You’ve Got News… From The Hook.

Good news, everyone!

While my healing factor is not on par with that of a certain Canadian mutant (I’m a nerd but I’m married to a real girl so I don’t feel so bad), I have followed my doctor’s orders to the letter for six weeks now and….

…wait for it…

today I walked to the bathroom under my own power, without the aid of crutches!!!

This is BIG, folks. Like Kim Kardashian’s aircraft carrier-size ass, BIG. Work is still a month away but things are looking up. I’ve spent six weeks lounging about like a comic book playboy – but without the fortune, good looks, or cool lair – and let me tell you, I’m lucky to still be alive. On any given day, VampireLover has enough on her plate but adding the weight of my needs to the mix?

Well, that’s had some interesting results, to say the least. Still, we’ve developed a new dynamic: She does everything from taking the dog out at night and first thing in the morning to serving me dinner on a tray in the living room – and I sit on my butt and heal.

(To be clear, by “heal”, I mean “do nothing.”)

But that dynamic is as dead as my chances of being published by the Huffington Post.

It is a new day, kids. My left leg is as unsteady as Amanda Bynes during an interview conducted by Lindsay Lohan, but it’s passed muster so far today. I’ll be tackling stairs later on today – slowly, of course. I’m currently upstairs in VampireLover’s knitting room; she’s toiling away at her knitting machine while I’m blogging. (This was formerly my comic book lair. Ain’t the modern domestic dynamic grand?)

VAMPIRELOVER:  What are you doing, Butthead? We’ve been up here for an hour and you’ve barely spoken to me. What gives?

ME:  I was worried about throwing your concentration off, so I’ve just been sitting here quietly surfing/blogging/tweeting.

VAMPIRELOVER:  I’m not you, Moron-For-Brains, I can do more than one thing at once. A little conversation would be nice!

As you can tell, I was so inspired by her love frustration, that I actually ignored her to record her words.

That was not wise.


It’s a good thing I walk again. I’m going to have to run from my wife…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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36 Responses to You’ve Got News… From The Hook.

  1. Sofia Leo says:

    Congrats on being able to use the loo alone 🙂 May your recovery speed up from here.

  2. djmatticus says:

    Hooray! That’s great news. I hope your stair exploration goes well later. And, I’m sure you’ll be back running in no time. Fear of one’s wife is a great motivator, for sure.

  3. Now that you can actually WALK to the bathroom without the aid of crutches, each time you do it will be occupied by one of the Females in your house!

    Fearless Leader Pro Tip: Buy a camping potty.

  4. Veronica says:

    Never ignore the good woman, especially in your situation. Glad to hear you’ve progressed btobthe next step…

  5. TJLubrano says:

    YAY!!! ^_^ I’m happy for you Hook!

  6. Hello! Not interacted with you for a while so thought I’d stop by and say hi. I’m glad to hear you’re recovering from whatever it was. I’m pretty sure your wife is too 🙂

  7. 😀 😀 😀
    The lame can walk and the blind can see. Wait a minute, is that right?
    Congratulations! Halleluiah. 🙂

  8. Congratulations, my dear!! You won’t get any special treatment now 😉

    By the way, how is the harmonica going?

  9. Yay!!! Great news!!

  10. Sounds great. Walking to the corner for a beer ought to be on the goal list.

  11. I’m glad you can walk by yourself again!

  12. Paul says:

    Yeah Hook! A taste of freedom. More to come. Glad to hear the great healing news. Keep getting better.

  13. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Every step counts!

    Ok, enough with inspirational. Keep kicking ass and taking names!

  14. Ah, the freedom of being able to pee whenever you want. Congratulations! I think I would take it easy on Vampire Lover until you can outrun her again.

  15. Glad to hear you are improving, Hook. Hope it goes smoothly from here.

  16. List of X says:

    As Neil Armstrong never said, it’s a small step for mankind, but a huge leap for The Hook. 🙂

  17. Roxie says:

    yay! you’re almost one foot out the door! keep up the good work by aggravating the MRS. 🙂

  18. Austin says:

    One small step for man…

  19. Walk on, walk on!
    With hope in your heart!
    And you’ll never walk alone!
    You’ll never walk alone!

  20. Nadia says:

    No crutches! Yay to the yayness!! x

  21. tammyarlidge says:

    Hook! That is fantastic amazing news! Wow!
    Baby steps. I want you to know that you’ve inspired me
    to finally get my blog up and running again. Even through
    your adversity and pain, you’ve got it going on! You’ve
    inspired all of us and have still managed to blog and enlighten.
    (So I have no excuse! $😉
    Thank you! And congratulations!

  22. mollytopia says:

    Holy crap I’m so far behind I didn’t even know you were recovering from anything! Yay you all the way to the bathroom! I hope you can run soon haha

  23. Oh my! I have not been following very well. I didn’t know you were unwell. Wishing you the speediest recovery, Hook. Hope you get the rest you need before going on full steam ahead. Take good care.

  24. oceanswater says:

    You are on your way dude… congrats!

  25. mairedubhtx says:

    Glad to hear you’re on the mend. Feel better soon.

  26. So glad to hear you are healing up!! 🙂

  27. Pyx says:

    Big boy undies here you come – and by that I mean adult male size Superman undies.
    Great to hear you are on the mend Sir Hook, I am certain things have not been the same without you haunting the Lobby.

  28. crankygiraffe says:

    That is awesome news! Soon enough you will miss being waited on hand-and-foot 🙂

  29. I’m so glad to read you are on the mend! All the best, friend.

  30. girlseule says:

    Wonderful news, you’ll be running and jumping around soon enough! Wishing you a speedy recovery!

  31. Yayyyyyyyy!!!!! The Hook is back on both feet, how grand life is after healing! So very happy for you my friend, but be sure to take each step one at a time 😉 XOXO

  32. Aircraft carrier big. And probably just in time…
    Now be careful and don’t trip over the dog. (We’d be crushed if she was hurt.)
    Hobble on with skill! (Besides nice fall weather will be here just in time for you to walk around and enjoy it!)

  33. Big step! I hope you will be back to your old self soon!!! Vampirelover is right, how could you forget we women can multitask. It’s inbuilt into our chromosomes…. Like I am typing this as hubby is trying to explain to me the intrinsics of Australian politics, blah, blah, blah…..

  34. Ned's Blog says:

    That’s definitely one giant step for your behind. I’m very glad to hear you’re seeing progress. At least on the commode.

  35. I have not checked in with you for far too long, Rob. Is there a golden opportunity here for you? Well, sounds like you’re making the most of it. Time to recover, recharge, and reboot. That’s all I’ve got.

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