An Open Letter To The Lost.

This is for everyone out there who is currently hearing the whispers of desperation, the call of the void reaching out to them, even in the places we hide.

My name is Robert and I have something to say. I live in Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada, a place of great natural beauty surrounded by the trappings of humanity. (Yes, parts of Niagara are ridiculously tacky, but on the plus side, Rob Ford isn’t our mayor and we’re not bankrupt like Detroit.) Every day we welcome strangers to our home; everyone is greeted with a smile and the hand of friendship. We never turn anyone away and regardless of how these strangers feel when they leave, one thing is certain: No one is unaffected by the unimaginable power of the Falls themselves.

The rushing waters are a symbol of purity and power and as they fall to the earth below they represent the cycle of rebirth; I like to think the waters themselves are transformed by their descent and head out to their destination irrevocably changed.

But for a number of you the Falls represent an ending, a conclusion to your cycle of pain and confusion. We don’t talk about it, but the citizens of this city know the truth: Niagara is a temporary home to millions who have come to appreciate its beauty, but there are also those among the teeming masses who have come here to die.

Over the years many of them have succeeded in their quest.

Some of them were our own brothers and sisters, fellow citizens who lost their way.

Even now, as I sit here surrounded by the stillness of a Monday morning there are those of you who are lonely among us. You have tried to live a life of joy and fulfillment, only to find the path to happiness blocked by obstacles both man-made and seemingly-ordained by fate.

There was once a man who lost his wife and children to circumstances he felt were beyond his control. They remained among the living but were no longer an integral part of his daily life. And so he donned a suit, loaded a briefcase with a notebook containing his final thoughts, and headed out in the darkness to his final earthly destination.

He stood at the literal brink and after a few moments of solitary reflection he lashed out at those souls who toil in the midnight hour who had happened upon him while living out their own lives. They reached out to the authorities but no one could stop his crusade. No words were sufficient.

He was someone’s son. He was a father, a husband, a friend. He was a lost soul like many of you, with a history and a place in this world, though, simply put, he could no longer perceive it and so he felt orphaned, shut out of his very existence.

And in one swift motion, he gathered the last of his waning strength and clamored over a guardrail. He ignored the screams resonating behind him and he gave himself over to the forces of gravity.

I cannot say with absolute certainty what his final thoughts were as he descended to the waters below but I firmly believe if given the opportunity, he would have chosen to live. But the die was cast. His form struck the rapids and the void welcomed him as it does everyone.

In one horrible, irrevocable instant, he was gone, everything he was and ever could be, was erased by the waters.

But you, my friends, are still here. I know you are hurting. Some of you have hidden that pain well and walk among us smiling and seemingly-connected to this world. But you are not filled with joy when the world grows quiet. We cannot hide in the darkness when our tainted thoughts are all we have to reflect upon.

The holiday season is in motion and ironically, this time of celebration serves as a cruel reminder to those of you who are isolated by your pain. We’ve been raised to associate Christmas with family and commercialism. The lesson most children draw from the holiday season is this: If you love someone the most appropriate way to display that love is to purchase expensive, shiny gifts wrapped in gaudy packaging and if you have no one to love, then you, my friend have failed at the game of life.

Personally, I’ve always felt Christmas should serve as a new beginning. Jesus was born to save the world and so the world as it existed before his birth vanished with his first cries and it would never be the same again. Of course, he inspired the masses, but his followers could not save him from an unjust end and as his story concluded, he died questioning his father’s wisdom… and you know what? I really think I’m losing my way here.

I want to reach out to those among you who have lost hope. I want to ensure you don’t visit my city with the intention of ending your existence. I want to give you a reason to go on, to make sure sure the darkness doesn’t overwhelm you.

But ultimately, I cannot help you. I’m a simple man, a bellman who fancies himself a writer. Once upon a time, however, I was a lonely high school boy who, while carrying the load of a childhood trauma, self-righteously believed his failure to secure a date meant his life was a complete and utter failure. One fateful night I took up a position at the brink and with tears in my eyes I prepared myself to jump.

(Not to be a spoilsport, but as you’ve probably realized, the void failed to entice me fully and so my life continued, resulting in my ultimate fate as a smart-ass hospitality worker and blogger.)

As a grown man looking back at his life I cannot help but feel ashamed at my tunnel vision. If I had dove to my end that night my daughter wouldn’t be here today and my child is one of this world’s brightest lights.

Trust in this, my friends: Regardless of how much you’re hurting, no matter how much misery infects your soul, there is always hope. Life is warmth and laughter. The void is cold and quiet.

Life is bacon cheeseburgers, milkshakes, superhero movies and orgasms. The void doesn’t have any of these and should be avoided at all costs.

Living is hard its true, but nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight.

Dying is easy. Any cheese-eating high school boy can climb a railing and fall forward. A coward chooses death. Not that cowardice is anything to be ashamed of; acknowledging that I was afraid of living gave me sufficient strength to carry on.

I hope I’ve struck a nerve with you. “Coward” is a heartless, ugly word when applied to suicide, but I hope it causes you to feel… well, something. Quite frankly, I’d rather you feel anger that causes you to lash out and connect with the world rather than apathy that drives you further away. Please bear in mind that my intentions are good.

I hope you see yourself reflected in the tale of the wayward father who believed that tomorrow had no place for him. My heart goes out to him, but my heart bleeds for the children he left behind, the children who will no doubt spend the rest of their lives questioning their role in his suicide.

Life is hard. Living takes courage.

Do whatever you have to, my friends, but find that courage. I don’t want to have to write a post like this ever again.

POSTSCRIPT One of my blogging allies, Twindaddy, has made his own contribution to this cause.  Click here or on the image below to be enlightened and touched by his words.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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377 Responses to An Open Letter To The Lost.

  1. jmlindy422 says:

    This was so beautiful, Hook. I never once thought about Niagara as a place to go to die. But I can imagine now how overwhelming and enticing the waters could be to someone intent on ending their pain.

    • The Hook says:

      There is something primal about the Falls that calls out to the Lost.
      The city does it’s best to keep these incidents quiet – understandably so, I suppose – but we need to talk about just why so many of us choose to die rather than live.

      • jmlindy422 says:

        I’m planning to do a Crazy Good Parent “issue” on suicide in the spring, which (I was surprised to learn) is peak time for successful suicide attempts. Would you be interested in contributing? I’m also planning a reblog week next week so that I can have a bit of a vacation. Any Christmas posts you’ve got are welcome, whether they feature your own craziness or not. Hope you’ll consider jumping in the crazy pool.

      • The Hook says:

        I wish I had the time to contribute but I’m swamped unfortunately. If I can hobble together something worthy of your blog by next week I’ll let you know.
        I don’t want to promise anything, but I should be able to contribute something for your suicide issue in the spring.
        Thanks for thinking of me.

      • jmlindy422 says:

        Don’t worry at all about next week, but spring would be fabulous. It will be March or, maybe, April. I’ll let you know.

