5×5 With The Hook: The Bloggess.

She’s got a whole bunch of boats. Twelve Jenny’s, big ol’ warehouse, she even has hats that says “The Bloggess” on them. “The Bloggess“. It’s a household name.

Wait, that’s Forrest Gump. My bad.

Anyway… She’s made Time magazine’s list of the 25 Best Bloggers of 2013. (They overlooked yours truly, but then again, so did everyone else, so I can’t complain. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen anyone with a Time magazine who wasn’t sitting in a waiting room, but I trust their judgement in this case.)

She’s made converts of those old fuddie duddies at Forbes, who listed her site as one of their Top 100 Websites for Women.  (It’s #1 on my list of sites for anyone.)

Her “About” page is an exercise in minimalism – and it perfectly showcases her greatest quality: the ability to draw you into her world using only a few paragraphs.  I’m The Hook, but she puts my work to shame, kids.

Heck, she’s even made history as the only blogger I know with her face on a stamp. (I’m not sure how I’d feel about people licking the back of my head, but she’s a trooper.)

She wrote a book, she uses her status to help others in need and she has a list of credits as long as your arm – if your arm is unreasonably short, that is.

Her upbringing was as funny and irreverent as her writing; most kids had stuffed animals in their rooms, she had animals that were stuffed.

Like millions of you out there, my only exposure to the devilishly wonderful brain box of Jenny Lawson has come from reading her best-selling bio, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir), and her extraordinary workas her blogging alter-ego, The Bloggess.

However, I’m willing to bet the farm (If I had a farm to bet, that is. But I don’t, because I can ‘t even say the word “hoe” without laughing, never mind use one to tend crops.   But I digress.), that if you asked her – which I forgot to, unfortunately – she’d tell you she was a storyteller, not an author.

And that distinction, kids, is what makes her so damn cool and worthy of our respect and adoration. Not the book sales. Not the awards.  Not even the charitable work she does under the radar. (Although, in this day and age, those efforts qualify her for sainthood.)

Back when the Earth was new and people didn’t have electronic devices, television or books to occupy their time, they turned to storytellers to escape their meager, hardscrabble lives. These individuals transported them to new and exciting worlds far beyond the limits of their imaginations.  Hell, back in the day, storytellers were the internet.

So being a chronicler of events both real and imagined is an awesome responsibility as it entails carrying a torch that has been burning bright for centuries.  And Jenny Lawson is a great storyteller.  And with that intro out of the way, we can get to the reason we’re all here…. 5×5 With The Hook.

1)  You’re a best-selling writer and a devoted, hardcore Whovian; would you rather face down a Weeping Angel or a critic? I’m used to critics.  And quite often they help you grow in fantastic ways.  Unless they’re just assholes.  I’d rather deal with an asshole than a Weeping Angel.  I have more practice with assholes.


2)  Your favorite food that you don’t have to prepare is…. 

Yes.  My favorite food is food I don’t have to prepare.  Also good?  Free and filled with rum.

Hook’s Note:  You see what she did there?  The Bloggess can do more with a few lines than I’ve been able to do in an entire book.  I bow to her grace.

3)  Like myself, you’ve been married a gazillion years; is there anything your husband, Victor, doesn’t know about you?

He doesn’t know I’m really answering questions about rum rather than doing my quarterly taxes.  He would not be pleased.

4)  The best gift a fan has ever given you? 

A kitten.  I couldn’t keep it, but it slept at my signing table for hours and in the end I think someone adopted it.  It was awesome ans everyone in line whispered with me so the kitten wouldn’t wake up.  Those are my kind of people.

5)  Your favorite lounging around/zoning out outfit?  A panda outfit.  For real.

I started this feature to shine a positive light of hope across the vast patches of darkness that threaten to dominate the internet.  Jenny Lawson uses her talents to do the same.  Sure, she has her days when her rheumatoid arthritis, OCD, ADD, depression, and anxiety disorder threaten to overwhelm her, but she continues to pump out moxie at a superhuman rate. 

She is a kick-ass, super cool mom. A loving, irreverent, never boring (ever!), wife. She is a signer of books. A writer of columns and blog posts.  In fact, I’m still dumbfounded by the fact someone hasn’t founded The First Church of The Bloggess.  Of course, now that I think about it…

Any way, if she can do all that and inspire millions in the process, then there’s no reason we can’t all dig deep when things look bleak and pull out a win.

All right, all this positivity is starting to mess with my equilibrium, so I’m out of here. See you in the lobby, folks….

One last detail before I go: Normally my 5×5 guests will answer your comments, but to say Jenny’s schedule is busy would be like suggesting the Daleks are merely acting out, so I’ll step in when necessary, okay? (If you didn’t get the Dalek reference don’t sweat it, not every one speaks geek.)

