You’ll never read anyone like her. Period.
That’s not hyperbole, friends, but a statement of fact. The truth is, in a rare instance of social weakness, I am at a loss for words.
Mediocrity has enveloped our world on every level, but Phil’s work is on another level entirely. Give her a few minutes of your time and she’ll give you something people covet and hunger for: a wholly original and enlightening perspective on the world around you.
What can I possibly say about such a gifted, generous, ridiculously intelligent blogger and human being that will prove worthy of her growing legend? Phil is an amazing writer with a voice all her own and style that cannot be duplicated.
But today, my friends, that voice and style are on loan for all of us to enjoy. So let’s get to it, shall we? Incidentally, Phil is guarded when it comes to her privacy (understandably so), and so RC Cat has graciously allowed me to use her image. (Cats are the best, aren’t they?)
1) How does a philosopher cut loose? How do you crawl out from under the pressures of society/civility and go nuts?
Rollerblading has been rather difficult with all the winter’s rain and mud.. And Molly the Malamute must be a English as a Second language student. She apparently thinks “Noooo, stop! Stop” means run as fast as possible in evasive routes. Or she’s rediscovered her roots as a sled dog.
(Yes, in some cases, helmets and elbow pads are advisable.) While some feel dogs and kids keep you grounded and reveal the important things in life, it seems the same is truth for endless shrimp. Bubba’s Shrimp Palace. Wear your flip flops and yard work clothes – no one cares. Put your feet up in the chairs. Big back porch with view of the bay with no one rushing you to leave. Yep, rain or shine, friends, a huge sand pit way way over there for any kids, beer, and endless shrimp – best refresher around.
2) Your favorite Marx Brother was…
The Marx Brothers – seriously high quality work! Not surprised you’re a fan.
Harpo is pure genius: never got pushing into talking when he didn’t want to. Kept his cool. Did his own thing. (He actually played numerous instruments, including the harp.) Who couldn’t love that I Love Lucy red hair? (OK we know it was a wig, but he picked it!). Early adopter of “better to be thought a fool than to open mouth and remove all doubt” and “Actions speak louder than words”. But still someone who could laugh at himself and had a sense of humor. His book is an interesting read, too. Silently golden, Harpo.
3) If you could instill one change to the world wide web, what would it be?
The control of the World Wide Web needs to be handed over to Homer Simpson. He would not only bring to it the attention he gives to his job at the nuclear plant, but also when things got difficult…or he got hungry, he’d quickly hand it over to Lisa.
Lisa, while young, has a strong sense of fairness and of right and wrong. She may make mistakes, but not intentionally, learns quickly, admits mistakes and tries to fix them. Bart keeps her on her toes. Maggie reminds her of that those younger depending on her to hand them a world in good shape. Marge is there with common sense and constant support. I’d trust Homer and Lisa to manage the web and keep it free.
4) Which childhood snack still makes your mouth water?
Snacks? What are those? There were plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables and farmed-raised grass-fed beef, but very few snacks (expensive and unhealthy). For years I couldn’t face apples or carrot sticks. As kids, we ranged blocks on Halloween and hoarded the candy.
But a couple of times a year we’d go downtown to one of those elegant movie theaters with the velvet curtains and mythology painted on the walls for a matinee show. Afterwards we’d go to James Coney Island. The old brick two story place was extremely popular with office workers and always crowded….mobbed more like it – as the hot dogs were cheap cheap cheap. The available seating was old beat-up dark brown wooden college chairs with the side arm supporting a small top. There was a balcony where you could watch someone in your group move along the silver trailway with a tray while you fought off those wanting your seats. Then your steaming chili cheese hot dog would arrive: smothered in thick spicy chili, a mountain of shredded cheese holding a blanket of soft onions onto the soft bun. The onions were special – rumors were that they soaked them overnight before cooking. We always ate after the movie. It was messy.
James Coney Island was so successful they did expand and the few branches were good, too. With drive-in window so you could go by on those miserable wet winter days and take chili hot dogs home for dinner – smelling that spicy chili all the way (didn’t dare attempt to eat those in the car). The chain was sold and sold again. Then they started serving hamburgers, baked potatoes, and salads. The name may be the same, but not the cheese chili hot dogs: the hot dogs are all wrong, the chili runny. Just tearful to think of it. Those were the best lunches ever.
5) If you could communicate with a single animal/pet, what would you say?
“Noooooo, Molly. Noooo means stop! Why are you eating the house? There’s food here. There’s a back door which is constantly opening. No need to eat a hole in the wall. We’ll forgive the window sills, if you’ll stop. Noooo, please don’t eat the floor mats. Nooo, please fireplace stone is not for eating. Noooo, We’ll open the blinds for you – no need to eat the knobs off the strings. Did the cat tell you to do that? We’ve noticed she’s smiling a lot. Please don’t listen to her!”
(For all those those who don’t know, Molly is an terribly abused rescue who has been through and returned from three homes that we know of…This is her last hope…and we are officially nuts. We’ve had tough cases before, but this one….Really, she’s fine – come a long way. Angelic when exhausted or asleep. We are nuts, though, no doubt.)
Nuts? Far from it, my friend!
I hope Phil has touched your heart as she has mine. I have nothing more of value to add, so this is where we part ways until our next meeting.
See you in the lobby, friends…