  2. Christmas is such a difficult time for so many people isn’t it? There’s so much pressure on people to be joyous and be with family and friends, and to look like those perfect families on the TV commercials, but the reality falls far short of that for many. The pressure that society puts on Christmas means that people who might be perfectly ok being on their own on any other day, suddenly can’t bear it around Christmas time.
    That was a great post. The only thing I disagree with, (and I hope you don’t mind me disagreeing with you!). Is that I don’t think suicide is cowardly – to attribute cowardliness, or selfishness, or anything like that to suicide is to not recognize the absolute depths of despair that people can sink to, where they genuinely believe that is their only option. I’m so glad you didn’t get far enough to do it.

    • The Hook says:

      I knew that using the word “coward” when discussing suicide was a risky move, but I wanted to draw a powerful reaction. People who are clinically depressed tend to drift away and cease to be affected by the world. Anger can draw people back in.
      Your words have motivated me to tweak my post slightly, Vanessa. To be honest, I’m grasping at straws; I don’t know how to help the Lost, but hopefully my words, flawed as they are, will help someone to seek qualified help.

      • Your post was wonderful, and I certainly didn’t mean to imply it wasn’t. I’m sure it would help people. It’s always really hard to know what the right thing is to say to help people isn’t it. You did a fine job sir!

      • The Hook says:

        My thanks, dear lady.
        Your presence here is always a joy to behold.

      • jmlindy422 says:

        “Coward” is a word I’ve struggled with, as well. Actually, it’s been more of a struggle between my son and I as we discussed his feelings of despair, which almost lead to his own suicide, and mine. It ended with him screaming that suicide is a selfish, cowardly thing to do. I tried to explain what despair feels like, but was unsuccessful, probably because we were talking about his mother.

  3. Carrie Rubin says:

    What a powerful post. We think of Christmas as a time of joy, laughter, and love, but sadly, for many, it is a devastating time of loneliness. Beautiful reminder to be grateful for what we have and to be cognizant of trying to make the world better for those around us as well.

  4. 1jaded1 says:

    This is so well written, my dear Robert. I had a meticulous plan, but the laws of physics had another. To this day I wonder, and sometimes the void entices.

    The most heart-breaking phrase I hear is, “I didn’t think he or she would actually do it.” This means that the warning was ignored.

    Sorry for the comment ramble. Thank you for writing this, and fostering awareness, friend.

  5. Robert, this was a great post. Thank you for not ending it all when you were younger. Think of what the world would be missing! I have often wondered why there have to be difficult times in life. My conclusion is that if we survive them, they give us an understanding of life that couldn’t have been experienced before. My heart goes out to the person that you wrote about. If they could have walked away, there is no telling what they could have accomplished. The experiences that life has in store for us are exceptional. If we look for them. Hope all is well with you this holiday season and the tips are incredibly large. 🙂

    • The Hook says:

      The tips have been miniscule of late, Jonathon, but I have been blessed with riches beyond the monetary, and so I cannot complain.
      Of course, I can complain – and often do – but I really shouldn’t.
      Thanks for stopping by.

  6. Another brilliant, thought provoking piece man. Thank you.

  7. NotAPunkRocker says:

    I remember you writing about this topic before. Still very haunting and I can’t imagine being a witness to such things. Thank you for the reminders, especially this time of year. (((hugs)))

    (I can’t remember if you are a virtual hugger or not but oh well. This post requires me to hug.)

  8. Heavy. Duty. Stuff.

  9. Twindaddy says:

    Right on, Hook. As someone once wisely said (I can’t remember whom at the moment), “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” People need to know that the feelings they have are natural and will pass with treatment and time. It’s okay to feel depressed. It’s okay to feel lonely. It’s okay to reach out and accept help.

  10. Thanks Hook.
    2 years ago I was the “coward”… and almost took my life. The only reason why I didn’t was for my children. I couldn’t hurt them. I knew there dad wouldn’t be their for them emotionally and my family doesn’t acknowledge mental illness or pain well – or at all.
    So essentially knowing that they needed me, saved me. My children saved me.
    Life has been tough lately and I would be remiss to say that that horrible “suicide” word hasn’t entered my head. I’m stronger now and have learned some tools to get me thru this time.

    I usually love the Christmas season, I love the holiday music, the shows, the Christmas parties etc. There will be no family Christmas. I hope my parent’s enjoy their trip to Mexico, and I hope my brother and his wife enjoy Christmas with her family. I will enjoy my day off with my daughter with the Turkey and fixings donated by people that gave through the kindness of their hearts.

    I’m not going to lie, I daily can’t wait for the holidays this year to be done.
    Again, thanks for this great post Hook, and the cry… I needed it.

  11. renxkyoko says:

    This reminds me of that mother in the Philippines who lost her husband and 4 children during the super storm that devastated the country. I wrote about it, and sadly, I said I’d go to the sea and drown myself.

  12. lidipiri says:

    A post that I would wish never had a place to be had. But it does. And very much so. The holidays and all the expectations of being surrounded by family and gifts and happiness enhances the feeling of worthlessness and sorrow and self-pity for those who are lacking those elements. It is a glorious time for some and the worst of times for others. I think everyone who has thought of ending their life has thought themselves a coward in some way. Yet it is the belief, however slight, that things will get better that sees them through the darkness.
    You should consider volunteering some time to suicide prevention organizations. Even if you don’t, I know there will be some who you may have made think twice about it.

  13. I think your timing for this beautiful piece is very good, for the reasons already stated about the expectations that rise at this time of year. I can’t help thinking that these words will reach one soul in need of them, and really there is no bigger gift than for someone to feel a moment of being heard, and just maybe, getting another day of hope.

    I love the way you use your gift Robert.

  14. dinkerson says:

    What a fascinating write up. I almost didn’t recognize you, Hook. Way to tackle this challenging post.

    • The Hook says:

      I have layers, buddy.
      By the way, I have to get back to your neck of the blogosphere soon.; your work is outstanding.

      • dinkerson says:

        That you do. Have layers, that is.
        Hook, this is very good writing.
        I’m glad that you’ve enjoyed me work.
        I give it a good try.

  15. Wow! Emotionally great post.

  16. Like you, it saddens me as well when our beautiful piece of Mother Nature is used by someone to end their life. I have stood there and felt the pull. It can be hypnotic and if you are already feeling those tendrils of despair pulling you it can be a deadly combination. What you wrote here is sadly beautiful and if it gives pause to just one person you have been successful.

  17. stephrogers says:

    This is a beautiful post and I connect with it on so many deep levels. Thank you for putting this piece of yourself out into the world.

  18. Katie says:

    Beautiful, Hook. I’m always moved when we get to see this side of your writing. I’m glad you’re spreading the word–it’s an important message.

  19. Jennifer says:

    Another amazing post. And beautifully written. I’ve been a bit lost this last few weeks, not for those reasons but with so much death surrounding me (a family member included) which brought back the suicide from earlier in the year. Cowardice is an easy word to bring up, but it takes a lot of guts to take that step. More strength to step away and move forward with life.
    There are lots of callous words used with this subject but unless you have been there (and walked away) we really have no idea of how low someone has to be to consider this option.

    • The Hook says:

      Invoking cowardice in this post was a calculated risk, Jennifer, but I think it paid off. Anger can unlock emotion and free people from despair, so I feel confident I’ve made the right choice.
      I’m sorry you’ve felt lost recently, my dear friend. You have plenty to be thankful for this holiday season, so cheer up! The world is yours!

