NEVER A Dull Moment In My World…

My apologies for the unoriginal title, friends. I know I’ve said it before – and I’ll say it again, count on it – but it bears mentioning frequently.

JOE:  (A senior valet driver whose youthful exuberance is refreshing.)  Look what I found outside on the valet deck, Robert!

The receipt was from an establishment that caters to lovers who are serious about their vocation. In other words, it was a receipt from a sex shop.

JOE:  (Giggling like a school girl.) You read it?  It’s for “ANAL STARTER”! What is that exactly?

ME:  Well, in my experience, Joe, it’s a ridiculously expensive bottle of wine. That, and an empty promise like, “I swear it won’t hurt much, honey.”

Joe pondered my explanation for a long moment and then burst out laughing. As did the three valet drivers at the desk across from mine. And the five guests who happened to be fortunate enough to be approaching my desk at that educational moment.

And that’s how my day started. Who knows where it will go from here?

See you in the lobby, kids…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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17 Responses to NEVER A Dull Moment In My World…

  1. vinnieh says:

    That’s certainly an eventful start to the day.

  2. wisejourney says:

    Hope all goes well in the world of the Hook

  3. oceanswater says:

    It can only go up, up, up… LOL

  4. susielindau says:

    Vrooooooooooooooom!!!!!

  5. 1jaded1 says:

    Haha. Let us know how the rest of the day goes!

  6. You are an educational delight to all. If ever I have an awkward question I always know who to ask. Keep us posted if the day continues on that note…;-)

  7. sonsothunder says:

    “There seems to be something paranormal taking place in the Hotel’s elevator, Detective”.
    “How many times do I have to say it,George? There is no such thing as paranormal activity”.
    “But Sir” “Everyone who gets in the elevator only want to go up, up up..”
    “Yes, I’ve gathered as much from the last few post, George”. “Now take this small sample of water to Dr. Ogden, and have her run some test”. “And George”. “Yes Detective”? “Let Julia know I MUST get to the “Bottom” of this speedily”. “Oh, and George” “Yes Detective?” “Please, don’t drink the water”. — “Ah, oh, ah yes Detective — right away sir.

  8. recoveringwomanofadultery says:

    Hilarious. Brilliant response.

  9. Hmm. I think I own the “anal ender”…currently employed as a door stop 😉

  10. I wonder how much it costs for the finisher?

  11. Paul says:

    Yowaza! Excellent comeback Hook. It takes me hours to think of snappy comebacks like that – which sort of defeats their purpose. Ha!

  12. Hyacinth says:

    Lol I think I’ve said this before, but seriously, I wish I could think on my feet as quickly as you!

  13. curvyroads says:

    Too bad Lucy and Ethel didn’t know about that…

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