5×5 With The Hook: Britt of Blooms and Bubbles. (it’s still East Meets Breast…)

To be honest, folks, I’m not sure I can do today’s guest justice. It’s that simple.

Britt Lee is many things:

  • Achingly gorgeous. (Seriously, my wife was standing over my shoulder the first time I saw Britt’s image on my laptop and when I commented on her beauty, my wife hit me in the back of the head with a frying pan. And it ached. True story.)
  • Spit-your-milk-out hilarious.
  • A wonderful mom that every other child envies and a loving wife that makes dad impose a 5 pm bedtime so the kids hit the hay early, leaving the night open for unspeakable acts involving frosting and light bondage.
  • Beyond brave and insightful.
  • Eager to share.  (I’m referring to her stories and wisdom, of course! Perverts.)
  • A survivor.

And she tells the story of Britt better than anyone. So do us both a favor and click on the link below, and then come back and we’ll continue.

About Britt

Have you gone yet?

Are you still here?

Are you back? Oh, good, I was getting nervous. Let’s continue shall we?

Here’s a little pic to set the mood…

The Family Lee at our silly best

1) In your opinion, Britt, why do events like this year’s Boston Marathon resonate so strongly in our collective unconscious? (We’ll get to the wacky stuff soon, I promise.)

   These moments resonate because they are pure.

   There is a unanimous, unavoidable, unmistakable feel-goodness about our Marathon, in particular, because we’re all craving this sort of connection. Every day we are lured into a more dubious collective unconscious during the coffee breaks of our social media saturated lives. Those angry/bitter/funny memes, a co-blogger’s hilariously grumpy rant, another opinion from your politically un-shut-up-able Facebook friend—these lasso us into The Conversation, where unfortunately we often find ourselves fondling different bits of the elephant.

   But the Boston Marathon? We’re all looking in the same direction there. We’re watching survivors, and heroes, and ordinary folk who decide maybe they can run 26.5 fucking miles … and then they do that. And it’s kind of a relief for all of us to look in the same direction for a spell, even if it’s only just for one moment on a pretty, Spring day.

2) In our world of “I want it NOW!”, is foreplay dead?

   When I hear “foreplay,” I think of high school and boys with all of their aching urgency. Happily married sex (though happy) is tinged with “Are-the-kids-awake?” and “I-forgot-to-buy-broccoli!”, distractions that tend to scoot us right past the first bases.

   But those couch fumblings in the basement wondering if Mom is going to walk in, groping and hoping but never actually advancing to anything reportable in the confessional… do kids do that anymore? Have we become a culture that wants everything via Amazon Prime, including intimacy? Probably. Remember how it took, like, a thousand seasons of Cheers for Sam and Diane to hook up? Now our favorite TV characters are coupling up faster than you can say, “Oh my God, did she just reference Cheers?”

   I have no blossoming teens at my disposal to embarrass with a query about the death of foreplay. Twitter leads me to believe that youngsters think pizza is foreplay, and then they have really, really naughty sex with strangers or devices.

   (I may need to start following a different crowd on Twitter.)

   It’s entirely possible that the closest thing to foreplay now is waiting for the next installment of Game of Thrones. That’s an aching urgency for sure. One week is a cruel, ascetic exercise in delayed gratification to see Daenerys Targaryen and her dragons.

3) Please share a memory inspired by your favorite pair of shoes.

   Girls with one favorite pair… who are those mythical creatures?

   My prettiest pumps presently, or t-straps from my twenties? Favorite stiletto, or decadently comfy sparkly flat? The ones Mom wouldn’t let me buy, or the ones that cost more than a car payment? I could narrate any number of memories that began in lovely stems and ended with them kicked off in the corner of someplace unexpected.

   But you asked, so here’s a little ditty. I once had a particularly delightful pair of bright coral platform heels. They were very, very cool. They (almost) made me cool. They made my jeans look funky, my dresses look retro, and my ass look fantastic. Granted, it was a younger ass.

   One night, I wore these magic heels to dinner with my in-laws and some distant cousins who were in town visiting from Taiwan. Most of the evening’s conversation was in Mandarin, but one of Bernie’s relatives was an adorable girl who couldn’t stop complimenting my shoes in enthusiastic English: “Where’d you get them?”, “Are they comfortable?”, “Were they expensive?”, I really want them!”

   At the end of the evening, I slipped them off and insisted she try them on. And then when they fit, I refused their return against all protests and had Bernie piggyback me to the car.