  20. Yogizilla says:

    This piece really hits home for me in many ways.. A few years back a cousin of mine ended his life. No one saw it coming.. His life was going so well..

    I say we all need to seek a greater purpose.. More importantly, mini escapes and outlets are crucial. For me, its gaming and creative works.

    Thanks for sharing this message of hope, bud!

  21. My dear Robert, I know that after reading this anyone who’d be “tempted”, would think twice. The deafening whitenoise of the falls washing out all thoughts must have something to do with it. It’s a somewhat violent erasing of thoughts [make sense?]. As I said though, your words are more than adequate to pull anyone away from such an act. Life is very short as it is – unpredictable and full of joy and sadness. It is precious, so [speaking for myself] I take both joy and sorrow with a smile as they both are a gift for which I am grateful. So to anyone contemplating suicide, read Robert’s words again and remember, the greater the joy or sorrow, the greater the gift! We all learn…

  22. Know this post wasn’t easy to write – (you see those eyes, too – I was just thinking this morning how among the vast public you witness so much – in silence.)
    “Cowardly” was appropriately used. The intention is to shock/anger/change behavior.
    And suicide may end one’s “pain”/distress, but rips apart all those left behind – now that is cowardly: to leave the pain and bequeath it to all those close around you. (How much do you HATE them?…Sorry to be brutal, but that’s what it seems like…and you won’t be here to explain you didn’t mean to hurt them…sort of selfish to check out and drop all that on them.)
    I know people in such despair aren’t thinking straight…maybe getting a little straight talk and a challenge from the Hook will be enough to let them tie a knot in that lifeline and hold on a bit longer…sometimes a little time is all it takes.
    Well done, Hook. Well done
    (but seriously you’re going to blow your cover…we know your potential reaches far past casual blogging.)

    • The Hook says:

      I was inspired to write this by.. well, I don’t really know what brought this on, but my image be damned, it had to be written.
      Thanks, old friend.

      • Those who dare, gain much…(RC will probably claim that one)
        Ellen Degenere: missing a bet here for inspirational, life changing, everyday heroes.
        A remarkable man treading water in a vast sea of humanity – one who calmly observers, does his job, sharpens his wit with such easy targets,yet maintains his soul. On occasion, steps out of the shadows and throws lifelines to people – wakes up others.
        All this while inspiring his daughter, an emerging writer of life.
        There’s the guest to interview, Ellen. Here’s the story. What he has seen and learned. Superhero at the bell stand.

      • The Hook says:

        Wow. You honor me beyond words, my dear, sweet friend. I’m speechless.

      • you’re linked in today’s post.
        Seriously, we ought to change our Ellen approach? Working on that….

  23. REDdog says:

    Powerful…like the Falls…Respect

  24. Nice job. I visited the falls and never thought of jumping. The roar of the water and the power would have convinced me otherwise if I was so inclined. A very sacred place.

  25. Wonderful letter, Robert. I pray it will touch those who need to hear it.

  26. Christmas SUUUUUCCCCKKKKS! for people who aren’t coupled-up, whose parents have passed on, who don’t have a big extended family to do all those “Kodak moment” holiday things with, etc.

    I’ll have my daughter on Christmas Eve Eve (Christmas “double-eve”?) and most of Christmas Eve day, so that will be really nice, then I’ll go (if the roads are good) visit an extended family clan of people that I’ve been friends with for 30 years, on Christmas Day afternoon. But yeah, the dark cloud that many of us live under year-round is ten times, a hundred times, darker during the holidays.

    I deal with it by singing perverted lyrics to Christmas songs, by flipping my friends the bird while saying “Season’s Greetings”, by getting impaired and listening to Martina McBride’s Christmas album (her versions of “Do You Hear What I Hear?” and “O Holy Night” almost make me want to go to church).
    Well done, Hook, very well done, and necessary.

    • vmadefree says:

      In the past Christmas has been VERY hard on me as well. This year is better but it hurts my heart to know that there are people out there suffering like I used to suffer. I wish I knew what to do to make the holidays better for those who might be lonely and depressed.

      I originally logged on this morning to read someone else’s blog for Christian morning devotion and perhaps post a few words in my own blog. Instead I ended up here and I don’t think it is an accident. Reading this post has inspired me to reach out to the lonely and hurting souls to tell them in some way, that it’s not about situational perfection or the ability to buy things, it’s about the hope for humanity that Jesus Christ brought when He was born. A family is not defined strictly by those sharing bloodlines but those who bond together for mutual comfort and support.

      The intangible gifts that come without price are the only ones worth keeping and sharing and regardless of who you are, where you are or what you have, love, joy peace and purpose are yours for the taking.

  27. Deborah the Closet Monster says:

    Oh, Hook. You had to go and make me cry.

    Thanks for that.


  28. Nidhi says:

    “There’s always hope.” You’re right, Hook. No matter how sucky one’s life is, there is always hope

  29. Aussa Lorens says:

    Well said, and so true. It’s a cruel sort of irony that a place so beautiful could also offer such a sinister choice. Christmas has always been one of the most difficult times for me… though this year is better. It’s important for people to acknowledge this reality and extend help and community to those who need it.

    This might be TMI, but part of my job is actually tracking people in our community who commit suicide. It’s so draining and sad, especially when tracing back their lives and trying to understand through doctor’s notes and therapy sessions how it all happened… I’m fearful of this time of year, to say the least.

    Thanks for writing this and reminding everyone that there’s always another side, always hope.

  30. Daile says:

    Beautiful Hook. I am without many more words to say about this. It really touched me. Thank you for writing it.

  31. Nadia says:

    Hook, touching. Thank you for this.

  32. katecrimmins says:

    As a new reader I didn’t know that you venture into these serious waters. I thought you were just a fellow wacko. Boy, was I wrong! Very powerful post and beautifully written from the heart.

  33. Great post, and you summed it up………”There is always hope.” My guess is you helped a lot of people today.

  34. shinobiswordsman says:

    Deep thoughts. Deep as the waters you describe, it seems. Good post

  35. Great to have you with us, Robert. You’re right that living is hard work, but it’s definitely worth the hard work. I hope your post touches millions of hearts and allows them to keep on living, one day at a time.

  36. It is very sad. I have never thought that Niagara Falls would be a place where someone would choose to end their lives. Thank you for bringing this to light. Maybe in the future people who are aware of this situation will be able to save someone’s life.

  37. SocietyRed says:

    This is beautiful. Thank you.

  38. Lulu says:

    Reblogged this on Amateur and commented:
    Beautiful, sad, uplifting…..I felt a lot reading this. So many lost souls walking beside us and I can only hope that through writers like you and so many others , with love and acceptance maybe souls will be saved.

  39. Geordiebird says:

    Thank you for posting that. I have attempted suicide and am thankful everyday that I am alive. I have been to hell but I kept going and come through the other end a stronger person. Depression is the hardest thing to face but recovery is achievable.
    This is my blog about my battle with my mental health, my memories of abuse and my ultimate recovery.
    The strongest smile is the one that holds back a tough girls tears…

  40. gettingontheladder says:

    Raw, honest and beautiful. No doubt there will be people here you have helped and not even known it.

  41. rarasaur says:

    Just an echo of what others have said… but this is beautiful, indeed.

