An Open Letter To Pattie Mallette.

Hello, Pattie.

I am currently on a self-imposed break from blogging, but as the father of a 15-year-old daughter and a member of a society that has found itself inundated by news of the increasingly-horrible meltdown of one of the world’s biggest pop stars, I find I can no longer contain myself. I have some things to say to you and you’re not going to like any of them but tough noogies, they have to be said.

I refuse to refer to you as “Justin Bieber’s Mom” for two reasons:

  1. You are an individual in your own right and you deserve to be treated as such.
  2. While it is true you engaged in what I am guessing was the worst three minutes of coitus of your life with a “man” named Jeremy (more on him later), and gave birth to a young man named Justin, you haven’t been a mother to the tabloid cannon fodder known as Justin Bieber. In fact, it would appear that Justin Bieber has hadn’t had any parental guidance in his life whatsoever.

So what gives, Pattie? I can call you Pattie, right? Thank you.

So what’s the deal here? I mean, you made this little, filthy-rich, rude, ungrateful, lesbian-in-a boy’s-underdeveloped-body, monster – literally – but now that the eggs have hit the fan, you’ve adopted a very unique approach to the entire pathetic debacle.

You’ve decided to do… nothing.

Actually, that isn’t entirely accurate, is it? After all you had this to say after hearing of your son’s arrest:

“I think so many people go into the entertainment industry with amazing Christian roots and they get influenced somehow, I ask that people keep me and Justin in their minds. I pray for him every day.”

“If Justin’s struggling, don’t kick him when he’s down or condemn him — pray for him.”

Prayer? That’s what you came up with after reaching into your diamond-studded bag of parenting tricks? Pretty smooth, Pattie. After all, prayer has worked out pretty well so far. It certainly worked wonders for Jesus…

I realize I have no right to judge you; I know nothing of being a single mom. Or of being addicted to drugs. Or of being an alcoholic. In your own words:

“I started self-medicating with drugs and alcohol. Everything sort of came to a head by the time I was 17, when I tried to commit suicide. I pray that what happened to me will happen for everyone, for people that are struggling with pain, depression and hopelessness.”

I am a little confused though: How does someone who went through the levels of Hell that you did grow up to become someone who, for all intents and purposes, turns her back on her son?

And yes, I realize Justin is an adult in the eyes of the law and that should be good enough for everyone else – but it isn’t, Pattie. Far from it. Justin Bieber has been behaving like an unholy terror for months now and the madness has escalated from altercations with paparazzi to $75,000 strip club visits, verbal assaults on fans, primate abandonment to egging a neighbor’s home to the tune of thousands of dollars and police involvement.

I know you don’t want to, but please consider that last issue for a moment, Pattie:


Short of starring in a series of Donkey Shows entitled: “Justin Bieber Kisses His Own Ass For Once!”, it couldn’t possibly get more pathetic for your son, could it?

Then again…

I’m going to wrap this up, Pattie. I know you’re probably busy wondering why you were excluded from the photo op Save Justin summit going on in Panama right now, so  I’ll leave you with these parting thoughts.

1)  You sold your son to a guy named Scooter. What else is there to say? I love this guy’s reaction to this whole mess: “Been a long day. Bottom line is we are defined by how we handle adversity. Be there when it counts. Love fully in good times and bad.”

What? Your client is a disaster, pal! He doesn’t need love, he needs an ass-whuppin’!

Which brings us to the long-absent father, Jeremy. Children need a father-figure. Period. What did you give your son, Pattie? A world-class D-Bag who actually partied with his son hours before his arrest.


2)  You should have stepped up years ago, Pattie, and paid this guy to get as far away from his son as possible. We both know it would have worked. I’ve seen Jeremy Bieber in action in my hotel; he actually played the “Do you know who I am?” card for a free room. Unfortunately for him, the entire world knows his son is worth billions so his plea fell on deaf ears. I’ve met many a douchebag in my time, but your ex is in a class all his own.

 And so are you, Patti.

3)  This is your son we’re talking about here. I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are the type of woman who would actually love someone who slid out of your body. Do you?

Your son needs you, Pattie. Not Usher. Not Scooter Braun. (What kind of jackass goes by the name “Scooter”, anyway? Is this guy twelve?) Justin needs his mom. When times get tough and the wolf is at the door, no matter our age, we all want our mom. Patti.

As a bellman in Niagara Falls I’ve met many a young person who idolizes your progeny. This post is the result of an encounter I had with a young girl of six today. This was what she had to say about your son while wearing a t-shirt with your son’s face plastered on it:

“He needs his mommy. Where is she? When I get scared, I need my mom to make things better and help me understand things. All Justin’s mom cares about is his money! I think he needs to go away with his mom and just be a normal kid again. Why doesn’t Justin’s mom love him anymore?”

