Our guest today is suffering from a form of performance anxiety.
“To be honest I have been reading a lot of the other 5×5’s and feeling a bit intimidated by how clever and funny everyone is, when I am neither.”
Girl Seule needs to see herself as I do. She is a master of self-deprecating humor:
“I’m the girl men love to drink with and party with and sleep with in between real girlfriends. I stumble from one to another, often slightly intoxicated, like a 30 something teenager.”
She is self-aware:
“There is more to me than being crap at finding a boyfriend. I’m also a world traveller, student, feminist, lover of YouTube, aspiring writer, aspiring stand-up comic and occasional trashbag.”
She’s genuinely entertaining:
And gosh darn it, people like her. And she takes a damn good profile pic…
And right now, she belongs to all of us. So let’s enjoy her greatness, shall we?
1) Imagine you have a global audience: If you could tell the world one joke, what would it be?
I get all nervy and sweaty talking to an audience of five, so if I had to tell a joke to the world I think I would burst into tears then go and hide somewhere. Anyway here goes.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
(I liked it. Old school, clean humor always busts my gut.)
2) You consider yourself a sassy ‘n sexy gal, right? What does your most “Hot girlie” outfit consist of?
I aim for ‘sassy ‘n sexy’ but I tend to land somewhere closer to ‘trashy ‘n tragic’. If I am making an attempt to get my sexy on, I’ll probably put on my little black dress. An oldie but a goodie, the dark color has the added advantage of camouflaging the wine or beer I usually spill on myself at some point during the night. I try and add to the sexy by wearing heels, but tend to end up drunk and barefoot. I have been kicked out of many pubs for taking my shoes off. If bouncers had to wear heels, I am sure they would show me more compassion.
3) What is your most inspiring memory?
When I was 13 I had open-heart surgery, I’m all good, as far as open-heart surgeries go, mine was one of the simpler ones. Anyway I remember laying in bed watching the nurses and thinking, “hmmm maybe I would like to be a nurse”.
Nine years later I graduated from uni with a BA Nursing. At times my job can be hellishly awful but it has also been wonderful. I don’t think I would have thought to become a nurse if I hadn’t had heart surgery so it’s a good reminder that shit things can lead to good things.
4) Being unattached often gets a bad rap. What is the best thing about being single?
Most of my adult life I have been a bit of a nomad and I don’t know how easy that would have been if I had to factor in another person and what they wanted to do. I have lived in diverse places from big cities like London to a remote community in The Outback and I have done lots of traveling in between. In June I am going off to India and Nepal for five months and I don’t have to worry about fitting that around someone else’s life. On the flip side it would be wonderful to make plans with me, so if you are single and a bit of a wandering vagabond like myself, send me an email or something.
5) Which character from Seinfeld do you most resemble? (Yes, I was being completely serious when I said these would be the most random questions ever.)
Sooo the Seinfield character I most resemble would have to be Kramer. We are both always coming up with weird plans that we never stick to, we both have fluffy hair we are both clumsy.
I get called Cyclone Evie by some of my friends because everywhere I go I knock things over and make a mess, just like Kramer.
Who doesn’t love Cosmo Kramer. right? I don’t know about you lot, but I think G.S. did a fine job of being both clever and funny in five easy questions. (I can call her G.S., ’cause you know, we’re so tight.)
I want to thank my guest for making this a wonderful blogrific day. Your rock, G.S.
See you in the lobby, kids…