  42. elizabethweaver says:

    Courageous caring post, and the accompanying image is stunning.
    Thank you.

  43. Cameron says:

    I wish Glenn had stayed long enough to read that. The hole his death punched in the world won’t ever really heal. I assume it’s the same every time someone chooses to extinguish their light.

  44. esmemar31 says:

    An amazing message for those who are feeling down. Thank you for your kind words.

  45. Reblogged this on Notorious Natalie and commented:
    Everyone needs to read this

  46. I honestly never thought I would find something so beautifully and perfectly written, I’m glad someone could say it and express it the way you did. Thank you for posting this.

  47. shellahudaya says:

    Every single year in this past 8 years I hated Christmas, because since my mother passed away I often felt lonely on Christmas. Reading your post today make me realized that I have to see Christmas in a different way. 🙂

  48. seleceana says:

    I’m not a regular reader of this blog. In fact, I stumbled across it by complete chance. However…I’d like to believe this was intentional, somehow. The holiday season always makes me lonely and miserable but this year seems particularly bad. In all honesty I might not have chosen to see the new year. So thank you for this reminder of sorts, thank you for making me think and see for just one moment. It really helped me.

  49. This truth was worth hearing. Thank you for speaking it. No other accolade is needed.

  50. Sir I could see many more like mr struggling with life, and your post one of the best post and I really feel this message to be passed to all, thats what I say in blogs too

  51. Reblogged this on inspiration and commented:

  52. Bruiseviolet says:

    Thank you for this. However as others mentioned the word coward is not at all fitting of someone who is suicidal or who has committed suicide. As a mother of a daughter who is a suicide survivor, using words like that only plays into others ignorance about suicide (ie that its selfish etc)

    I’ve also often wondered what last thoughts are. As the man was falling was he feeling numb or did he think “oh shit” and regret it or hope he lived?

  53. maryangelis says:

    Dear Fellow Colleague in Hospitality,

    How very fortunate to find you here.
    One of my favorite musicians, Al Stewart, once said that there are no good songs or bad songs; it’s just that some songs are perfect truths. From the first sentence of your blog I just felt that you had a perfect truth going here, and it made me trust your writing right away, in the sense of relief one gets when realizing that someone really IS at the wheel up there and knows how to steer this bus.

    Let’s see, the coward part. Hm. There is 180 degrees of reasons for choosing to die, or choosing to live; there is a whole spectrum of shades of virtue. In the excellent book “The Zookeeper’s Wife” (true story) a couple saved countless numbers of Jewish neighbors from the Warsaw Ghetto, and always carried one cyanide pill apiece so they’d never be forced to divulge the names of other people in the underground. They weren’t cowards though.
    A war journalist friend of mine made a study of everyone she knew who committed or attempted suicide, the cases where a person was resilient and had a strong will and no history of depression. She finally found one thread in common: all had suffered, at some point in life, a serious head injury. All of them. The ones who were rescued in time went right back to work being war journalists or cooks in refugee camps or medevac pilots.

    But back to you.
    What a good post, honestly. This may be the most important work you have ever done in your very own individual branch of the hospitality industry.

    And by the way, at any party, any hotel, any tour, any street — the most interesting people are the ones holding it all together and watching the action from backstage. One of the best treats in life is noticing and talking to those people behind the scenes. Because they know where it’s at. They know.

    Blessings in a beautiful season, much appreciation,

    • The Hook says:

      Thank you for touching my heart with your compassion and understanding, Mary.
      I’ve always hoped to link up with brothers and sisters-in-arms. You’ve made my week!

  54. Beautifully said. It’s a shit of a thing, isn’t it? On the one hand, it is cowardly, cause, yep, living’s bloody tough, and suicide is somewhat of an easy way out. But on the other side, it’s understandable, cause depression doesn’t go away. Sometimes it stays forever. And when you’re in a down phase, looking up, or forward, or somewhere where the walls aren’t black, is effectively impossible. I don’t bloody know. It’s just so sad.

  55. I love you. In the Lord, I love you.

  56. Fred says:

    Robert, this was an absolutely beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing.

  57. glorialynnae says:

    As a person who suffers from depression, the holidays are never easy. Although I have never ascertained the thought of suicide, I know I have had days of despair. There are many that you have reached out to with your words and for that, I Thank You.

  58. Author Catherine Townsend-Lyon says:

    JUST WOW HOOK!! With the humor aside, what a beautiful, touching post. Interesting, I was getting my post ready for tomorrow, and it also touches on suicide. I wish I could say that I was in High School when I had my 2 close calls. Sadly addiction can take you to a Dark place, but…..the LORD had better plans for me, hence, I’m still here busting YOUR chops Hook!! The holidays is a very tough time for those who are alone. I wish I could say it wasn’t so……Hugs & Blessings!
    *Catherine* XoXo

    • vmadefree says:

      Hello Catherine,
      I am so glad you chose to LIVE and not dies and declare His works!

      • Author Catherine Townsend-Lyon says:

        Why thanks for coming by! Our lord gets the Glory for me still being here to share continue to share his *HOPE* that was also given to me. 🙂

  59. Author Catherine Townsend-Lyon says:

    Reblogged this on *Recovery Ramblins Blog Of ~ Author Catherine Lyon* and commented:
    Just a Beautiful, Painful Share. I love “THE HOOK” and his blog. It’s wonderful for him to always be thinking of others who may feel lost around *The Holidays*…….Thanks HOOK for always being a *Bright Light* in my Life & Recovery!

  60. Hook, this has touched my soul. You’ve done a great deal by talking to the many of us who have thought oif ending their lives in some way or the other. Am sure, it must be difficult to look at the pretty falls and not think of the falls, people have made to drown their lives in those deep waters. “Life is hard. Living takes courage.” is so powerful. Thank you for sharing this and am glad you got freshly pressed

  61. sdobie says:

    Thank you
    each lonely person seeks a place and a time and a connection, whether it is human or the natural world, or an exit.

  62. kmrandita says:


  63. Shelley Kiff says:

    Reblogged this on ShelleyMarie x and commented:
    Such a powerful article!

  64. Trigeminy303 says:

    Hello Hook..I am a new follower of yours 🙂 You have reached me to the deepest and darkest parts of my soul with this post. And as you said, there’s always hope. Thank you so much for his wonderful post! 🙂

  65. abdulsameee says:

    Reblogged this on abdulsameee.

  66. wisejourney says:

    So thoughtfully And eloquently written and summed up so beautifully in te line…..

    Life is hard. Living takes courage.

    Have a peaceful and warm holiday with your family Robert

  67. aFrankAngle says:

    Your powerful words from your heart strike so many cords, I don’t know where to start. Maybe the best thing is to say well done … and if this helps one person, consider your job a success.

  68. vmadefree says:

    First I want to say, you write beautifully. But you said it yourself: sometimes, oftentimes in fact, words are not enough. I’ve never been to Niagara Falls, of course I’ve heard of it’s fame. Your words make me want to go but I doubt if I was ever determined to throw myself over your words could dissuade me. That kind of despondency requires a power beyond human intervention.