This angel was six years old, Pattie, and she gets it. You’ve made millions off this kid. I think it’s time to step in and give back, don’t you? I’m 43-years-old and I still listen to my mom, so don’t tell me your son isn’t willing to listen to you. Push your way past the bodyguards, the hangers-on, Scooter, Usher and anyone else in the way and give your son what he’s been missing all these years:

The love of a parent who sees him as a bright, gifted young man and not a meal ticket.

That’s all I have to say. Good luck, Pattie.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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93 Responses to An Open Letter To Pattie Mallette.

  1. Poor choices combined with absentee parenting and too much money are a very dangerous narcotic for the young celebrities of today. No one to be the parent rather than the friend. I can’t presume I know the pressure those kids are under, but I do know that my mother was a single parent and if even a hint of what’s been going on with some of these kids had reached my mother’s ears, it wouldn’t matter how old I was…she’d still find a way to kick my butt.

  2. You had me at “ass whuppin'”.

  3. He likes to wear his pants so low that his entire underwear is showing, just like they do in prison. Perhaps that is where he wishes to be.

  4. Nicely said, Hook. I agreed with every part except the comment about Jesus. What no one but Jesus understood that day is that all of the events had to happen the way they did. Praying or not, I fear Bieber’s end will be at his own hand, and sooner rather than later.

    • The Hook says:

      All right, the Jesus line may have been rash. I get pretty passionate where reckless celebrities and parents are concerned.
      Thanks for weighing in, my friend.

  5. The Cutter says:

    It’s tough to resist the allure of all that money that he’s raking in I’m sure. And just admit it: You’re upset because the Biebs has become the new face of Canada. When people think of Canada, that’s who they think of.

  6. dentaleggs says:

    Ah, yes, prayer… nope. Got nothin’ that time. As always, excellent piece, Hook.

  7. I hadn’t heard about all this, but I don’t even have words for it. Well one, sad.

  8. Mate this is brilliant. Very well said. I really hope this goes viral too.

  9. Trent Lewin says:

    Hook, this is an epic smack down! Well done my friend – I hope everyone has a chance to read this.

    • The Hook says:

      I just hope Ms. Mallette reads it – and acts accordingly.
      A tall order, I know, but hope springs eternal, right?

      • Trent Lewin says:

        Well you never know how far this may go. Does she still live in Stratford? I’m only about 35 minutes from there. I could hand deliver the note, if you wish.

  10. Well written. Nice job. Pattie needs to weigh in on the DUI as well.

  11. 1jaded1 says:

    Hook, this is very well written and sad. This friend (yes I used that word) and I were ranting on Wednesday. In jest, he randomly types “Free Bieber” and I asked if he was even arrested. Friend’s reply, “Not yet, but he will be. I’m practicing.” This is all very sad, and yes, JB should have had an ass whuppin’ long time ago.

  12. Jennifer says:

    Could be an interesting next few weeks, specially seeing as I read in the paper today that “Beiber risks US deportation to Canada”. one can only hope, and but that means you have him back. Mother dearest needs an ass-whuppin’ herself and they both need to have a sit down.

  13. I learned so much in this post! I didn’t know anything about this Biebs as my daughter is a 1 Direction fan instead. The amount of money he’s worth is probably too staggering for the common white trash person to fathom or resist. He’s too young to have all that money and be allowed to access it whenever he wants.

    His shit would be in a trust were he my son and yes, his ass would be mine at that age too. His dad was partying with him? Nice. God bless 6-year-old-girls for being the voice of reason.

  14. TYTG says:

    She needs to step the fuck up. My mum would have thrown the rice cooker at me.

  15. I hadn’t known the name of Justin’s mum until this! But well said, Hook, every bit of it. Every bit.

  16. I was going to say too, I wonder if he just gets worse & worse with a will that someone will kick his butt – a parent. Seeking his parents’ attention?

  17. The 6 year old gets it.
    And there’s talk/petition of getting him deported as he should be treated like an ordinary person?
    Seriously damaged spoiled kid who may never be able to morph into a productive sensible adult. Bizarre self centered mom. Opportunist sperm donor (Dad? Father? Can’t insult real ones by giving him that title).
    The Jesus line was Ok to get your meaning across…it’s going to take more than platitudes and “good thoughts” to save this one…although lazy parents think that’s enough.
    Well done, Hook. (You do really well when “no longer contain yourself”) Society thanks you

  18. Hear, hear Hook. Wrote something on this the other day too, One of the things it makes me think about is that these kids should have a mandated life coach along with the mandatory schooling they have to have while on the road.

    • The Hook says:

      He needs to grow up on his own, but since that’s clearly not possible he needs his mom – now.

      • The problem is, his mom was a teen when she had him and she pretty much grew up under the same influences. They need a family intervention. I don’t know what that would look like, but I’d really like to see that sooner than deader.