Before we part ways yet again:  To everyone who has responded to my last post – including the blogging gods and goddesses at Mount WordPress who Freshly Pressed me –  thank you  from the bottom of my heart.  I was concerned the post in question would be misinterpreted, but you’ve all responded in your usual caring, generous manner.

You rock.  Take a pat on the back for yourselves out of petty cash.

See you in the lobby, folks…


About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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59 Responses to 5×5 With The Hook: The Bloggess.

  1. NotAPunkRocker says:


  2. likeitiz says:

    She’s brilliant!

  3. Thanks for shining a light on “The Blogess” and congratulations on the “Freshly Pressed”. Well deserved My Friend. Well deserved.

  4. thebloggess says:

    You can always borrow my panda suit, my friend.

  5. Dude, I know she’s brilliant and essentially blogging / writing royalty but from what I’ve read, you’re pretty awesome too man. That being said, it must’ve been pretty cool to do the 5×5 with her.

    Congratulations on getting Freshly Pressed again. I’m off to get my panda outfit…

  6. She’s definitely cool, Hook. Will take a storyteller over an “author” anytime.
    And congrats on the spotlight.(would write more, but so much smiling drains energy..and you’re at work anyway) Jingle on!

  7. Katie says:

    Hook, you and your connections never cease to amaze me.

  8. Wow! You got The Bloggess, that makes you awesome too! Well you were awesome anyway, but now, well, you know, The Bloggess!! I’m so glad I went before her for my 5×5 rather than after. And congrats on the Freshly Pressed too, I hadn’t seen that. It’s all super duper around here isn’t it!

  9. susielindau says:

    How cool are you to get the Bloggess! She is synonymous with the word “blogging!”

  10. The Cutter says:

    Huh. Apparently I was overlooked by TIME as well. But good interview!

  11. Aussa Lorens says:

    The idea of having “fans” seems somewhat terrifying and most definitely like a lot of pressure but I didn’t realize that they come bearing KITTENS?! What!
    Also: That panda outfit looks more effective than the parka I wear in my office every single day of the year. Nothing like wearing an endangered species on your body.

  12. Lily says:

    I agree with Katie! I’m impressed. You have friends in high places!

  13. dinkerson says:

    Hook, you did a fine job with your interview. Bill Boggs would be proud. 😉
    Also, I like how you use your blog to build others up and encourage community in the bloggosphere. I didn’t know that your last post was freshly pressed, but congratulations.

    Oh, and I’d not heard of the Daleks. Those things seem to have deep rooted anger problems.


  15. TJLubrano says:

    Love love looooooove Jenny! She totally made my day when she complimented me on the Red Dress I created when I blogged about the Red Dress Movement. *is still excited*

    Big congrats on being freshly pressed! You got them hooked on your awesome words again (I totally didn’t mean to make a pun here…). I have to read your post. Also about that “The First Church of The Bloggess”…it needs to happen. And what about a dance party IN panda outfits? We could hold rum bottles, although I don’t really drink (get high on water. Don’t tell the others.)

    Did I say that I love Jenny? I don’t think I did huh? I love her 🙂

  16. Great interview with an icon…ness

  17. Daile says:

    YOU ROCK HOOK!! Congrats on being FP’d – well deserved. I feel like someone needs to get you a panda outfit for Christmas!!

  18. Cameron says:

    At a signing once, near Boston, Jenny told me she liked my shirt and that my friend had great hair. I listened: she spoke to every one of us in that neverending line for her autograph with kindness and grace, and damn, did her book make me laugh, and cry, and think a lot. She might be the coolest celebrity I’ve ever spoken to. Well done, Mr. Not So Terrible, for bringing her ’round the place.

  19. Pingback: Trying to Explain “The Big Bang Theory” to Your Kids | Leanne Shirtliffe ~ Ironic Mom

  20. Pingback: Holidays can be rough. Especially for the little ones. And by “little ones” I mean “my cats”. — TheBloggess.com

  21. RageMichelle says:

    And my Sunday morning is complete. Great interview! She just rocks like frozen crazy!

  22. bluesnowkat says:

    Fantastic! The Bloggess is awesome and so relatable. For instance, I too like food that I don’t have to prepare. Especially when it involves alcohol (although I prefer gin). Thanks for interviewing her.

  23. Adminderella says:

    Awesome interview! Jenny is fabulous and I’m impressed that you got her to step away from her quarterly taxes for an interview! How much rum did it cost you? *grin

  24. Pingback: I’ve Been Hooked! « HACKER. NINJA. HOOKER. SPY.

  25. I love the Bloggess, she’s the inspiration as to why I even began to consider blogging. I don’t even do it so others will read it, I do it so I can work on my comedic writing, and reading her stuff just brightens my day.

    Great post.

  26. Jana says:

    She doesn’t know it, but the Bloggess inspired me to start blogging because I related so much to so much of what she said (I think there may be too many ‘so muches’ in that sentence — but you get my drift).

  27. Pingback: Hooked! | What Would Nadia Do?

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