5×5 With The Hook: Ned Hickson

This is Ned.

Ned with PRESS card copy 2

This is Ned’s Blog.

Ned is one of those guys you want to gravitate towards when you spot him at a party filled with boring, unhinged, needy people discussing their boring “blah blah blah” lives. Or as I like to call them, my relatives.Trust me, folks, if you see Ned at a party you better plant yourselves right next to him (while respecting whatever personal boundaries he sets, of course), and prepare to smile until your face hurts and your bladder threatens to rupture. But don’t get me wrong, Ned has his serious side…

I was taking no chances; as far as I knew, Canada may have stopped being our ally during my walk home...

Somewhere. Deep, deep, deep down. (Incidentally, click on the pic to see how great Ned is when he really cuts loose.)

Personally, I’ve thanked whoever is pulling the strings up there for introducing me to Ned Hickson. He understands the dynamics of writing to entertain and most of all, he understands failure and how to rise above it. If you’ve ever entertained the possibility of making a career for yourself in the professional scribe biz, click HERE.

And read Ned’s book, will ya, folks? He needs the money.


But enough of this mushy junk, I’ve been overwhelmed these days so I’m going to turn the reins over to my buddy, Ned. But before I do I’d like to thank Ned for channeling the Speed Force and responding so quickly to my call for 5×5 guests. You’re okay in my book, Ned Hickson – regardless of what the background check and blood test revealed…

(Yes, I’m a nerd. Deal with it.)


1) What’s the best thing about being Ned?

Not being Justin Bieber.

And being married to my wife.

I don’t think this is a coincidence.

 2) Pluto: planet status or whiney wanna be?

I think Pluto has ever right to complain. If Kim Kardashian and Daft Punk can be given star status, why not Pluto? And let’s face it: Daft Punk looks like they belong on Pluto anyway. I grew up being told Pluto was a planet. I got an “A” on my 5th grade solar system test because I counted Pluto among the nine planets in our solar system. There’s a precedence, people! And besides, the argument that Pluto isn’t a planet simply because three of them would fit into Uranus is just awkward. It also makes me question what kind of people are making these decisions. And what they’re doing with their free time.

 (And here’s your answer, Ned.)


3) Greatest thing about being Justin Bieber:

That’s like asking me to name the best thing about skydiving when your parachute doesn’t open: All you can do is hope it’s over quickly. Given the current momentum of his celebrity status, I’d say the same applies.


4) How do I prefer my milkshakes: Brooke Shields vanilla or Beyonce’ chocolate?

I’ve always had a thing for Latin women (just ask my Spanish wife), so I’d have to say I’m more of a mocha milkshake kind of guy. Don’t forget the cherry.

 5) William Shatner: Brilliant actor or gas ball?

  • Captain Kirk.
  • T.J. Hooker.
  • Denny Crane.
  • The “Gremlin” episode of The Twilight Zone.

Those priceline.com commercials

Yes, he’s definitely a gas ball. Then again, so is the sun. The Star Trek universe simply wouldn’t be the same without him. I’m not much of a Trekkie but I know that much. 

 And speaking of the universe, I’d like to take this opportunity to be the first to predict the creation of a new black hole just as soon as Justin Bieber finishes collapsing in on himself.

 Maybe then Pluto will get some respect.


Well, I think that went rather well, don’t you? My thanks to Ned for being a stand-up guy, a gifted humorist and an a pal. We need to hit he road now, folks; Ned has work to do..

Everyone has their own process, apparently.

See you in the lobby…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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57 Responses to 5×5 With The Hook: Ned Hickson

  1. The Hook says:

    My thanks to the coolest Ned I know.
    You’re a prince among men, buddy.

  2. NotAPunkRocker says:

    I started following Ned recently, definitely one of my new favorite blogs.

  3. Ned is new in my WP world, but he makes me laugh. Lots of respect for da man. Only thing I can’t shake is that Ned looks like my parole officer. Except my parole officer is a woman. Ewwwwwww…..


  4. denmother says:

    I’m just glad the Canadian maple syrup Ross sent him didn’t kill him. We’ve got enough problems going on up here. Belieb me.

    • Paul says:

      Are you sure we Canadians, sorry strike that – it didn’t get him? That last picture (head on keyboard) looks suspiciously like he was trying to suck the sweet syrup off his thumb when he succumbed. And the fly that landed there definitely indicates something edible was still on his hand at the time. And he’s not moving – surely The Hook would have used a gif if Ned had still been moving. The Hook is very techno savvy. Poor Ned… may he rest in peace. We should suggest they inter him in a maple grove to honor his passing while eating Canadian Maple Syrup.

