The last few days have been weird – and that’s saying a lot coming from me.
I’ve been slammed with 5×5 responses and the pressure of writing introductions worthy of my friends’ greatness has been ever-present in my mind. As for life at the hotel, it’s been business as unusual. In other words, it’s been as nutty as ever. A recent convention yielded this cool quote from a corporate drone with mistress envy:
“It takes balls of steel to take your porn star girlfriend to the company’s annual out-of-town convention and then bring your wife to the company Christmas party. I admire Steve for doing that. Why can’t I do something like that?”
And of course, you know I wasn’t about to let that one drop…
“You want to be like Steve? Correct me if I’m wrong, sir, but isn’t Steve a douchecopter for having a girlfriend and a wife?”
Sure enough, my logic was irrefutable….
“Uh, yeah, I guess he is. You know what, boss? You’re pretty smart! You shoot from the hip. I like that!”
STEVE’S GIRLFRIEND BORE AN UNCANNY RESEMBLANCE TO THIS YOUNG LADY, I SWEAR!
EXCEPT SHE HAD FEWER CLOTHES ON…
And of course, Nelson Mandela’s passing has brought out the best in people – with some exceptions, of course. Case in point, a young African American couple approached my desk yesterday to store their luggage, but instead found themselves besieged by a grey-haired old lady with good intentions – but little else.
“I just wanted to tell you young people how sorry I am for your loss. Did you know Mandela well?”
The young lady’s reaction was understandable, but unfortunately for her position, stereotypical.
“Say what, little old white lady?”
Fortunately, cool heads prevailed and no hate crimes were committed during what should have been a time of peaceful reflection and mourning. Trust me, it sucks trying to pry old ladies out of lobby garbage cans….
That’s all for now, folks. As of this writing, I have a thirteen-hour shift ahead of me and yes, it’s going to be as much fun as it sounds. Have a great weekend, friends.
See you in the lobby….
You've Been Hooked! 
Thirteen hours seems like a long time to have deal with the crazies. I hope you are at least able to keep warm now. No icicles hanging off The Hook!
Not yet, anyway!
Thanks, Michelle.
Ha ha. Oh your post made me smile. Yeah, the Mandela thing is getting out of hand…
And damn, why wasn’t I invited to that Christmas party?! Sounds like there were some awesome things going on there, ha ha.
Missed roaming around your blog.
Glad to have you here!
By the way, there will a few X-Mas parties raging on tonight so swing by the Falls on the Red Eye in you can…
Im on it! If i’ll make it in time, im buying you a drink 🙂
I could use it!
Me too, actually v
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I can’t help but wonder – does Steve’s wife know about his porn star girlfriend? Does she just turn a blind eye or what?! Ay yi yi.
I doubt she knows, but then again, how could she not?
Welcome to the modern world, Lindsay. Ay yi yi indeed…
I am wondering about how cool it would be to film some of these front desk antics. Could be funny. (Forget the girl friend /wife mess. I’m talking about the real funny stuff) I guess hotel policy would forbid it. Ah well still like to hear the stories.
I’d love to do a pseudo-reality series someday. We’ll see…
Thirteen hours of crazy lol. Have a blast Hook. Thanks for the Saturday smile!
Glad to be of service!
Grüße einen schönen zweiten Advent wünsche ich dir liebe Grüße Gislinde
Sie können nie lassen mich lächeln, mein Freund.
Vielen Dank!
That’s a hard shift to take. I wish you that it goes quickly, smoothly and with a heater close by! 🙂
Actually, things have been better since the new revolving door has been installed – THANK GOD!!
Unfortunately, people keep getting stuck in the door! However, it’s quite entertaining to observe, so I’m not complaining…
Revolving doors are… barrels of fun since Chaplin. Glad to know you don’t have to go through yet another reenactment of Disney’s Frozen. Plus, you get to witness some more human stupidity fighting off that door. Blog fodder. What’s not to like?
Hook, get yourself a GoPro and strap it to your head or something, imagine all the material you’ll have! REDdog
I need a James Bond spy-cam instead!
Oh man, it’s nuts!
There are more nuts per square inch at the hotel than at a Planters factory.
Ahaha! well never dull…
Hook! Hello 🙂 Hahaa. That’s quite a bunch of crazy you’ve got going on. Yes the man definitely IS a douchecopter for having a girlfriend and a wife! I died laughing at ‘say what little old lady?’ Hahaahahah! But 13 hours? Lord. That’s brutal. Take care of yourself.
Have a wonderful christmas 🙂
Thanks, I hope yours rocks as well!
Good luck!
Here’s something that you may enjoy:
http://hey-bad-batter-hey.tumblr.com/post/67286262460/imjustkt-iraffiruse-frozach-submitted-my
Thanks!
What if you did mad-lib style intros for the 5X5 posts, that way you don’t have to stress over it? 😀 As for Steve, I worked with a girl who looked just like that and wanted to be some guy’s porn star girlfriend… I wonder if it’s the same lady and she’s living the dream? 🙂
Most likely.
Race relations are fascinating, aren’t they?
All day long.
oh god…I hope that shift passed quick and painlessly. I can only assume that it’s all over now. 🙂
Everything but the crying…
Douchecopter….I know a few of those.
Yanno, I failed at marriage myself. But it was never about either of us being unfaithful, to which we are both quite thankful. Why do people get married if they’re going to behave like kids on spring break?
Well done, pal. As per usual.
Thanks, but the guests did all the heavy lifting. As usual.
You’re the rock star.
This is a sitcom! A very successful sitcom. I hope it’s coming to a station near me!
Me too!
Do you know any producers?
Only an egg producer. Won’t help with sitcoms.
Just my luck.
I do like eggs, though.
An older lady once assumed I adopted my bi-racial children from Africa, and while they are adopted, I got them right here in Texas. I didn’t have to heart to tell her we had our own black people…. LOL
Old folks, man….
Speaking of Mandela, you gotta love the phoney sign language translator who crashed the celebration…
indeed, so typical of the cronyism in our government, the man apparently has ‘high’ connections and is untouchable, even the police dockets disappear when he is charged with some crime. and someone slipped up enough to let him (with a history of violnce accusations and schizophrenia) onto the world stage.
The current jokes about it are pretty good though
I didn’t know that! I thought it was just a case of careless employment without checking the guy’s genuineness.
The ‘company’ that has now disappeared is alsso roumoured to be owned by some ANC bigwig, things are toatally out of hand here
Isn’t the ANC Mandela’s party? One would think someone like him would act against nepotism in his cohorts…
Mandela was 95, he retired frompolitics years ago and has had more status as a thought leader and icon. The ANC has degenerated into a corrupt government whish wastes public money granting tenders to buddies who don’t deliver, spending millions of the creation of a private ‘compound’ for the president, while OT delivering on the promises to the poor, basic housing, education, health care. So very much NOT what Mandela stood for. Did you hear President Banda of Malawi ? She more or less told off President Zuma for forgetting the basics of the ANC
Such a shame! A bit like learning that Amnesty International would secretly advocate for slavery… I hope that they come to their senses or that the people rise to overthrow them.
I wish we could get a change of government, this could be such a great ountry
well done for telling it how it is, Hook! It’s shitty to have a girlfriend and a wife, never mind the chutzpah. How weird about the Mandela incident. Good intentions, but incredible ignorance!
You gotta love old folks; they’re unfiltered and unapologetic.