    Many people, maybe even you, don’t believe that such a power exists. I know it does because I was saved from my own, personal Niagara Falls, so to speak. Many of us don’t go over the rail all at once – we drown over the course of time bucket by bucket. But there is a Power that can give us purpose and hop. The name of that power is Jesus Christ. You sound like an intelligent man so I won’t belabor you with my proselytizing. If you’d like to know more please see my blog “Wholesome Holistic Holiness.”

    Thank you for an enjoyable read.

  69. papapound says:

    Living takes courage. So right it does. As you read this, may you have courage, may you take courage into your heart. A fully alive heart is what courage is about. Take courage, if you are down or out, this too shall pass. It will pass. There is a new year coming.

  70. Your words have brought me to tears.. I lost my one and only beautiful sister on Christmas and I must say to me Christmas is a day to celebrate and put a smile on peoples faces, one small attribution to her beloved and amazing soul. I must say though, you saying that suicide is “cowardly” is a bit too faulty. It takes a lot of courage to take ones own life away.. I believe at that point a person has lost all kinds of sensation.. Although I am totally and 100% against suicide and I think it is an easy escape from life and no matter how hard life gets we should be able to at least believe in hope of a better tomorrow, I still think a suicide is not an act of a coward.

    • The Hook says:

      Indeed it isn’t.
      I merely felt I would have been engaging in a cowardly act at that time because I was too afraid to live.
      All the best to you and yours, my friend.

  71. The Waiting says:

    Robert, thank you so much for these words. Absolutely beautiful. You are such a good soul, and I’m so glad that this post was FP’d.

  72. The Falls sound beautiful. I will never again make an attempt to end my existence but few days ever go by where I don’t wish those who wronged me so had just been merciful and killed me. It might be nice to one day see the majestic Falls. Unless god himself heeds my prayers before then.

    • The Hook says:

      I hope you find the peace that appears to have eluded you, my friend.

      • Peace in (for me) is but an illusion easily and often stripped away by the very system meant to protect law abiding citizens. Peace is something i fear i shall never know. But thank you for the wish and words.

  73. Reblogged this on meanlittleboy2 and commented:
    Everybody born on earth were lost and then found. For Jesus said,”unless a man is born again they will never look upon the face of God ? We will never know the father unless we know the son!!” The Cross is the bridge we must cross to become Holy enough to meet GOD.


  75. 3bones says:

    I found this post difficult to read and acknowledge … at first. As one of the family members left behind after suicide, not once but three times (my younger brother and two first cousins), I know the pain of those left behind, and from different perspectives.

    So many unanswered questions that the survivors of a completed suicide yearn to have the answers for, until the eventual realization brings the fact that those particular answers will never be known. Like Vanessa in an earlier comment on your post, I had great disdain for your use of the word coward, until I re-read the entire post and realized that your preceding quote to the paragraphs discussing cowardice, actually held the most hope in this difficult subject … “Living is hard its true, but nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight.” I hope this one line from your post is the one line that anybody considering suicide as an alternative to fighting for their life, brings them to seek the help that they need to realize that choosing their life is worth fighting for. They do matter, and their life matters as well.

    Hopefully your post and this one quotable line will bring them that realization. A difficult read, but a worthy one … thank you.

    • The Hook says:

      Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt, my friend. I appreciate your input and i have been touched deeply by it.
      Thank you.

  76. Powerfully and empathically written.

    You mention Jesus’s death, and your take on it bothers me. I hope you will not take this as an imposition, but I feel the need to retell that story. You talk as if you know the Biblical narrative. Recall that Jesus begs the Heavenly Father to ‘take this cup from me’, but concludes ‘not my will, but your be done’. He could have quit, but he didn’t–and thus we have hope for Salvation. Christ, ‘for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning it’s shame’ and is now seated at the right hand of God. Had he not died, and rose again, then Christmas would be futile indeed.

    We, on the other hand, must do the opposite, and as you say, live–not so much for us, but for Christ and for others.

    I don’t mean to belittle anyone’s pain since I have dealt with depression myself. I simply felt the need to clarify your thought.

  77. florcafe says:


    I wish I had such beautiful words to express what I think and feel about Suicide. This post struck a nerve not bc I have ever felt like this but bc one of my best friends lost all hope.

    Thank you for the words.

  78. Thank you so much for this. It was so beautiful, honest, and important. I have no words to describe how glad I am that I found this. Thank you!

  79. doublenutty says:

    Very moving. Thank you for your honesty.

  80. Robert, a provocative post. Never have I thought about the falls as a means to the end. My mind has always visioned the falls as a romantic place that newlyweds visit to start a life. This time of year is horrible for many, I am drafting a post in this regard today. Suicide has crossed my mind many times, I am without extended family and my children are raging with HATE toward me. What has stopped me is because I have seen dead bodies, most recently in a hospital this past September when a dear friend crossed over, my husband and myself stood at his bedside when his soul left for a better place. I would never want my husband to find me in that state intentionally. Also because I died twice when I was stabbed, (I only remember one ) when I began to cross over it was a BEAUTIFUL feeling of love and peace. I AM AFRAID should I take my life it could be a different experience. I could remain in a dark place of consciousness, and maybe never to cross over to to the peaceful place I experienced laying on that hospital bed in a chaotic ER room. But for many its their way out of a very unfair and dark place they have found themselves in. I don’t feel its selfish like many claim. Some just don’t see another option to deal with another moment of existence.

    • The Hook says:

      As always, Becki, you have amazed me with your depth of emotion and unrelenting spirit.
      Thank you, for stopping by and weighing in.

  81. Deena Siddle says:

    Wonderfully written so glad you are here.

  82. Beautifully written. This deserved to be recognized.

  83. Let us not over generalize about cowardice \ suicide. Some folks do suffer serious mental health conditions…suicide the most serious symptom.

    • The Hook says:

      I agree. I’m not an expert, just a neophyte trying to make a difference.

      • I appreciate your humble response. Its a frustrating topic…just like the report of @ 20 veterans a day commit suicide.. The numbers are indeed mind boggling and very disturbing. All the pain left for family members to bear.

  84. You write beautifully, Robert. This post struck a chord because a relative committed suicide last summer, a jumping death but not at Niagara Falls. I think about her often. Her death shook me as outwardly she was one of the happiest, smiliest people I knew. There were no warning signs, she was happy and smiley until the moment she died. I have been to Niagara Falls and I was astounded by their beauty.

    • The Hook says:

      We can never truly penetrate another’s heart and mind without permission, I suppose.
      Thank you for honoring me with your presence and input.

  85. Pingback: An Open Letter To The Lost. | helceng

  86. helceng says:

    I like your writing style of this post and words like this”living is hard its true, but nothing worth having come without some kind of fight.”

  87. 143DJgs says:

    Reblogged this on Seven and commented:
    (No words to really satisfy the realization I had just felt. Thank you for writing and sharing this.)

  88. Atiq Alborz says:

    This is beautifully written. Not many think of the lost, especially this time of year. The lost can feel like the world is passing them by. You have shown they are not forgotten. Beautiful.

  89. Well done Hook. Proud to know you.

  90. ladylxk says:

    Reblogged this on Ladylxk.