   I loved those shoes, so to me, it felt like a grand mitzvah to give them away to someone who loved them more. As we drove away, I was beaming with my big-hearted, bare-footed generosity, so happy to have made this unorthodox gesture of goodness. Only then did my darling husband inform me of the lesser-known Taiwanese no-gift-shoe custom. Apparently, giving someone shoes is akin to telling them to take a literal hike. And also, like many, many things in Taiwanese culture… it’s bad luck. Beaming, big-hearted moment busted.

   Now I wonder if she ever wore those bad-luck shoes? Whatever. They were kind of pinchy anyway.

4) Your favorite X-Man is…

   Mystique. She’s hot. She’s blue. She can be anyone… but she’s also Jennifer Lawrence. I’ll admit to Googling X-man characters (sorry, Hook). But I will always choose looking like Jennifer Lawrence; and it’s entirely possible I’ve watched Silver Linings Playbook more times than you have watched X-Men. I’m always reading the signs. And all hors d’oeuvres in this house are crabby snacks and homemades.

5) If you could retire anywhere, in any time period, where would you wind up living out your days?

   Because my life has been tainted with cancer–the kind that doesn’t boast a cure or remission — daydreaming about “retirement years” seems jinxy. I live with the best guy and his teeny smart and hilarious clones.

   This is where I want to be. Right here.

   Should we fall on the lucky slope of the curve, it would be lovely to live out our days seaside, where friends stop by with steaks and Processo, and nights are filled with reminiscing and giggles. But we do that now, even without the sand, surf, and sunsets that prove that even if you don’t think God exists, there’s something truly fabulous out there… something pure… something that has all of us looking in the same direction.

I’d be a fool to try to follow that ending. Thank you, Britt.

See you in the lobby, kids…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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37 Responses to 5×5 With The Hook: Britt of Blooms and Bubbles. (it’s still East Meets Breast…)

  1. rachelocal says:

    Off to follow Britt! Thanks for the introduction.

    • Britt says:

      Following you right back, pretty girl. I grew up near Longwood Gardens (and I’m a Master Gardener, too)! Gorgeous photos. It’s not quite Spring here in Boston, but these pics give me hope…

      • rachelocal says:

        Thanks, Britt!

        I grew up just South of Boston. Massachusetts is one of my favorite places on earth and I hope to move back one day – despite the cold, cold winters. At least the summers are GLORIOUS.

  2. The intro sucked me in …and then Britt captivated me. Thanks for help in me find another good blog to follow, Hook!

  3. Pingback: A Quintet of Questions with The Hook | Blooms and Bubbles

  4. Paul says:

    Thanks for the intro Hook. Britt is an interesting character – I’ll be exploring and following her site.

    • Britt says:

      Hello, fellow “survivor.” Do you sort of loathe that title, too? It’s more of a veteran type thing with the constant fear of being sucked back into active duty. Thanks for these lovely words, Paul.

      • Paul says:

        There are a lot of social responses/demands wrt cancer that I loathe. Honestly I only started calling my self a “survivor” about a year ago – my first day back to work post-cancer was about 10 years ago. The reasons are complex. First, you and I both know that statistically the most common characteristic shared by cancer parients is that they had cancer previously. If you “survive” a ship sinking, it’s over and done with and unless you get on another ship, you do not have to be re-exposed to the risk. Not so cancer. The risk follows you. It seemed like tempting fate to call myself a “survivor” when the ship hadn’t docked yet. The second reason was the lack of need to self-identify. Anyone who labels themselves a survivor is buying into the belief that survivors are different than the general population – again, no need to tempt fate or be considered different. The third reason is that self-identifying enables sympathy, an emotional response that I do not need, want or desire to fight against – even with myself. It’s too easy to fall into the “poor me” syndrome that goes along with sympathy. It all sucks. Even now I use the word sparingly, only when I want to shut someone up or end an argument of which I’m tired, or gain an advantage in some life pissing “contest” like “you don’t know what it feels like”. I’m a cancer survivor so shut the fuck up. Ha! Works everytime. No one wants to talk openly about cancer because they don’t want to know that it could be them tomorrow. And yet everyone has a morbid fascination about the topic – kind of like they know it’s bad for them, but they can’t help themselves : like rubber neckers at an accident.

        Anyway, I can be a bit verbose, so I’ll call it quits here. There is a huge amount of feelings/information to be discussed around this topic, but that can wait for another day. Thanks for your post Michelle, it always helps me to see iohers who have rebounded to live full healthy lives.

