5×5 With The Hook: Sean Smithson.

And the beefcake carnival continues…

He’s a man who knows what he wants (and who), and he’s more than happy to tell you all about it on his blog, The Office Inbetweener, from which he has launched a campaign to conquer the hearts, minds, and other body parts of the world’s female population.

(Personally, I think he’s got a good shot at doing it, too.)

He is Seam Smithson. He is a man of few words (real men always are). He is an author. He is here for your reading pleasure. He is also a forward-thinker, and as such, he has limited the number of visual representations of his form that he releases to the masses. (You never know what the future holds, kids, so be mindful of what you put on the web.) Here is a glimpse, though…


Looking for answers in Rio (Carnival '13)

By the way, the above pic was Sean’s official photo entry in the “Be The Hook’s Sidekick For A Day” contest. Here’s a glimpse of his book:


Buy it now HERE and your life will never be the same.

Here’s a quick sample of the mind behind the words…

Brutally honest and remarkably daring, How to Lose a Girl in 10 Ways is the account of Sean Smithson and the embarrassing situations he encountered in his quest to pick-up women over the years. An unassuming tax adviser in London’s financial district by day and an outrageous flirt by night, he amassed quite a few stories in his pursuit of the fairer sex during his 20s, and candidly confesses to 10 of his most epic fails; whether it was with colleagues, perfect strangers or even escorts.

This revealing account has a sincere tone that will certainly invite a varied readership, with stories that would sit comfortably in both men’s and women’s magazines, though perhaps for different reasons. The insight into the male psyche goes far beyond the problem pages with some very awkward situations. Men can empathize with the writer and ‘may’ even have found themselves in similar situations, whereas women are always intrigued by the inner workings of the male species. But regardless of what side of the fence you sit on, the author’s self-deprecating and humorous tone should ensure that you walk away laughing. It could be at him or with him – but that’s something the reader should decide.

Sean Smithson’s content and writing style have drawn initial comparisons to Neil Strauss and Tucker Max, but rather than celebrate his womanizing ways, he acknowledges the flaws in his character and seeks to entertain readers by poking fun at them. Married, divorced, single or in a relationship, this book will be enjoyed by anyone intrigued by the inner workings of a player.

As for the blog that started it all, here are a few samples for your amusement.

And now, on with today’s presentation.

1) The vast majority of our collective readership is female so let’s concentrate on the ladies, shall we? In your experienced opinion, what’s the best thing about the female of the species, Sean?


They’re not the male.

(Told you he’s a man of few words.)

2) What is a perfect day for Sean Smithson?

Any day with a lot of laughter. But if I got lucky at the end of it, that would make it extra special.

On second thoughts, waking up on the couch with one hand down my pants and the other in a bucket of KFC would be equally satisfying.


Or if you’re Obama, you can have it all

3) Do you wear licensed t-shirts (superheroes, rock stars), buddy?

Very occasionally. I usually prefer to walk around topless. (Hook told me to say this!)

5x5 pic

How I imagine I look to
the outside world when I take a selfie

4) Your favorite flavor of milkshakes is…


The one that brings all the boys to the yard.

5) If you could go on a date with any female (living/dead or real/fictional), who would you choose?

Man, that fictional option has really thrown a spanner in the works… I was originally going to say Elizabeth Banks as she is the perfect combination of cute, hot, smart, kind, funny and sexy.

Though I also have soft spots for

  • Zoe Saldana.
  • Alana de la Garza, Chris Hemsworth’s wife.
  • My French teacher from primary/elementary school.
  • A former colleague who I’ve now found out is single.
  • This Canadian girl who I met whilst traveling through East Africa – I didn’t have the balls to speak to her until our last night by which point it was too late as another guy (who wasn’t a complete pussy) ended up hooking up with her.
  • Molly.
  • La La.
  • Emily.
  • Samara.
  • A girl who smiled at me on the tube on Monday.

But I’d happily trade any of them for a chance to motorboat Jessica Rabbit!

 “Hey Hook, is it me or does Jessica Rabbit look kind of like Aussa?”

(I’m not touching that one, Sean. Aussa has a mean left me.)


On that gravity-defying note, kids, I’m going to wrap things up by thanking Sean Smithson for being so cool and generous with his answers and time. He may be a world-class horndog, but he’s also a righteous dude and an honorable man.

See you in the lobby, folks…


About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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47 Responses to 5×5 With The Hook: Sean Smithson.

  1. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Another blog that I follow! I feel ahead of the trend now. Well chosen, Hook!

  2. TJLubrano says:

    This was such a fun 5×5, ha ha. And I love Jessica Rabbit (I totally see Aussa in her! Now if we could transform Jess into a ninja, we’re all set!)