      • The Hook says:

        Niether of them are mature enough to steer themselves to a safe shore, it appears.

  19. TK says:

    In my opinion, Justin’s main problem has nothing to do with who he may actually be or his family. I think the douche-bag thing is in. I know woman my own age who look at a guy with a do rag (or whatever) and a wife beater with lustful eyes. I know twelve-year-olds who think Justin is just being a kid, or being real. They like that he’s a definite asshole. I’m not sure if that’s who he actually is, though. That’s who his managers want him to be because that is what is making money today. I don’t even know if Justin really knows who he is, without people telling him what to do.

  20. Littlesundog says:

    I’m with Fearless Leader. Ass whuppin’s are generally effective. Even Daisy deer practices this technique!

  21. List of X says:

    I should pray for Justin Bieber?? No thanks, Justin is one of the main reasons why I am an atheist.

  22. Jo Bryant says:

    Hmmmm. Interesting post Hook. But, yep, sorry, I have to disagree with some of this. Of course a parent should always be a parent. Yet we are talking about a young man who has reached legal maturity. He is also a rich enough young man that he is able to surround himself with not only yes men and sycophants, but also enough people that even a parent might just find it hard to find a way through to him.

    I guess what I feel is that none of us know what his mother has tried to do to help this boy. There is only so much you can do when someone of legal age doesn’t want to help themselves unless she gets a court order to take control, which at this stage seems an unlikely occurrence. Sure…this lad needed a swift kick quite some time ago, but would it have stopped what is happening now? Maybe, maybe not. I know of some great parents who have been unable to stop their children from turning in to train wrecks. It wasn’t that they weren’t there, or didn’t care. It just was where their children went in their lives, and for some, no matter how heartbreaking it is, they are not able to put the breaks on for another person.

    It is also very easy for the media to pick and choose from what people say to add either a good or bad slant to their words. I know that when I am under stress about my kids I am not always coherent and do not always get my point across to others well. So what is my point ? I guess that until you walk in her shoes…you will never know what she has or hasn’t done to help her son. He has to help himself. What is the old saying ? You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. Cliche it may be but also true for situations such as these.

    • The Hook says:

      Well said, Jo.
      Yours is most definitely the voice of reason.

      • Jo Bryant says:

        I think it is such a shame [but actually not really a surprise given his background] that Justin has gone down this road. But honestly…I am sick to death of the constant media coverage. Seriously this is one person who is f***ing up his life. Japan is catching and killing 250 dolphins, Kim Jung Un is slaughtering children, shooting rampages are occurring daily, an Indian woman is gang raped as punishment and all I keep seeing in the headlines is this crap. Either this young man [who is responsible for his own actions and no-one else] will either get his act together or he won’t. But why do we hear about it like it matters ????

        Sorry Hook, but I really wish media would put time in to important stories. It is my pet peeve at the moment with the NZ media. We also have stupid crap stories taking over and the important stuff [such as what this TPP agreement actually will mean to this country in the future], and there is virtually nothing written about it so the majority of New Zealanders are ignorant of the consequences should it come to pass.

      • The Hook says:

        Don’t apologize, Jo.
        I second your concerns. In fact, I wouldn’t have written about Mallette and her son if I wasn’t so sick of hearing about him in the news.. Every. Five. Seconds.

      • Jo Bryant says:

        Oh and as a ps to my little rant there…I know a woman whose son at 19 started on his own train wreck. She talked, she supported, she yelled, she pleaded with him. She cried through so many nights and days of being scared shitless that she could do nothing to stop him. Because at the end of the day…he had to firstly accept he had problems, and secondly WANT to deal with them. At times she felt like she was drowning in fear for where he might be heading. But she also had to smile with friends, pay her bills, look after the other people in her life. Not everyone knew what happened behind her doors between her and her son, nor did they know the frustration she felt. Not all his choices are the ones she would make. But she remembered the mistakes she made during those years of her life and tried not to drive him away during those four years. Four years later that son is making his way to a better life. He turns 23 next Sunday. And this mother cared more than you can imagine, even if others never saw how deep that her caring went because she had to stand by and watch without ever feeling anything she said or did was ever going to change anything.

        When I see my son for his birthday this weekend I will drink in his beautiful face, I will hug him, and remember how I worried he would get to be 23 at times without causing so much damage he would never come back from it. I will remember how helpless I was to MAKE him do anything until HE decided to take steps to take another path.
        That’s why while I feel sorry for this boy, I also feel for his mother. Especially as none of us can ever KNOW what she has or hasn’t done, what she has or hasn’t felt. Because I KNOW she might just feel like she is also drowning in her helplessness to help her son.

        At 55 I have learned one very big lesson in life. Maybe the biggest for me. Never judged a book by its cover [oh the cliches are rolling for me today]. Because until you have lived another person’s life you will never know their story.

