THE HOOK: (Upon casting my eyes on our new lobby furniture – positioned directly across from the front desk – for the first time.) Four loveseats and a ginormous ottoman? Howe long before those are drenched in twenty-dollar Starbucks lattes and various bodily fluids?
MY BELL CAPTAIN: You don’t have to always seek out the negative, do you? Think positive, Hook!
THE HOOK: Why start now?
MBC: Don’t make me fire you. Again.
He “fires” me every day – without fail. Continuity is great, isn’t it?
Undaunted, as always, I continue.
THE HOOK: The big question remains.
MBC: I know I’m going to regret this…
THE HOOK: Buuuut?
MBC: (Sighing the sigh of a man who has been “managing” me for 14 years.) What’s the big question, Hook?
THE HOOK: How long before the night auditors make that inevitable call to security. The one that goes something like this:
“Night Audit to Security: Uh yeah.. we have two drunk people attempting to copulate on the new lobby furniture. If you could bring a hose or a spray bottle to the lobby we’d appreciate it.”
THE HOOK: You’re right, of course. That was completely unrealistic. Okay, how about this?
“Night Audit to Security: We have two morons boning on the new lobby furniture. Break out the tasers, boys. It’s Go Time!”
(Nothing is guaranteed to ruin a trip faster and more completely than a taser to the genitals, kids.)
This has been a brief peek behind the curtain in the Oz-like throne room of my mind. Enjoy the weekend, folks. See you in the lobby…
Before We Part Ways…
If you’d be so kind, click on the image below to wish a warm WordPress birthday to a special soul, Madame Weebles. Thanks. You’re the best.