  91. very touching.whatever happens life goes on

  92. billieazahir says:

    You write with honesty and heart. Thumbs up from me cause I dig that a lot. 🙂

  93. Pingback: Lotta, lotta lambs. (Baa. Baa. Baa.) | Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

  94. This story is very inspirational, for anyone who has given up on life. You have hit a Plato of admiration and of encouragement for those who

  95. Sun says:

    thank you, Hook, may this reach out and help those who find themselves in such a hurtful moment that you experienced early on in life. powerful.

  96. lensgirl53 says:

    Are you kidding me?? Do you really think the irrational mind of someone suicidal will be reading warnings from “good-intentioned” bloggers? And I take offense to the word “coward.” It takes someone brave to face the final step….their final breath. How come society uses phrases like “battled cancer” or “fought the good fight” as if any other disease was a noble undertaking and yet, ill-informed people condemn the mentally ill?

    And “lost” is not a good word, either. My son was not “lost”…in the spiritual sense he was as found as any other Christian. He knew Christ and knew exactly where he was going when he died but in his prayer journals he begged God to help him …to help him “not destroy” himself. His was not a character flaw or lack of faith…his was chemical imbalance or the misfiring of neurons in the frontal lobe. There are many facets of suicide. I hope you will read up on them otherwise you will be heartlessly condemning and judging those who succumb…who never meant to harm anyone not even themselves.

    Your words will never be known to those who actually die by suicide, instead, they will be read by those of us who grieve and die each day without our loved ones, wishing we also had the “braveness” of mental illness to follow them to heaven.

    • The Hook says:

      Again, my apologies for upsetting you. I wish you nothing but the best.
      To everyone else reading this: lensgirl53 and I have since settled our differences privately.

  97. Wow. Just, wow. I’m so glad you still exist. What a tragedy that the man jumped. You are right. Life does take courage. It really does. But just as life hands us lemons, it also hands us miracles. It takes work sometimes to turn away from the shadows to momentarily glimpse at the sun which is trying to get our attention…. We have to be willing to see our own worthiness and receive the blessings life is trying to gift us. I find regardless of our background or conditioning, it seems to very much be the Human condition to deem ourselves unworthy and it is ultimately about seeing and embracing our own light as we journey to realize our highest potential- that has been my experience.

    You are such a gifted and multi-talented writer. Thank you for sharing yourself.

    Much love,

  98. Reblogged this on metaphorical marathons and commented:
    Beautiful, but heartbreaking, piece. Needed these words tonight to remind me of the human experience.

  99. Pingback: Heartless Ignorance (warning) | Suicide ....Causes and Effect

  100. emmx2013 says:

    Thanks for sharing.
    Here’s to Your Health!

    • The Hook says:

      Thank you, Evelyn for your support. I touched a nerve with this one and not everyone feels as strongly as you about my work.
      You rock!

  101. susielindau says:

    Freshly Pressed and the Bloggess in a week? Things are looking up!
    What an excellent article. I could feel the darkness in your words. I hope this touches some that may be feeling down this holiday season..
    Sorry I missed this! I was in the middle of making my Christmas cards… 🙂

  102. Denise says:

    I’m truly mystified by the “this is beautiful” etc., responses to this post. So you tried to commit suicide, and now you’re an expert on living? I don’t know anyone who’s killed themselves, but I tried to when I was 21. And having been in that much pain, I get why people see that as the only way out. Desperate, overwhelmed, hopeless, unspeakably lonely no matter who’s around; that’s how I’d describe someone who commits suicide.

    Cowardly? That’s a harsh and cruel judgment from someone who claims to have been there. And since it’s the living that have to cope with the tragedy of a lost loved one, writing with compassion is what’s called for, not being judge and jury of something you apparently know nothing about. Life is NOT warmth and laughter – yes, there is warmth and laughter, but if you think life is “cheeseburgers” you’re not paying attention. And I doubt the cow that’s in the “void” you so despise thinks life had ANY warmth or laughter.

    Suicide is not the answer, but self-righteous blather does nothing but make others feel good about joining with you in that righteousness. You know what the “void” you call death is? And how is that? Anyone who’s ever gone near that void through an NDE will tell you otherwise.

    And I already saw one response you wrote to someone who disagreed: “This is my opinion!”

    Now, THAT is the coward’s way out.

    • 2Karl says:

      Thank you Denise. I was feeling slightly angry having read the blog post above. As one who has contemplated suicide regularly over the years, and attempted it more than once, I was incensed at the tired epithet of “coward”, which is usually bandied about by those who have no idea about suicide victims or their motivation. I was going to post an angry comment, but you have already voiced exactly what I wanted to say. So thank you again.

      • emmx2013 says:

        I am touched by your courage and tenacity in holding on. I believe there is purpose to every life and that by hookiing up with God we have a good chance of fulfilling that purpose.
        Best wishes for a fulfilling life.
        Here’s to Your Health!

      • 2Karl says:

        God had nothing to do with it. No life has inherent purpose, it is down to us to create our own. Only by doing this will we attain fulfilment.

      • emmx2013 says:

        Speaking from my own experience, i found that my will was not sufficient. I find guidance and direction by reading Scripture, conversation with others, and by an inner voice or conviction that I think comes from God’s Spirit. I think God used my worst times as ways to make a better person of me. Gotta close and get back to KU basketball.

      • 2Karl says:

        Don’t you see? Your will WAS sufficient, because that’s ALL there was. Why would you belittle your own achievement by assuming that an imaginary being had a divine hand in it. YOU survived, because YOU were strong.

      • emmx2013 says:

        My strength when weak came from God, infusing me. I wasn’t able to conjure up strength.

      • 2Karl says:

        You’re not listening. You WERE able to conjure up the strength. It was YOUR strength, it was ALWAYS your strength.

      • Denise says:

        I just wanted to say thank you; and that I see things the way you do – the point of life is what we make it to be. We can make it about making a lot of money, being successful in everyone else’s eyes (however we define “success”) or a myriad of other ways, depending upon what we see as important. I’ve long struggled with what it means to be human, and then my son died. Do I think “God” took him? No. We’re all going to die. So I’m heartbroken, devastated and changed. And it’s up to me what meaning I make in my life in the aftermath of it all.

      • 2Karl says:

        Exactly. Trying to find meaning in the meaningless drove me to the edge of death; realising that I could add meaning to the meaningless pulled me back again.

      • The Hook says:

        You both seem like decent souls. I’m glad your mutual anger towards my work could bring you together. Have a Merry Christmas, folks.

    • The Hook says:

      Thank you for stopping by and weighing in, everyone, this coward appreciates it. Have a Merry Christmas.

  103. Reblogged this on dancing quill and commented:
    “Living is hard its true, but nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight.

    Dying is easy”

    • The Hook says:

      Thank you, my friend. My words have captivated some, angered others and left some shaking their heads at my “wisdom”.
      This post was my opinion and only my opinion. Some may call that cowardly, but it is what it is. Thanks again for seeing the intent behind this post and for sharing it.

      • it may speak to some more than others, while some take a longer time to come around and understand. Never apologize for having an opinion! 🙂

  104. Reblogged this on bethanyalice and commented:
    Very well written and a great blog post! XOXO, B

  105. hapoel1927 says:

    Please check out my posts that will be uploaded on a weekly basis if you are interested in soccer

  106. “Life is bacon cheeseburgers, milkshakes, superhero movies and orgasms. The void doesn’t have any of these and should be avoided at all costs.”
    That is greatness. This piece is greatness. Thank you for seeing this issue from so many point of views. I know in doing that you have suffered. But your writing definitely feels healing to me. I’ve been there in that void that you so brilliantly describe and thankfully have made it out every time. Congrats on getting freshly pressed.

