Experiment time, kids! Here is a brief snippet of my day, written before the first call of my shift.
And nothing more.
Shall we begin?
So, despite my best efforts to the contrary, Sunday is here. Again.
At the moment, the hotel is in the midst of awakening from a Saturday night slumber that, for most guests, was induced by alcohol, pharmaceuticals that were originally prescribed for someone else, coital activity and in rare cases, plain old exhaustion. There are no hookers yet. No drunken corporate drones. No hung-over cougars. No Red Bull addicted kids. No twenty-something couples desperately clinging to their youth by engaging in wild, reckless, dangerous sex. (They all seem to think life ends at thirty. The fools have no idea.)
The lobby is virtually empty.
The horde has not arrived.
But some guests are beginning to make their way down to the lobby – slowly – but my fellow bellmen are only interested in one particular guest.
ART, MIDNIGHT BELLMAN EXTRAORDINAIRE: Guess what , Robert?
ME: You were struck by a freak meteor shower on the way to work, gained temporary super powers, fought off an alien invasion single-handed, which required you travel to a future where humanity was long-dead and there you met several time-displaced individuals who agreed to remain behind and restart the human race and when you returned you repaired all the collateral damage before I arrived for work?
ART: Uh… no.
ME: Awww…. I was so hoping something really cool would happen.
ART: There’s a Toronto Maple Leaf here with his wife. They arrived late last night after they won a game.
ME: You’re lying!
ART: No, I’m dead serious!
ME: Come on! I know I don’t follow hockey and I have no real interest in that news but I still refuse to believe that!
ART: I swear, I’m telling the truth!
ME: The Leafs won a game?
And that’s it, folks. Let me know if my efforts to squeeze in a post before my day begins in earnest were successful, will you?
See you in the lobby…