      • The Hook says:

        And this little nugget of brilliance, dear Jo, is why I like and respect you so much.
        Thank you.
        By the way, I hope you received my e-mail today. I’m looking forward to your turn in the 5×5 spotlight.

    • I agree that the insane fascination with celebs/ media is most likely doing far more damage to these kids who find themselves in a horrible spot – most kids at some time either throws eggs, or TP’s a house, drag race etc. Justin is just in the position to have every mistake broadcast as if he is the devil that invented such behavior. average teens would be grounded for a month and be allowed to get on with their lives.

      A month ago I would not have seen Jo’s perspective on his mother quite the same however… I do think celeb moms have more responsibility to rein in their creations. That said I was shocked to find how little control I already have over our 11 yr old ! Last week I found myself eating crow as i posted about finding a child wandering the house with a burning log – and I’m a stay at home parent ! Leave the room for a minute & look what happens much less when the child owns his own house !

      Fab post, so much to ponder…

  23. Interesting…but I have to agree with you on this, Hook. Because a mother’s job is never done. Not even in her grave. We just worry about our kids to death, because we love them so much. I am 44 years old and a mother myself, but to this day, I have to listen to my mother. Her role and love as my mother do not change just because I have grown older or changed in any way. And I would probably do the same to my daughter too.
    It is a very sad situation. Just like Lilo (Lindsay Lohan) – too young, too much money too fast and too much freedom.

    • The Hook says:

      But millions of kids much younger than Justin are already much more mature. I realize he is in a unique position, but he has to start getting his act together before someone pays the ultimate price.

  24. Great piece Hook! The glorification of this kids behavior is sickening, but making it “Breaking News” and interrupting all other scheduled programing crosses over to another level of insanity that I just can not fathom. Something tells me when he is found unconscious in his hotel room Pattie will continue to use her meal ticket giving interviews blaming his fatherless childhood for all of his mistakes. It’s a story with an ending we can sadly predict.

  25. There’s nothing to say that hasn’t already been said in your excellent post (or in these comments) so let me just offer up a sincere “Bravo!”

  26. stephrogers says:

    Glad you came back for this one. Funny! BTW that kid is no lesbian.

  27. I haven’t really followed much about him because quite frankly, I always thought he was an idiot with no talent….no offense to anyone who’s a fan. This was great, Hook. I’m shocked by his mother’s response or rather, the lack of.

  28. I like to refer to what you have done here as being “man love.” Good post, Hook. Lay the love on her, and “Dad” too while you’re at it.

  29. These past few months I been wondering where the heck Pattie’s been partying that she hasn’t whooped that son of hers already. Doesn’t she hear the news or read the papers? Surely, someone isn’t hiding all these goings on from her. Her kid is cracking up. The clock is ticking. What is she waiting for?

    Outstanding letter, Hook.

  30. Powerful post, Hook. I deeply appreciate it as offspring of two ill-equipped parents… Mothers are so important. When life gets too hard, I wish for a mom to reach out to.

    I really applaud you voicing this.

    Sending appreciation,

  31. When my mom heard about this stint of the boy she just said, “Where is his mother? Why is she not doing anything? How can she let her son do such things?”
    Myself being a seventeen year old, it horrifies me to see other teens around me defending him and asking others not to ‘judge’ him. What’s done is done, and defending something which is wrong won’t help anyone in any way.

    This is a great post, Hook!

  32. MissFourEyes says:

    That is the smartest little girl. I don’t know what to say about Beiber or his mother.
    But, Scooter, seriously?

  33. I got a serious case of the giggles when I read #2. Shots fired man. *lol*

  34. TBM says:

    somehow I’ve stayed under my rock and didn’t know that much about Justin and his troubles. Going back under my rock. Give me a shout when it’s all clear

  35. Pingback: An Open Letter To Pattie Mallette. | The Sarcastic Cynic™

  36. Katie Renee says:

    Hearing the word “no” when you’re rich and famous is a near impossibility. If it doesn’t come from his Mom, who will it come from? Certainly not his manager or all the lowlifes that hang around him.

  37. Well said. Although…not all justin’s issues are down to his mum. Maybe his mum just thinks, oh shit, what can I do! and comes out with the prayer crap just for something to say. Ultimately it’s down to Justin himself, although at 17 or whatever he is, he’s not in much of a position to start to control his life. I don’t know that his mum can save him, all she can say is, look mate, you’re making an idiot of yourself, but I adore you and I’ll always be there. If she doesn’t do that, then, yeah, she’s not a great mum.

  38. PsiFiGal says:

    I had no idea that his home life was so messed up. Thanks for informing us. If I had acted like that my Mom would have gotten out the wooden spoon!

  39. Dylan Dailey says:

    That was a good post, and I don’t give a shit about Bieber. You almost make me care!

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