    • I know, right? I’m glad she took it the right way or things could have gotten awkward… And as for the 5×5, glad it made you smile. But the credit must go to our host for those questions.

  3. V says:

    Brilliant 5×5. Can’t wait to read Sean’s memoirs. Can I call them memoirs, Sean, Hook? It sounds so fancy and sophisticated.

  4. Steph says:

    Good one! Every time I read Sean’s blog, I am equal parts appalled and entertained. (Both compliments, btw.)

  5. Aussa Lorens says:

    Hahahaha oh my gosh! I opened this earlier, made it through the book snippet and then had to answer the phone and failed to make it to the motorboat related shoutout! Thanks for that hahahahahaha Oh my LORD!

  6. samara says:

    Sean, you sexy beast!
    I’m honored to be one of your “soft spots” (wait, is this an honor??)
    And what good company! Zoe Saldana, Molly, a random girl in the tube?

    Great interview, both of you. Sean, you made my morning! Muah!

  7. Jolene says:

    Sean has a book!! going to have to see if it’s available through Barnes and Noble!! *good job Sean* I think I should have saved reading this for later, I was laughing so hard at the question and answer part of this blog that a few co-workers passed my office and checked to see if I was ok!! haha

    • Thank you Jolene. And Hook for the shameless promotion! Unfortunately it’s only available through Amazon and the Book Depository. For now. But once the eBook is ready (I’m trying to iron out kinks as we speak), I believe it should be available from a much wider range of online stores.

      As for the Q&A section of this post; I’m pleased it made you laugh so much. Though the thanks must go to our host for such probing questions! And to Google Images of course.

  8. Thank you for delivering more Beefcake, Hook! Loved the snippet you printed from Sean’s book and am eager to hop over to his site. And yes, Jessica and Aussa must be sisters (which sounds like something that would fit into a Sean Scenario!)
    Thanks for another great intro to a talented blogger. More folks on my long list to read!

  9. I feel a bit like a voyeur reading these comments.

  10. Jennie Saia says:

    So… that sidekick photo.. is that really you? If so, 5x5s have just gotten much more tantalizing. Viva la beefcake!

    • Ha. Thanks Jennie, you’ve certainly made me blush. It’s definitely me; it was taken at Rio Carnival last year.

      Of course these days I leave the mask and glitter at home. Usually…

  11. Trent Lewin says:

    One of my faves, a great guy and a fantastic writer who keeps me coming back for more – although Smithson, what gives, toss us a post would you?

  12. REDdog says:

    Nice one Sean, you do us blokes proud…so you wanna motorboat Aussa?

  13. Sharn says:

    hahahaha Well done Sean! 😀

    I love how it’s gone from you motorboating Jessica Rabbit to you motorboating Aussa!!

  14. Ah the glorious Mr Smithson, how we love him. Great choice 🙂

  15. snarkysnatch says:

    Sean is a yummy talented writing force. I have been a fan of his from the first time I came across his blog. His wit can make a girl melt like a green M&M. Edible but spreadable. I have no doubt we will be hearing much about Sean in the near future.

  16. Jo Bryant says:

    So many different bloggers to check out…but I do miss you on here Hook.

    • Yeah, I did go a little overboard with the links, sorry… And don’t worry as Hook is dropping part 2 of HIS 5×5 later this week, right, bud?

      • Jo Bryant says:

        Oh I love links.
        And it is great getting to meet new bloggers. But yes…I do miss the Hook and his twisted sense of humor on these pages at times.

        Hey, Hook… how did the missus cope with the ending of The Vampire Diaries??? I am in shock. I bet she is NOT happy.

      • The Hook says:

        Yep, Part two of my 5×5 runs tomorrow, in fact.
        But Jo is right, I haven’t been sharing my misadventures of late. To be honest, between living those adventures, being a dad/husband and toiling away slowly on some side projects, there’s been no time to blog!
        But I’ll be back – eventually.

        As for The Vampire Diaries season finale?
        You’re right, Jo, VampireLover is ticked!

  17. Caroline says:

    Look at all the glitter in that photo, ha! Very cool to hear about Sean, he sounds like a witty one.

  18. curvyroads says:

    Finally, more beefcake, and I already knew how funny Sean was…but so glad for the reminder. This exchange had me giggling like a school girl! Nice work, gentlemen!

  19. girlseule says:

    I reckon Sean’s blog is one of the funniest I have read, looking forward to the book

  20. Pingback: A Taste of Summer Lovin: Like The Dicks Of Ten Thousand Lonely Truck Drivers | snarkysnatch

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