      • But your verbosity is never rambling. It’s always razor-sharp commentary.

  5. Your Britt is a pretty impressive lady. I’ve just lost my morning reading her stuff. Thanks for pointing her out.

    • Britt says:

      Thanks for wasting a morning with me! Now I want to install a second mailbox so I can put all sorts of flowers in the other one. Delightful! We had a milkman until I was in kindergarten… and remember the Charlie’s Chip guy? Why did we need potato chips delivered? No idea. But it was like Christmas when that truck pulled up.

  6. Great profile. Almost impossible not to want more. Thanks

  7. Well, I’m in love (in a decent and proper way). Great find, Hook; Britt, honoured to make your acquaintance.

    • Britt says:

      Honored-without-the-“u”, right back atcha. I think I could learn oodles from you… like maybe if I could think of an awesome pseudonym, I could go back to making fun of my in-laws. (Kidding. I love them. Love love love them…decently and properly.)

      • Now I am laughing. You’re the first person to comment on my north-of-the-border spelling. I love my present in-laws and do try to speak civilly of my former in-laws. Besides, being a self-appointed, modern-day Gandalf riding on a righteous white stallion in defence against the evil feminist orc Matriarchal armies, I would never stoop to making fun of anyone.

        *Nav wonders why his nose has suddenly started growing?*

  8. Dawn says:

    Oh this was fabulous. I loved getting to know a few new pieces about you. And the shoe story was perfect…how have you not written about that before? I’m so happy you were “hooked” up. (ha ha) 🙂 You are one intelligent, hilarious, insightful woman and deserve to be featured.

    • Britt says:

      Being Hooked is like a fun little birthday… only the guests are strangers, and the gifts are words. I hadn’t thought about those shoes for years! Maybe the Hook should be writing Daily Prompts…

  9. Marie says:

    Love that you would choose the present with the same whole hearted mindfulness you would give away a favorite pair of shoes in recognition of another’s joy. Perfect!

  10. Love the shoe story. Too bad you weren’t informed b.e.f.o.r.e. you gave them away. Oh, that’s right. They were a little pinchy anyway…
    Wonderful interview. You’re a clever and interesting lady. 😉

    • Britt says:

      Thank you so much! I liked reading about your writing process. Sometimes the real reason for writing a post doesn’t hit me until I’ve revisited it on another day. xoxo

      • I don’t trust anything I write the first time around because I know there’s so much more I can add if I wait. Of course, I’m late at the table and trying to catch up. Maybe my brain is slower too. 🙂

  11. Jennie Saia says:

    My takeaway is that photos of Daenerys = foreplay.

    Got it.

  12. The Guat says:

    This was a very cool bio. I had never run into Britt’s blog before, but I got to say that after your profile I’m definitely going to check it out. Very cool shoe story 🙂

  13. Silver Linings Playbook is a nearly perfect movie. My wife and I have mentally ill people in our lives and the depiction–the repeated platitudes, the hyper-focus, the vacant look in their eyes–is so true to life and so accurate that it’s spooky. Too bad about Robert De Niro’s weepy father routine. Travis Bickle doesn’t cry! Jake LaMotta doesn’t cry! Fail.

    I’m sorry…what was the question?

  14. Steve Safran says:

    I. too, am often described as “Achingly Beautiful.” At least, when standing nowhere near Britt. Also, this never happens.

  15. Yay for Britt and the Hook uniting, or hooking, and interviewing. Huzzah! *throws confetti* *

  16. Being “Hooked” really is a privilege for the rest of us! So glad he found you and introduced you to us. I have a very dear friend going through extremely aggressive chemo right now…….and we still do not have a prognosis 😦
    I love reading about your strength and the realness of your walk…..and your laughter through it all! Hook really is awesome at finding such perfect people to have 5×5. So nice to meetcha Britt! 🙂

    • Britt says:

      Oh Courtney, I’m sorry to hear that. Chemo is awful. It’s just fucking awful. It also works for many many many of us. And for those of so inclined, so does prayer. And wine. And salted caramels. And really soft blankets. And good friends, like you.

      I’ll find her in my prayers as “Courtney’s friend” and send cosmic beams of good juju her way. Thanks for these kind words.


      • Thanks Britt…would so appreciate that! Can use all the prayer we can get!! And your welcome….love my blog friends. Everyone shows the real side. That is important. I try to live my life as authentic as I can and present only the real me (even though there are diff sides) but never fake. Thanks for showing us part of you 🙂

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