5×5 With The Hook: Single Girlie.

Her name is a good start but she’s much more that a pretty gravatar and a clever monicker. Yes, it's me

Her cyber-pad is:

  • Smart. (There are millions of blogs out there that focus on the sex lives of their authors, but only a rare few are written by individuals who are truly intelligent enough to recognize the absurdity of the chase itself.)
  • Sexy.  (She really is the gal every guy wants to date and every girl wants to be. Period.)
  • Sophisticated.  (Single Girlie knows the ins and outs of blogging as well as she knows the ins and outs – and her work reflects that. This isn’t your neighbor’s dating blog, kids.)

Still not convinced she’ll rock your world from cyberspace? Click on the link below and you’ll be an instant convert.

Why I Slept With a Douchebag

The title alone is worth the price of admission, no? But enough of the foreplay, let’s get to the main event. (Spoken like true a guy, right?)

1)  What is the most random, oddball thought/image that has ran through your mind during coitus?

   Hmm. When I’m coitusing I’m generally very in the moment and thinking about the coitus. I tend not to think about oddball un-coitusy things like animatronic rats or corn or whatever. If it’s good coitus I’m thinking about how awesome it feels. If it’s bad coitus, well, I kinda focus on getting the guy off right away so it can be over. Or I’ll think about Mark Wahlberg if there’s no way out.

2)  If you could live a single day with a long-lost loved one, who would you choose?

   Probably my maternal grandparents, who died long before I was born. They lived in a different country and I would love to visit and get to know them. Okay, jumping from sex to dead grandparents was weird.

(Welcome to You’ve Been Hooked!)

3)  Your favorite article of clothing (past or present) is…

   I had this hot pink mini-dress that I wore for Halloween once. I dressed up as a 60s go-go dancer and wore it with these white plastic boots. It was awesome and polyester and perfect and I wound up giving it to Goodwill and it is one of my greatest regrets in life.

THIS ISN’T SINGLE GIRLIE, BUT WHO CARES, RIGHT?

4)  If I was able to bestow magic powers upon you – other than those you already possess – what would you do with ’em?

   Are you freaking kidding me?

   Let’s see… First I’d find Jason Bateman and make him fall head over heels in love with me and we’d get married and have babies and be blissfully happy for the rest of our days.

   Of course, he’s married now, so I’d make sure his wife simultaneously found an incredible man who she matches with better than Jason, so we’ll all be super cool with how things turned out.

   And I’d make sure my parents are perfect and healthy. And then I’d make Random House or someone give me a book deal.

   Then after the selfish stuff, I’d make world peace happen. And end hunger. And homelessness. And animal testing. And intolerance. And comb-overs.

    Basically, everyone will be crazy fucking happy forever. God, I wish you were able to bestow magic powers upon me.

(So do I! Especially now that I realize you’d use them for good!)

5)  What is your favorite variety of pickle?  (Stop giggling, everyone! These are serious queries designed to probe a guest’s subconscious and reveal their true self, so focus!)

   Um, aren’t there just two? Dill and sweet? When I was a kid I loved sweet pickles. But not so much now. So I guess dill. If there are additional pickle varieties I am not hip to, please do clue me in. I’d hate to be missing out.

(Just click here to go to the Pickle Glossary and be amazed!)

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Well, I’d be a fool to try and follow a class act like Single Girlie, so I’m out of here.

See you in the lobby, kids…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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49 Responses to 5×5 With The Hook: Single Girlie.

  1. NotAPunkRocker says:

    I like the fact that she looks out for Jason’s ex by wishing her a new love too. Not that I won’t still fight over the right to Mr. Bateman’s heart.

    Adding to my follow list…another good one, Hook!

  2. Trent Lewin says:

    Well, I will love and take any and all love for Jason Bateman. Go Michael Bluth!

  3. Britt says:

    Girlie is fantastic. Her writing is that just right blend of hilarious and honest that makes you sort of loathe her for being so fucking talented before you kinda wish you could belly up somewhere and drink gallons with her. And 5 x 5 gem. Following her now.

  4. Great Interview! Love meeting new bloggers – thanks Hook!

  5. robincoyle says:

    Hook, you are the Oprah Winfrey of blog interviewers. You know how to cut to the chase, sex, and pickles. Bravo.

  6. susielindau says:

    Nice to meet you Single Girlie!
    I’ll check out your blog. Sounds like a lot of fun and sometimes at your expense (dand douchebags) which always makes for fun reading!

  7. Here’s what happens when I try to click over from my office:

    Internet Website Contains Blocked Content

    Do you know what that is? That’s the sign of QUALITY. That means there’s something in there worth READING. I can’t wait ’til I get to an unfiltered environment.

    Why do girls always have to spoil the fantasy by throwing in the “having babies” comment. That’s not part of the fantasy for dudes! That’s not hot! That’s ANTI-fantasy.

    • singlegirlie says:

      FUCK! Someone else told me it was blocked from certain offices as well. WTF? Where in the code does my blog say “NSFW”? Do you work at a church? Grrrrrr!

      And also, bub, this is MY FANTASY and if I wanna have babies with Jason Bateman I’m gonna have them. Maybe I’ll have like 13. We can afford it. We can also afford nannies. Why would I not want to replicate that beautiful, smart, talented DNA and mix it with mine? Shit yeah, buddy. In your fantasy, you can have hot sweaty sex with Eva Mendes or whoever and have a bunch of NOT babies. Up to you.

