
That all right with you lot? Thanks. This is why I love you all. And now, onto the wisdom portion of our program.
One must have a code of conduct from which to govern their path through this world.
Adhering to said path can be a pain in the ass. In fact, it can be a real bitch at times, but it must be done. A personal code separates us from the animals and other baser life forms.
That’s it. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? What’s that, readers? You don’t have a code? Well then, time for a bonus piece of wisdom.
If you don’t have a code of conduct from which to govern your path through this world, don’t ask others to help you write one. And above all, don’t copy another person’s code.
Codes are deeply personal and attempting to emulate another individual’s code can lead to disaster. Like the time I foolishly decided to copy Mike Tyson’s code when dealing with a drunken guest. Her ear tasted like tequila; I couldn’t get the taste out of my mouth for days….
The rest is up to you.
See you in the lobby, kids…