I Suppose You’re Wondering Why I’ve Called You All Here…

I’ve always wanted to say that…

Moving on…. I hate to disappoint anyone – outside of the bedroom, that is – but my blogging generator is still chugging along at half-power.

Our buddy, Ned Hickson is setting the world on fire with 4,000 followers and I can barely hobble together a post. The good news is, I’ve been able to start another writing project, but the bad news appears when I try to transfer the chicken scratched contents of a Hilroy notebook to my computer. I’m able to set my thoughts to paper but when it comes to transcription I ‘d rather give Kris Jenner her hourly bikini wax than sit in front of my laptop.

But I shouldn’t complain… then again, I’m so good at it, how can I resist?


1)  Not being able to walk to the bathroom.  These days, it takes at least ten minutes to relieve myself. That may not seem like an extraordinary amount of time but when you’re crawling across the floor on your ass and self-doubt is weighing you down, it’s a fuckin’ eternity.

2)  Not being able to earn.  I am… no, scratch that, I was the breadwinner at home. Now I can’t even provide crumbs. We’re getting by – hot dogs on bread and baloney sandwiches as a steady diet isn’t so bad – but my sense of self is keyed into my ability to provide for my family and I miss being able to do so.

3)  Going without comic books.  I miss my weekly visits to the comic store with my daughter. The day when she has better things to do than hang out with her old man is just around the corner – damn it – and this mess is cutting into what remains of our father/daughter time. I miss being the cool dad. Yes, a comic book nerd can actually be the cool dad. Shut up.

4)  Having a reason to get up in the morning.  My family is still the light of my life. They accept me for the dumbass I am. They’re not exactly pleased about it, but they accept it. However, every day is the same:

  • Get up, crawl downstairs.
  • Get cleaned up – on one leg.
  • Sit on the couch – for hours.
  • Switch to the porch.
  • Come in and eat.
  • Sit on the couch.
  • Crawl upstairs.
  • Go to bed.
  • Pray for a bolt of lightning to penetrate my bedroom window.

5)  Not being able to finish a post.  Seriously, I’m done.

Not to worry, folks, I’ll be The Hook again soon, I’m sure. This is Robert, signing off.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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24 Responses to I Suppose You’re Wondering Why I’ve Called You All Here…

  1. Ned's Blog says:

    What can I say, Robert. Aside from calling you…Eric?!? *sigh*
    Anyway, I’m chalking it up to old age and… uh… Yep, that about covers it. Now what were we talking about, George?

    Oh yeah: Hang in there, my friend. I can feel the old Robert in your words. And not just that tiny bedroom part.

  2. Britt says:

    I can *hear* the old Robert, too (“feeling” him sounds inappropriate, but I suppose you two have known each other longer). Is there a clearing in the fog, or at least a plan for the leg?

    Want to drum up more followers? Discuss the viral Excel spreadsheet of sex excuses. It has the entire world nervous and giggling and outraged and commiserating and complaining. And it’s hilarious.


    • Veronica says:

      Viral excuses for no sex. that would be the least of their worries I’d say,
      More ‘feeling’ is on the cards I think.

  3. Oh Robbie (Is that okay??) things will get better soon, I promise 🙂

    There are moments when life truly does suck. I’m sorry this has to be one of those times for you. I will do what I can to cheer you up, my friend.

  4. Hey – they are right- he’s in there.
    (Are the neighbor kids selling tickets to stare at you on the porch yet?…not saying you’re a freak-ish show – just bored kids are easily amused…especially if they can throw things without worry you’ll catch them – they love it when you yell back, right?
    Feeling like that Alfred Hitchcock movie Rear Window yet? (give it time…)
    Hey, don’t they say great writers all have to suffer? (Does it have to be this bad? Oh, well, it will look good on that best seller’s book jacket. Adversity rocks…they keep trying to sell that concept…)
    Glad to hear so noise over here.
    (give up the notebook – just type. You get used to it and it’s more legible…saves time)
    We’ll wait the next summons..and progress report.
    Rainbows and unicorns to ya’ (Heard that snort)

  5. REDdog says:

    It’s a bummer being laid up, Robert, and I’m hearin’ you on feeling like a dumbass for how you got into this but in 6 months time it’ll all just be blog fodder, mate, a mere memory. Hang in there Cobber.

  6. Jennifer says:

    You know me, not a dredge of sympathy at all, but after some time, it’s gotta wear real thin. Especially when you can’t do anything but sit and grumble, or crawl to the loo.
    Can’t wait for the usual witticisms to return 🙂

  7. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Ugh, sorry dear ol’ buddy.

    Yeah, mostly useless comment here, just know you are still in my thoughts. ((hugs))

  8. Hang in there, Hook. You’ll be able to laugh or shake your head at this period of struggle soon enough. Let me know if I can help somehow. I can maybe send you some hot dog buns on my cop salary, but it’s something!

  9. Why is it time marches forward when you’re in the pink but drags it’s a$$ any way it can when you’re not.
    Sounds like you’re getting antsy. Glad to hear you’re settled on a writing project. Quit the pen and go straight to the laptop. Takes a while but when push comes to shove, you’ll get used to it.
    Better days soon. S-o-o-n. 😮

  10. Jo Bryant says:

    Hmmm…not a great period at the moment, but it too shall pass Hook.

  11. We’ll wait for the hook. Right now Robert needs to keep writing this stuff down.

  12. I feel your pain….I was having the same writing trouble until recently. I took a leap of faith and it changed my trajectory. I hope all goes well for you, my friend. This, too, shall pass. xx

  13. Nadia says:

    Hookey, I’m so happy to see you posting, even though you feel out of sorts. Hope this period passes soon…and that you have a Netflix subscription. Much love x

  14. 1jaded1 says:

    Do you really write pen to paper? Curious mind wants to know. Take care and thank you for posting. No offense to others but I love reading you…

  15. Good to hear from you!

  16. Sometimes, if there’s a long wait for a table in a restaurant I ask the hostess, “Do you know who I am!” Of course she says, “No.” I tell her I’m nobody but always wanted to say that. It almost always gets a laugh.

    Sucks that you away. Sucks that you’re still on the mend. If you have an iPhone, the voice recognition software is pretty good. Speak at a moderate pace and clearly and everything will be typed out for you. It’s an option.

  17. Do you have sisters? Sisters can really step up the misery/recovery a lot. When I was incapacitated and learning to walk again ( I was in my late 30sand they were older) they thought it was the funniest thing to take me out for a walk (using a walker) and stand way down the street and yell, “Run Forest, run!” at the top of their lungs.
    Feel better, My Friend…I lost track of the names…

  18. Love the title! Well, as you see, we are all here waiting for you to …GET BACK!!! 😉

  19. Doug in Oakland says:

    I had a hard time transcribing from my journals to my computer also. When I write with a pen, it’s like I get to make up the font as I go, and without that it loses something. Some of it was still worth it, though. Glad that you’re at least feeling well enough to post here, as I enjoy reading it.

  20. alexraphael says:

    Get better soon 🙂

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