I Know You’re Busy Watching Football, But If You Have A Minute…

I’ve seen it all today.

Psychotic strippers-turned-escorts.

Maniacal rugrats on sugar-fueled rampages across the lobby landscape.

The biggest, meanest, bully I’ve ever encountered in seventeen years in the hospitality trenches.

A colleague who bent over like a two-dollar hooker for said bully by giving him his own luggage cart. (In his defense, my colleague just wanted to defuse the situation, but he lost more than one cart for a few minutes. The jackass in question will be back now that he’s seen how easily Niagara Falls bellmen fold.)

As many of you know and will attest to, I’m a pretty linear guy. I don’t have many secrets (not anymore, at least), or an agenda. I’ve tried to live my life by a simple set of rules; this is especially true of my professional life. So to say this angry jackass got under my skin is like saying Marshawn Terrell Lynch has had some minor disagreements with the press.

This guest infuriated me. I’ve suffered unimaginable horror at the hands of bullies in the past. This guest’s behavior struck such a deep chord with me that I didn’t stop vibrating inside (in a bad way) from ten in the morning until two in the afternoon. I have one rule that applies to both my worlds:

Never, ever, ever, ever give into bullies.

And my colleague violated that rule for me.

But the moment has passed. The damage has been done. The reverberations will be felt for some time but you can’t live in the past and survive long enough to enjoy the future. So let’s look at another moment that has come and gone today, a moment in which I was the coolest I’ll probably ever be.

He was a trippy-dippy, New Age hippie who bore more than passing resemblance to this guy…

And when our paths crossed he may have been riding a chemical-induced wave, or he had smoked some really powerful weed, or he may even have enjoyed a drink or ten, but either way, he was waxing philosophical… and I was to be his student.

Whether I liked it or not.

FAUST GUEST:  There are two types of people in this world, Robert. The hunters and the hunted. Which are you?

Unfortunately for my “mentor”, I was in no mood to be lectured to.

ME:  Neither, I’m afraid. I am a chronicler of both the predator and prey. I’m something all-together different.

(Dramatic pause worthy of a feature film.)

GUEST:  What are you, mate?

ME:  I’m The Hook.

To attempt to follow this would be folly, so I’ll see you in the lobby, kiddies…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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24 Responses to I Know You’re Busy Watching Football, But If You Have A Minute…

  1. Pamela Edwards says:

    You’ve got the right attitude Hook ! Glad you don’t let yourself be bullied .

  2. Paul says:

    Well done Hook.

  3. It’s ridiculous to imply that everyone can be pigeonholed into just one of two categories. It’d be like saying everyone is either decent or a dickhead.

    Oh…wait. On second thought…

  4. trillie says:

    My experience with being bullied by customers is that if you don’t give them their way, the next thing that happens is that a manager will. So I usually just bow like a reed in a stream…

  5. I’d have whooped somebody with my cane and not lasted 30 minutes doing what you do. How are your teeth. Any left or are they ground down to the bone. :/

  6. Lucky Wreck says:

    Woohooo! Awesome response to him! You are The Hook. He best reconize! I have encountered a few Jack A*ses like that and have always wanted to bust out the bad ass like that on them. But, the “I must be polite and agreeable” side of me usually wins. Hopefully, in the future, the side with the bad ass will abide 😀

  7. Heroic use of words, my friend.

  8. Excellent! And “To attempt to follow your words would be folly.”
    (Although I do believe I may have stumbled upon your earlier incarnation while writing my last post….ever been to Waco in past lives?)

  9. Because you be The MAN.. AND The Hook!! LOL!!! 😀

  10. pmahaney says:

    I think Kate from “Views and Mews from Coffee Cat” was right about you Hook, she said you’d be a good read. Not to mention, but I think your a good egg as well. Way to stand your ground man!

  11. Bob Lee says:

    Geez – that got under my skin just thinking about the abuse(s) we’ve probably all taken in the past and I whole heartedly agree Don’t ever, ever, ever take their shit. These assh*les need to be dealt with on the spot & I hope that jackass doesn’t come back to your establishment because he may have The Hook to deal with. 🙂

  12. curvyroads says:

    Bullies suck, but you are still the coolest of the cool, Robert!

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