  107. It’s the time of the year when the pressure to be joyous and giddy and fun and excited rises it brings such unexplained burden. And after the typhoon tragedy in the Philippines, after so much loss, so many deaths, it just gets even harder to have a merry Christmas. But reading your piece, I must say hope is essential. Thank you for making us remember that no matter what kind of loss we face, there’s still light at the end of the dark tunnel.

    P.S. I once took my life (a long time ago). Having my kids and husband now, it doesn’t cross my mind anymore. Stay strong!

  108. Azfar007 says:

    Hi Hook… This is Azfar. This is the first time I read any of your writings, and frankly, I am happy I chose this one to be debutante. I am a student, of course with some interest in writing, such an interest that when family situations compelled me to pursue engineering instead of literature, I found it all too heavy on me. I went through the same mental trauma as you mentioned, not for the scarcity of love, but out of guilt of of my infidelity with my ambitions… But then, something prompted me to live- of course I did not stand on a waterfall railing- and I turned back from sunken-headedness to hope. And frankly my friend, today, although not in exactly desirable situations, I seem to have stabilized. I found your thoughts a bit harmonious with mine and that’s a thumbs up to us… With similar, not same, thoughts I wrote

    Hope you like it… 🙂

  109. Pingback: The Winner Takes It All | kissmeoutofdesire

  110. Thank you for this beautiful post. I am sorry that people visit your town with such bitter intentions instead of seeing the beauty and light in the reflections of the water. You have lifted my spirits with your intent to live! I needed that 🙂

  111. dmchale says:

    Your post was timely. You should know. Serving as the “bellman” to thousands of lost wanderers this holiday season, you lovingly and patiently open another door. Another possibility for so many.

    This is going to be a very weird Christmas.

    Today is December 21st. In three days, my wife and I will be traveling to San Jose to spend our 18th Christmas together with her family. I joke about it every year – you know, Christmas with the in-laws : a quintessential American holiday horror story – but the truth is, I look forward to this more than any day of the year. They are a warm, fun, and loving family and I love them with all my heart. They are the Norman Rockwell incarnation of Christmas. My own family…not so much. So forgive me if I generally get all warm and fuzzy this time of year. The memories are wonderful…the expectations filled with all things good and holy.

    Except this year. I don’t know how I am going to do anything but show up and immediately throw up

    Four days ago, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. I won’t go into her reasoning, but suffice it to say that she has a legitimate grievance about the man she thought she married. I was unfaithful. Not sexually. That would be something we might be able to work through. No, I was unfaithful to our happiness. Unfaithful to our dreams. Unfaithful to the strength she needed in a husband, the companionship she needed in a best friend. Unfaithful to the hope that was implied with vows spoken.

    I suffer from depression and have, over the years, become distant and unreachable. And God knows: she’s tried for years to find a way to navigate my dark waters. She’s given and given and given until her well ran dry. It will, I am certain, be a peaceful, non-contentious divorce. She needs, and deserves, something more. And what light there is within me wants desperately for this incredible woman to be happy. And we both know I am not the man for the job.

    Still, I think I am going to be sick. From the moment she uttered the word, I have been emotionally spiraling into new depths of depression. What once was a purple-black view of my life suddenly became pitch black and there is no light penetrating this veil of failure in losing the woman who has meant more to me than the air I breathe, even if I grew increasingly incapable of showing it. And in losing her, losing her family who has loved and embraced me for so many years.

    But we’ve made a strategic decision not to fuck up everyone else’s holiday by sharing this news on Christmas. It can wait until the New Year. So we plan to show up and make the best of it – put on a show for the sake of a loving tradition – that after this year, will simply be no more. I have no idea how I am going to pull this off as I am almost catatonic with grief. But for her sake, for the sake of so many wonderful memories and wonderful Christmases before, I’ll buck up and find a way.

    But sure as I love them, I know I’m going to be sick and simply throw up. Maybe we’ll blame it on her Aunt’s cooking. That would be so much more believable than accepting that next year…there weren’t be a Christmas with us in it.

    But because of your post, I will be somewhere next year. I just don’t know where at this moment.


    • The Hook says:

      I hope the new year brings with it new hope for you and your wife, Dennis.
      Thank you for renewing my faith in my writing and my life in general.
      All the best to you, my new friend.
      Try to hang in there. it has to get better, right?

  112. dmchale says:

    Reblogged this on The Winter Bites My Bones and commented:
    There is light at the end of every tunnel, even if you can’t see it right now.

  113. Pingback: An Open Letter to the Lost | Random thoughts from an unstable mind

  114. touchoftori says:

    Come check out the video I post from Google recapping 2013! Its so interesting everyone should watch it (very short)

  115. Pingback: Freshly Riffed 61: This Is It, Boys, This Is War | A VERY STRANGE PLACE

  116. Logan says:

    A nice article. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. 🙂

  117. Pingback: Why I Believe | Sammi Talk

  118. Reblogged this on Homie Williams. and commented:
    — J.W.

  119. khudson10 says:

    Times are always tough, even more so at Christmas time, there is a very old movie about a married couple in the depression era, there was no work, they had no money, no food, and nothing to give each other for Christmas, the only thing they had was the woman’s beautiful long hair, so one day in desperation, she went to the wig maker and had it all cut off so she could get some money to buy food for Christmas.

    I felt like that woman, my insurance company (on income insurance due to dreadful illness) left me with no money, and I had to sell some of my things to get by and have food to give to my family for Christmas, times are tough, I am sure there were many reasons why this person took their own life, I can understand some of them.

    Nice Article.

  120. My Muted Voice says:

    You articulated the depth of despair so well. You can tell that you truly understand that moment where you think all is lost. I’ve been there too, but clearly decided to fight.

    I hope you did strike a nerve. I hope they read this. Most of all, I hope they fight.

  121. MissPuppyDoc says:

    I want to give you a hug for writing this. Yes. I think I will give you a hug.

  122. thisoldtoad2014 says:

    Reblogged this on thisoldtoad.

  123. thisoldtoad2014 says:

    i would think, you have it wrong… It is you… which has been hooked…

  124. There’s the bravery needed to live with everyday life, sure, but unless someone has experienced serious clinical depression, they have no idea what it is. And when someone is there, feeling hope doesn’t really come into it.
    Having said that, I experience gratitude that my severe depression never reached the point of suicide, and that I am still alive.

  125. Pingback: An Open Letter To The Lost. | I Like Pretty Colours

  126. thank you. From a Daughter who will always wonder why?

  127. Pingback: The nurturer, the warrior and the blogger | The Monster in Your Closet

  128. irishtitan3 says:

    Reblogged this on irishtitanamg.

  129. companysin says:

    Wow, thank you Robert for taking the time to write and share that. That was really beautiful.
    My partner is at a very difficult point in life and is unable to confront her past 10 years but knows she needs to. I read your blog at the right time as it has given more even more strength to help her get through it.
    Thank you.

