She is the Jack Bauer of WordPress, risking life and limb for blog fodder.
Pop culture is a tool in her hands, elevating her posts to brilliance. (And yes, the preceding sentence remained unchanged as it leapt from my writing voice to my blogging screen. We’re all adults here, right?)
She is Aussa Lorens and her posts are not only real, they’re spectacular. She is a true original and if you don’t believe me, check out these five random examples of her greatness and unique genius.
She makes The Bride look like a joke. Her beauty -inside and out – makes Kim K want to bludgeon herself to death with one of Kanye’s CDs. She is here to answer a few questions.
1) Let’s start out with a challenge – because I know you’re more than up to this – name something you admire about someone you hate.
I generally fail at hatred – by the time I’ve devoted the effort to loathing someone it gets twisted into undying affection. Taylor Swift is a perfect example of this: I mocked her with sincere dislike a few years ago… but I had to listen to her music in order to mock it properly and with flair. Fast-forward a few turns of the album and I may or may not have actually ended up attending one of her concerts.
This why I can’t get in on hating Justin Bieber because I’ll end up with his face tattooed on my arse or something. So… I guess what I respect about T. Swift is her ability to charm me against my will and make me do things like this:
2) What is your favorite zombie of all-time?
28 Days Later! Not just my favorite zombie movie, but one of my favorite movies in general. Aside from the usual appeal of zombies (BRAINS!), it has an amazing soundtrack and a really interesting take on human behavior and the choices we make when our reality is threatened. And Cillian Murphy is just beautifully creepy.
3) We’re soulmates in that we both love to “hate” people, but what do you love most about the human race?
Pushing past the ethnocentrism (my first though had to do with YouTube) and thinking of humanity as a whole, I think I’d have to say I love that we continue striving to connect and communicate with each other, despite the fact we are intrinsically flawed and unable to do so. We’re gifted with these incredible minds that can’t fully be shared with anyone but ourselves like a playground where we can only play alone. Still we try, and every once in a while we achieve a perfect “Aha!” moment where we can say “Yes, I get you.”
I think this cycle of striving and failing and briefly breaking through is beautiful and heartbreaking and makes humanity possibly worth loving.
4) Your favorite type of pizza?
I’m so boring. I love pepperoni pizza. And I love to eat it cold. I’m so blinded by passion for pepperoni that I’ve accidentally ordered it for myself and my friend who is Muslim. At least twice. I fail at cultural and religious sensitivity.
(But at least you fail on a full stomach.)
5) What makes you smile until your face feels like you went ten rounds with your pail, Liam Neeson? (Puppies. Bacon. Puppies wrapped in bacon?)
Come on, we all know the answer to this question:
I know I should say my boyfriend but he just made me cry in a Sushi restaurant by talking about a child who has cancer. Sorry for the serious words. (See baby seal above.)
I’d be a fool to attempt to follow a pic of a baby seal, so I’m wrapping this puppy up, kids. I’ll be taking a few more days off to be plain old Robert Hookey, dad and husband semi-extraordinaire, so take care of yourself, friends.
See you in the lobby….