For Ann. (And Everyone Else, I Guess.)

Halloween 2014 was a major blow-out, both personally (VampireLover informed me we received four trick-or-treaters this year) and professionally. (My gratuities were truly scary, kids.)

The Halloween from Hell fell on a Friday and Saturday was equally dismal at the hotel, so I wasn’t expecting much from this morning’s check-out crowd.

And they did not disappoint. Or rather, they did. But I was expecting that, so it’s okay, I guess. I mean, not really, but…

For those of you still with us, I’m going to move onto the entertaining portion of this post.

Some of my eagle-eyed followers (I’m speaking to you, Ann), will recall this tweet:

I just encountered the kitty in question and let me tell you, kiddies, she was definitely the cat who got the cream – and then some!

USED KITTY:  Pardon me, sweetie, but do you know what day it is? I’m pretty messed up!

ME:  No problem, miss, it’s Sunday. Lose a day, did you? And your clothes?

Yep, she was still in her ratty kitty cat costume. Her make-up was caked on her weathered face and her black hair looked like something an actual feline coughed up. She was a sight, for certain.

Tori Black as Catwoman (who else?) in Batman XXX

UK:  (In a giggly, whisperd voice.) Nah, I had this on when I checked in with my boyfriends! I haven’t left the room in two days!

ME:  Yeah, I can see your tail is a little worse for the wear.

UK:  (Reaching into her oversized purse and producing a crumpled tail.)  How did you know my tail was messed up?

ME:  That’s not the tail I was referring to, miss.

UK:  (After pondering my statement for a moment.)  Oh, you! You’re a sharp one, Mr. Bellguy!

ME:  Call me The Hook. Everyone else does.

UK:  You’re HILARIOUS, Hook! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to vomit.

ME:  No problem, go cough up a hairball and we’ll see each other later.

UK:  (After nearly doubling over with laughter.)  YOU’RE HILARIOUS!

And that’s all I have for today, kids. Happy Sunday, everyone.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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17 Responses to For Ann. (And Everyone Else, I Guess.)

  1. toad2014 says:

    Much like a treat!

  2. Hair ball. There are several jokes here from which I shall refrain.

  3. orples says:

    I know where to come to get a laugh.

  4. Paul says:

    I feel bad for women like that. I actually paid the going rate one night to have one sit on a picnic table in a reststop and tell me about her night and life. Just sad.

  5. I was happy to spend a nice quiet Friday night at home. Sorry you had such a shitty weekend.

  6. girlseule says:

    Sounds like she had one hell of a busy Halloween.
    “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to vomit.” I have lost count of how many times I have had to say this to people, maybe me and kitty lady would get along!

  7. Hysterical. As William Thomas would say…”You can’t make this stuff up”.

  8. Thanks for the follow up darlin’!! I don’t like how she ended up, but I might have liked some of the prelude 🙂

  9. Did you REALLY say that? I guess I might like spending two days locked up with five boyfriends…if they kept it going with the cocoa and fairy bread.

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