I’ve seen it all today.
Maniacal rugrats on sugar-fueled rampages across the lobby landscape.
The biggest, meanest, bully I’ve ever encountered in seventeen years in the hospitality trenches.
A colleague who bent over like a two-dollar hooker for said bully by giving him his own luggage cart. (In his defense, my colleague just wanted to defuse the situation, but he lost more than one cart for a few minutes. The jackass in question will be back now that he’s seen how easily Niagara Falls bellmen fold.)
As many of you know and will attest to, I’m a pretty linear guy. I don’t have many secrets (not anymore, at least), or an agenda. I’ve tried to live my life by a simple set of rules; this is especially true of my professional life. So to say this angry jackass got under my skin is like saying Marshawn Terrell Lynch has had some minor disagreements with the press.
This guest infuriated me. I’ve suffered unimaginable horror at the hands of bullies in the past. This guest’s behavior struck such a deep chord with me that I didn’t stop vibrating inside (in a bad way) from ten in the morning until two in the afternoon. I have one rule that applies to both my worlds:
Never, ever, ever, ever give into bullies.
And my colleague violated that rule for me.
But the moment has passed. The damage has been done. The reverberations will be felt for some time but you can’t live in the past and survive long enough to enjoy the future. So let’s look at another moment that has come and gone today, a moment in which I was the coolest I’ll probably ever be.
He was a trippy-dippy, New Age hippie who bore more than passing resemblance to this guy…
And when our paths crossed he may have been riding a chemical-induced wave, or he had smoked some really powerful weed, or he may even have enjoyed a drink or ten, but either way, he was waxing philosophical… and I was to be his student.
Whether I liked it or not.
FAUST GUEST: There are two types of people in this world, Robert. The hunters and the hunted. Which are you?
Unfortunately for my “mentor”, I was in no mood to be lectured to.
ME: Neither, I’m afraid. I am a chronicler of both the predator and prey. I’m something all-together different.
(Dramatic pause worthy of a feature film.)
GUEST: What are you, mate?
ME: I’m The Hook.
To attempt to follow this would be folly, so I’ll see you in the lobby, kiddies…