    • sarahklum says:

      You should read my GFs blog not many have been through all she has and have come out the other end like she has. 🙂 Might help her and you who knows.
      That’s her a real good story of past and success she still struggles but I doubt many would not struggle with the shit she has been through.

      • companysin says:

        Thank you Sarahklum, I’ve started reading her blogs and feel incredibly connected to her writing. She is such a beautiful and strong willed person and I know it will help my partner (and also me)

        I want to devote more time to read her writing and to truly feel her words once I am at home with no interruptions.

    • The Hook says:

      No, thank you, for sharing your troubles and your insights.

  130. John Moore says:

    Very moving, thank you, so much, for writing this. Will be reblogging via wordpress so others can find your great site.

  131. John Moore says:

    Reblogged this on Musings of John and commented:
    Moving, thought-provoking, post.

  132. imAndre says:

    Reblogged this on And Then Life Happens and commented:
    Suicide is not just for the depressed. It’s for anyone who feels hopeless. It’s for those who truly genuinely feel that everything and everyone is just going against them. It’s when you truly feel that there is no way out, and there is no future to look forward to. This blog post successfully shows the emotion of suicide: what it feels when you contemplate that option, and the emotions that run through the ones you leave behind.

    Please help raise awareness about suicide. For those who do not understand, do not hastily judge that it’s a mental condition, or a breakdown of some sort. Far from it. It is what could be the end of a long struggle, a losing battle, and suicide might be the only option they think they have when all others have failed.

  133. Why?Matters! says:

    I am more that happy to know that more people are out there like you to share this topic. Our to fast going time causes more thoughts about suicide than politician and CEO/Bosses can imagine.
    Many could be saved if someone sit down and listen!

  134. Robin says:

    Coward is eternally embedded. Thank you.

  135. kelbylyn says:

    Reblogged this on kelbylyn and commented:
    Find hope in yourself and those who surround you.

  136. curvyroads says:

    This was beautifully written and incredibly direct and honest. I hope that it does bring someone in need the hope to carry on.

  137. nayasamara says:

    This was a very powerful post, I am certain many people can relate to the feelings you described! your choice in using “coward” to describe the people who choose to take away there lives instead of fighting for happiness, could be interpreted to be overly harsh or offending to some. However, it is enticingly honest and definitely serves its purpose, well done.

  138. celina28 says:

    Reblogged this on Feather Bridges to The Silence and commented:
    As the world is governed by entropy and negativity, destruction, and hopelessness are the easiest things to latch onto, take the road less traveled. Live, despite life’s almost inherent impossibility. You may not conquer it, but you can exist with and within it.

  139. Madhu says:

    Thank you for this beautiful, heartfelt message Hook. Truly worthy of being Freshly Pressed. Congratulations! And have a great year ahead.

  140. bluesage63 says:

    I love your writing style. Fairly new to Blogging I am still learning. As a SS survivor 46 years ago I appreciate your candor and humor in a basically humorless situation. Yet, my sense of humor has helped me continue living to this day,and the thought of not having my beautiful children and the rest of my life,with it’s experiences, be they good or bad. I am happy to have found your work, and look forward to reading much more. Happy New Year!

  141. Anon. says:

    I really need to get back to Niagara Falls. I remember how much I loved the sound.

  142. Scott says:

    Although I realize I’m a little late to this particular blog, I found your words to be very heartfelt and personal. Having both felt this hopelessness myself at a few times in my life, and also “talked down” others trapped in their own dark emotions, I can empathize with your words. While tough love can be a useful technique, I have found that using the term “coward” can often not have the response one hopes for though. Sometimes someone can feel that they are irredeemable and the “brave” thing to do for everyone in their life is to enter that void you refer to. While this is rarely (if ever) true, if this is the point one finds themselves at, calling them a coward would probably be the wrong tact to take.

    I am not trying to say anything negative about your blog though, as its words were very heartfelt and would speak to many of those lost souls who may read it. Just as there are many reasons one can fall into a depression severe enough to take one’s life, so there are just as many techniques to help prevent such actions. Living in such a beautiful location as Niagra Falls though, I commend you for acknowledging how intensely its awesome beauty can be a siren call to the lost souls that wander our world. Despite anything I wrote that may sound like a criticism, please know that it wasn’t meant to be that….your blog was very beautifully stated and obviously from the heart.

  143. minervaleone says:

    Reblogged this on anything and everything and commented:

  144. This is truly an amazing post – given the nature of my own blog – I feel your passion and heartfelt meaning when you write this. When I got lost – I cried out. And that’s how I ended up on WordPress. It’s posts like this that really touch me – and I’m really truly appreciative that I read it.

  145. This was an amazing piece, I’ve at times been very lost and let my dark thoughts overcome me. I’m glad I read this.

  146. CatDeeDeeDee says:

    This is an amazing letter. I struggle with thoughts of suicide, and seriously, this letter reminded me that not only would family and friends care that I died, but strangers who don’t even know me care enough to say something. Thank you for writing this. You’re awesome!

  147. love this. I’m new on here. Check me out if ya want.

  148. Reblogged this on how depression affects life and commented:
    If this saves just one person today it’s worth it!

  149. Mahesh Nair says:

    Your writing’s full of power!! Your voice gets a strong base because you’d ‘been there, done that’ without doing that. You’d successfully come out of it and others too can if they wanted to. Though the location here is Niagara Falls, your article’s universal appeal can stop anyone on planet Earth from ending their life. Thanks!

  150. maggie4228 says:

    Thank you for a such a wonderful and heartfelt post. When things are dark and bleak, we tend to forget about all the good things in life. It takes courage to go on and it’s hard to find the strength to do that sometimes. Thank you for reminding us that there’s always a better way.

  151. Pingback: Deep Blogosphere | The Write Might

  152. Pingback: Niagara Falls (there’s love, there’s mystery!) | The Write Might

  153. Pingback: An Open Letter To The Lost. | innervoiceoutloud's Blog

  154. Wonderful post. Your writing has power!

  155. jamieofjuly says:

    What a beautiful and touching piece.

  156. jaklumen says:

    I hadn’t seen this post yet… and I’m late to it.

    But I say that you speak the truth– coming from someone that had suicidal tendencies as a preteen and teenager.

  157. vividdreams98 says:

    Reblogged this on Dream Vividly.

  158. LoveForGrace says:

    beautifully written.. a brave and humble piece of writing ….

  159. richardcrain says:

    Great piece of writing. I see only hope in it. Jesus is my hope. Thank you for sharing!

  160. This helped me.
    Thank you

  161. SooSooSees says:

    Just read your moving post through The Write Might blog. Your thoughts are beautifully conveyed. There is hope, for everyone. You were wise to see beyond your then-present situation.

    I would like to make a comment on your thought that Jesus questioned his father’s wisdom. I re-read that part and don’t find that conclusion. Earlier, Jesus says, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Just before he dies, a criminal on the cross next to him believed him as God’s son and asked him to remember him when Jesus entered heaven. Jesus’ reply was, “Verily I say unto thee, today shalt thou be with me in paradise.”

    He knew he was dying for all of our sins. There is hope, in Jesus. Praying for the plight of others, our world leaders, a sick child, and any situation where there is a need … can be life-changing. Of course, there’s more to it, but a sincere prayer works wonders.

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