The most important element in creating a successful blog – in my not-so-humble-opinion – is identity; you have to release your true “voice” or at the very least, create one that readers will buy into instantly.
Our guest today has a voice that is unmistakeably hers. Actually, she has two. How cool is that? I mean, I write as “The Hook” but that’s me through and through. Helena has created two distinct personalities and she manages them both flawlessly.
Her blog’s “About” page is textbook worthy and worth
ripping off emulating. And to top it all off, she has a Kickstarter campaign underway and if you click here, she’ll tell you all about it while entertaining you, ‘natch.
Her Table O’Contents page is a great place to start if you want to understand Helena the writer. And if you want to more.. well, ask her yourself, will ya? I’ve got guests to serve, household chores to make a mess of and if I have time, comic books to read, so I can’t do everything for you, kids.
1) I’m a hardcore geek through and through so this first question is the product of my nerd mind. Who is more fun to watch onscreen: the hero or the villain?
If we’re talking superheroes, I’m going to have to be a dirty girl and say the hero — ’cause they’re usually wearing skin tight costumes that really don’t leave a lot to the imagination. But usually I’d have to say the villain — if they are written well, and given enough sympathy to make you almost root for them to succeed. (Actually, I often want to see a movie end with everyone losing, rather than the usual happily ever afters Hollywood produces)
2) Where in the landscape of her mind does Helena travel to when she needs to get it from it all?
Like, my mind palace? Wow… good question. I travel to this ice palace, where my breath is recycled special effects from the film Titanic, and alternatively Helena Bonham-Carter or a penguin is waiting for me there, urging me to SLIDE. Oh wait, no, that’s not me, that’s someone else. Me, I retreat in my mind to this little cafe in Mill Valley, California, where waits a perfect cup of coffee and pastries so fresh that the butter’s still wet on them. Mmmm.
3) Pet shaming is ridiculously popular these days. Does your heart swell when you see “cute” animal pics or do you feel like sicking the Humane Society – or a couple of rabid dobermans – on the owners of these members of the animal kingdom?
I’m going to sound sour here, darling, but I’ve never been terribly impressed with what people use the internet for. It’s supposed to be a venue for an exchange of ideas; it has the potential to connect us as a planet like never before. Instead of using it for the betterment of womankind, we share pictures of cats doing silly things and putting illiterate captions beneath them. We use it for pornography and bullying.
So, that’s me being serious, darling… what was your next question?
4) Your favorite Monkee is…
Ah, that would have to be Yorrick, the cute little Capuchin from Y: The Last Man… oh, but of course, you mean Monkee, as in Hey Hey, we’re the…. To be honest, I was never that big a fan… they were like the Fake Beatles. But if I had to choose, I’d say Michael Nesmith, ’cause his mom invented Liquid Paper, which was my first introduction to chemically enhanced dizziness in grade school.
Hey, did you know that famous rocker Stephen Stills (of later Crosby Stills & Nash fame) auditioned for the Monkees, but then dropped out when they told him they wouldn’t be writing their own songs?True story.
Also, David Bowie, nee David Jones, changed his name to Bowie because he didn’t want to be confused with Davey Jones of The Monkees. Also a true story.
Did you also know that I once slept with David Bowie? Not a true story, but oh, my, if only it were…
5) They say you should never play favorites. I say different. Who is your favorite person?
Oh, I have a lot of favorite people, darling. My absolute most favorite person in the whole big beautiful world is the Countess Penelope of Arcadia, no question.
Some of my other favorite people, in no particular order: Spider-man, Jack White, Dr. Seuss, David Bowie, Gary Oldman, the barista at My Dog Joe, Amanda Palmer, Neil Gaiman, Bob Dylan, Andy Warhol, Captain Kirk, Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Beefheart, Morrissey, Cait Blanchett, Kate Heidke-Miller, Katie Sullivan, Katherine Hepburn, Kate Bush, Kate Winslet, Kate Beckinsale — if only for Underworld, Kate Hudson – if only for Almost Famous… and finally, Kate from the Ben Folds Five song, whoever she is….
All right, that about wraps up this latest 5×5 mind-trip. Helena is a real gift, isn’t she? Before I forget – and she kicks my ass nine ways to Sunday – I need to tell about Helena’s literary gift to the masses…
Volume One will be available Spring 2014 — official date TBA
And that’s all for today, folks. See you in the lobby…