A Bellman’s Greatest Enemy.

After three months on the sidelines – otherwise known as “my front porch” – I’d forgotten that a bellman’s life isn’t all about racing the clock to deliver luggage, manipulating surly personalities to procure a gratuity,  dodging frisky hookers, cougars and drunken bridesmaids/bachelorettes, and expecting the unexpected… it’s also about managing your downtime, something a bellman has in abundance on given days.

Today is one such day.

And how.

The day started out with a metaphorical bang; the first sight that filled my consciousness when I arrived at work at 8 am was a stack of lists. Specifically, passenger lists – for four buses: two had been scheduled simultaneously, one was to be dealt with at 8:30 and another for 9:00. My first thought?

“By the time this wave of buses is over, I’m going to be that guy, ‘the bellman with the bad leg'”

And so I was. Still, I didn’t have a problem with the routine in general. I almost missed the frantic dash across the length of the hotel, dodging guests of all varieties and mindsets along the way, the challenge of loading twenty bags on a cart designed to hold less than half that number, the sheer fun one can derive from attempting to converse with tourists whose only grasp of the English language is derived from North American television shows, and of course, frigid, soul-sucking tour guides and crusty, slovenly bus drivers who are so filled with resentment over their life choices they literally spew venom when they holler, “Where are my bags, pal? I’ve got a schedule to keep!” Of course, “almost” is the operative word here, but you knew that, didn’t you?

Anyhoo, thanks to an overloaded schedule, the morning has come and gone in a cocaine nanosecond. However, now I’m faced with the unenviable task of burning through what remains of my shift. Wish me luck, gang. I’m going to need it; I’ve only seen one hooker all day – which is truly bizarre when you consider that the hotel is currently playing host to a corporate  conference with money to burn.

Oh well, this too shall pass.

See you in the deserted lobby, kids…

Welcome to my world, kids.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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19 Responses to A Bellman’s Greatest Enemy.

  1. I’m glad you are back to the grind and feeling better!! 🙂

  2. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Is it early in the day for hookers, or are there usually more around 24/7?

  3. The Cutter says:

    Does a day time shift hooker typically get paid more?

  4. So, your bus drivers unload luggage like this for you to sort out? Eiye. 😀 Kidding.
    Breathe like the breathing’s good. 😀

  5. That picture makes me want to cry… for your leg and for me. It resembles the state of my house at any given moment. Looking forward to the regular return of the observations of the worldly, and otherworldly, guests. Missed you, Robert!

  6. 1jaded1 says:

    I hope someone helped you with all those bags. :0(

  7. Ned's Blog says:

    I’m pretty sure one of those is mine from a flight I took to Vancouver B.C. in 1997. I’ll be in touch.
    By the way, it’s a real joy to have you back 😉

  8. Paul says:

    Yikes! I guess I never gave much thought to just hpw many peices of luggage are in a hotel that size at any given time. Whew. managing that must be a headache of monstrous proportions. Oh, and could I have that bag on the bottom in the back left corner please? Bwahaha!

    Welcome back Hook! Great to see you back in the saddle bringing some order to this chaotic world.

  9. Oh my goodness! That is quite a royal mess. I now have a higher respect for everyone who works in a big hotel, especially during conferences and special events. Because everyone wants their bags asap and they don’t understand why it takes so long. Hope you are doing well though. Take good care of you and your leg. Hugs x

  10. As everyone else has already stated, it’s nice to have you back in the saddle. This place is always good for a heaping helping of perspective. The funny kind. Not the sad kind.

  11. Nothing like dancing in a hurricane! (rest when you can)

  12. Oh gods – so much luggage!

  13. That looks worse than the room they keep the luggage in at the airport. What a mess. Hopefully your leg survived the chaos.

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