      MY fantasy. Jason. Babies. Boom.

      • Did you see Juno? Of course you did. Did you see how he reacted to having a baby? Everything he loved in life—his music, all his passions—shoved in a corner in a basement on account of the baby? I get that this is your fantasy and I don’t want to spoil it for you, but that’s what it looks like from Jason’s rear view mirror.

        You should see his new film when it gets out there. He’s mean to kids…but in a funny way.

      • singlegirlie says:

        Beg pardon, but that character from Juno? Was a CHARACTER. The real Jason has been married to the same woman for 11 years and has two kids with her, who he gushes about all the time (when I see him on talk shows anyway). Granted, I don’t know Jason. Maybe he hates kids and it’s all a front. I don’t know.

        What I do know is that some men want the family. A lot of men. And some men, like you, don’t. And that is okay. You don’t have to have a family and if that’s your choice, I ain’t mad at you. Be awesome and childless! It’s totes okay!

        What I don’t buy is men who claim that their choices and views and the choices and views of ALL men. I’d never say that all women want what I want. Because that isn’t the case. We’re all human and want different things. And that’s okay.

        And yup, I saw Bad Words. Fucking brilliant!

      • We’re on the wrong track here. Let’s back up a minute. I have two daughters that I adore. ADORE. Ditto a wife. They have all added to my otherwise idiot existence. Not detracted. Take a look at my blog header. That’s says all you need to know about where my life is. I thought this was all pretend. Like pretending that you might marry Jason Bateman. And me pretending I might actually know what he wants out of life. All so ridiculous. I went with it, albeit, it seems, a bit too far. Okay. As Charles Bukowski would say, “scramble two.”

      • singlegirlie says:

        Oh it is all pretend. Except the part where I marry Jason.

        No harm, no foul, my friend. Peace!

  8. Eva says:

    I was scared to announce my love for Jason Bateman. Now I want to SHOUT IT TO THE WORLD. I just did… awesome.

    If I haven’t been following your site, SG, I apologize. But we can just talk about Jason’s freckles all day, everyday?

    • Did you see his new film Bad Words? It’s in limited release. It’s a black comedy. He plays a not-so-nice person. Directed it, too. Getting good notices.

      Good looking, talented and gobs of cash. Bastard. Kind of the bizzaro-world version of me.

      • Eva says:

        I haven’t seen that and I want to! I just have to make sure my husband has enough levels of Skyrim to play while I see the Jason movie…alone. Hehe…

      • He might like this. It’s pretty dark stuff.

        I had to Google Skyrim. What strange language is this you speak? And, more importantly, do I need to get out more often? Or be younger?

      • Eva says:

        Haha…

        Skyrim is an incredibly awesome PC game that has beautiful imagery, lots of swords, and giant spiders to kill. Our 7 year old and I watch Daddy -O play sometimes. Cool stuff.

      • Eva says:

        You wouldn’t want his world. Too… actually I got nothing. JASON, I LOVE YOU.

      • singlegirlie says:

        Eva – OMG his freckles! I could die! And those eyes! And that hair! OMG. He truly is the perfect man. Cute, smart, funny, talented, rich, family man… LOVE. Swoon.

        And yes, ladies, Bad Words is epidemically funny. He totally played an a-hole but he’s Jason so you love him anyway. Impossible not to. And he directed it too, so he’s not just a pretty face.

        Oh, Jason. I could talk about him all the damn day long.

  9. Jason’s a bit too clean-cut looking for me, so I won’t fight you for him SG. Although…on those occasions where he grows a bit of facial hair…well, best you keep him clean shaven. Craving pickles now.

  10. singlegirlie says:

    Aw, Hookie! I so appreciate the accolades (wow, totally blushing) and the opportunity to be your 5×5 guest of the day. ‘Twas mucho fun.

    (BTW is there supposed to be an image up there under #1 when you talk about boning? I’m getting a broken image thingy.)

    Oh, and thanks for schooling me on the pickles. Who knew there were so many? Who knew sauerkraut was considered a pickle? I feel so ignorant.

  11. singlegirlie says:

    Reblogged this on Single Girl Blogging and commented:
    My friend The Hook asked me some weird questions about sex and magic and pickles and I answered them. Read ’em here…

  12. Chowderhead says:

    Whoa whoa wait! Time out. I’m blowing the whistle. Singlegirlie is actually a carnival worker man living in a van down by the river. 😉

  13. maurnas says:

    I think we all claim we’d use our powers for good. But it doesn’t always work out that way.

  14. singlegirlie says:

    Only those with truly good hearts. Like mine. 😉

  15. Aussa Lorens says:

    Hahahaha! I love that you see to the immediate needs like Jason Bateman and then get on to World Peace. You’re a doll for thinking of his wife.

    • singlegirlie says:

      Ya know, first things first. You gotta be happy yourself before you can make others happy. Or something.

      Honest and for true, one of the most appealing things about Jason is that he has been married to this lady for like 13 years and she is age appropriate – rare in Hollyweird. Of course, I’m one to talk. Whoopsie.

  16. I fondly remember being single. Sort of.

  17. Pingback: Why Jason Bateman Is the Most Perfect Man Alive | Single Girl Blogging

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