      • denmother says:

        I’d like to think Ned was simply out late partying with Rob Ford rather than dead due to maple syrup misadventure. It’s certainly plausible.

      • Paul says:

        Possibly, but if that were the case, wouldn’t he have some signs of white rings around his nostrils? They look pretty clean to me.

      • Ned's Blog says:

        I just want to assure you I’m still alive. It was just a maple-syrup-induced coma. The fly still hasn’t come out of it yet. But put me down for the maple grove interment when I die.

  5. I had a Latino girlfriend for a while. Annabel. I’m milky white. It was either unrelenting passion or pads, paws and claws. It exhausted me so I married someone Irish.

  6. REDdog says:

    Ned and Hook…the makings of a great stand-up comedy routine, I reckon.

  7. Somewhere in here is a funny gas ball from a black hole comment, but it’s too early and I’m not caffeined yet. Love me some Ned, in spite of his fire fighting.

  8. lensgirl53 says:

    Hook, you are funny. (I mean that in a good way) 🙂

    Enough of the Justin Bieber jokes….I really do feel badly for him. At one time, he was a Canadian treasure now his light is flickering..kinda reminds me of Pluto’s new status. Sad.

    • Ned's Blog says:

      If I offended you, it wasn’t my intention, Lensgirl53. I agree that it is very sad about Justin Bieber. Especially if you’re Canadian.

      • lensgirl53 says:

        No offense,Ned. I hate that things are turning out the way they are for what was and still can be if the Biebs will get away from his entourage. Ya think?
        I really think you are funny, too….like Hook. I just really wish I knew more about the “background check and the blood test.” 😉 Blessings to you.

      • Ned's Blog says:

        None taken, LG. And I completely agree that his biggest problem is the people he has surrounded himself with. Someone needs to help him get back on track who has no other interest other than his welfare.

        And as for the blood test and background check… I appreciate any extra blessings I can get 😉

  9. Carrie Rubin says:

    Give that giant fly on Ned’s hand some time. He might just type out a killer story while Ned snoozes.

  10. curvyroads says:

    Hook, thank you for yet another terrific blogger to follow! 🙂

  11. Two of my favorite bloggers together…..ah, sheer bliss!!

  12. Ned is hilarious. Most entertaining. I wonder, Ned, was your reporter’s car outsourced due to cost cuts at the paper? 😀

  13. Pingback: Is Pluto a planet or whiner? This and four other questions I answered for The Hook | Ned's Blog

  14. Jennifer says:

    Love the Pluto answer. Brilliant. Maybe I should read a hook or another blog…?

  15. Almost Iowa says:

    Hook, thanks for hosting Ned here. He’s been cooped up in his blog too long and really needs to get out to stretch his humor. Not that his humor needs stretching or that he stretches things a bit…. oh, never mind.

    On another matter, has William Shatner actually been classified as a planet? If so, it’s about time.

  16. Thanks for featuring one of my favorite folks. Thanks for sharing!

  17. If you kept the Beibster, could we keep you? 😉

  18. benzeknees says:

    I am also a new follower of Ned’s. Love his take on Bieber – I have stopped touting him as a Canadian since I’m ashamed to say I live in the same country as him! Great job Nick!

  19. I still haven’t figured out why everyone is so fascinated by Mickey Mouse’s dog…caused more trouble than he was worth, I think, and I’m a dog person (you should see my chromosomes)

    As for Bieber, don’t get me started…we haven’t had this much trouble with an ex-pat Canadian since Ted Cruz…hunh, wonder what Theodore is up to these days

  20. …And so my circle of favorite humorists comes full circle… Yes Virginia, there is a God, and he’s got a great sense of humour. Great, as usual, Hook! And Ned.

  21. You guys are like the Dynamic duo but without the spandex (I’m assuming … I dont want to know!) Great pick for an interview!

  22. I now have to stalk Ned…thanks Hook 🙂

  23. stephrogers says:

    Hysterically funny. I have yet to meet Ned. I am going there right now!

  24. Jonny Eberle says:

    Another thoroughly enjoyable 5×5! But be careful who you ask about Pluto’s planetary status. I’ve learned that the hard way. I used to live in Flagstaff, the city where Pluto was discovered and it’s still a very, very sore subject. Now, whether or not William Shatner is a star or a planet is another matter altogether and don’t think science has yet reached a consensus…

  25. Oh, that Ned! He is hysterical! I’m looking forward to reading more.

  26. Pro Pluto and anti Bieber. You, Ned, are a clearly a wonderful fellow.

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