ELVIS LIVES – AGAIN!

Who says lightning doesn’t strike the same spot twice?

What began as a seemingly-ordinary day of household renovations took a turn with a phone call that resulted in VampireLover’s second upcloseandpersonal encounter with the King of Rock ‘n Roll.

Yes, you read that correctly: my love felt the lips of Elvis Presley – via his mortal instrument, Stephen Kabakos – upon her quivering fan-girl flesh as he wiped his sweaty chest with yet another scarf. To say she was elated would be a gross understatement.

But I’ve jumped the line, folks; we need to take few steps back, in fact, we need to journey up a set of cracked wooden steps to a work-in-progress we refer to as our attic.

After years of pleading, nudging and finally, nagging, from the wife, I donned a makeshift Hazmat suit and began to remove layer upon layer of improperly laid insulation.

Good times.

“You’ve been working hard,” my angel declared as she watched the sweat drip from my pasty, Caucasian forehead, “I think I need to feed you.”

I’m an uncomplicated creature, boys and girls; the way to this man’s heart really is through the stomach.

And so we headed out, strapped on the proverbial feedbag, ran an errand or two and arrived home to a seriously ticked off canine – Chelsea isn’t a big fan of car rides that don’t involve her – and a message on the machine that sent VampireLover into a frenzy.

“Call Rick! Call Rick! Call Rick!”

Rick, for the uninitiated, is one of my fellow bellmen. Two of his American friends visit the hotel and the nearby gambling hall, occasionally and as a result, they often score extra tickets for shows.

See the bridge between VampireLover’s Elvis lip lock and a day of household chores?

The Real Deal? Either way, VampireLover didn’t care!

Rick’s friends not only rescued me from manual labor, at 3 p.m. that day,  they put the wife in seat 7, row 10, of the Avalon Ballroom, a location from which she launched Operation: Elvis Smooch, Part Two.

The show began with the same pizazz and raw Presley power as Sunday’s.

However, there were a few glitches that actually proved entertaining.

The King made a lyric substitution that resulted in a series of perplexed looks from audience members and one male back-up singer. To his credit, Elvis gave the audience one of those “What?” looks, followed by a lyrical “I better get back on track!” line that elicited a raucous chorus of laughter.

How a performer handles a flubbed verse is as important as any other facet of the act and the King never disappoints. And so the show went on, filled with the undeniable power of rock ‘n roll, until Suspicious Minds began.

At that point, my wife tensed up, moved to the edge of her seat and her mind began to formulate a plan….

And when a single back-up dancer emerged with a handful of scarves, that plan went into action. As it turned out, the King looked down from the stage and saw… nothing.

As it turns out, a theater full of geriatrics makes for slim pickings when it comes to audience participation. Fortunately for the King, my wife was more than willing to spring into action.

  • She stared in disbelief at the void in front of the stage
  • A single fan appeared to fill the void.
  • Determined to be the second, VampireLover let out a chorus of “Excuse me!”, as she climbed over six people to reach the aisle and begin her race to glory, careful to rip away her bounty, namely, the scarf she scored the last time, from her quivering neck.
  • Taking her place as second in line, she finally stood before Elvis, who not only awarded her a second moist scarf and a sacred smooch, he even grabbed the scarf and pulled her back for a second kiss!
  • Fighting to contain her joy – and failing miserably – my wife returned to me, her inner joy lighting up our small section of the ballroom.

The show wrapped up – in spectacular fashion – yesterday, but the wife’s glow has yet to subside. Once again, I’m not sure how I feel about watching my love smooch another man, but one thing is certain, anyone who can make her so happy really is the King in my book.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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51 Responses to ELVIS LIVES – AGAIN!

  1. The image of a pile of unattended Elvis scarves just may be the saddest thing I’ve ever read on the Internet. ::sniff::

    • One thing The Hook didn’t mention was that after I received my scarf then the women started coming up. I think it just took a couple of us before they realized you could go up to receive a scarf.

  2. mairedubhtx says:

    Congratulations to Jackie on the second scarf! And Robert, you ARE a good husband!

  3. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Great story and I am glad VL had a great time! 🙂

  4. susielindau says:

    She is lucky you don’t have “a suspicious mind.”

  5. What a Great 2 times the CHARM!! Good for her! Yes, I agree……Mr. Hook your an Awesome Hubby…..but I did like how you got out of your chores….that was pretty sly…..LOL…AND even though your wife was ELATED the 2nd time around, it’s nice to see that THE HOOK is not just ALL work and NO play! Thanks for another special SHARE 🙂 🙂 *Catherine*

  6. My husband has to watch me oooooze over Jonathan Richman and Oleg of The Red Elvises… He’s a good man 🙂

    Good story – you’re a good man too

  7. bardictale says:

    Wow. Third time’s a charm? XP

  8. Well, I’m guessing that the glow comes from returning to her seat and seeing what a great husband she has! 😉

  9. Elvis may be the King…but you’re a Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Bellman, Bro.

  10. Fearless leader said it all.

  11. Did she thank ya thank ya very much?

  12. bfg666 says:

    Hmm, does she ever act like that with you?

  13. List of X says:

    Will your wife be officially changing her name from VampireLover to something more Elvis-appropriate?

  14. Rohan 7 Things says:

    Ha! I don’t think any real man could have a problem with his honey getting a smooch from The King 🙂

    Rohan.

    • bfg666 says:

      Depends on what a “real man” actually is. One thing’s for sure, those who usually consider themselves real men (i.e. machos) wouldn’t go along with it.

      • Rohan 7 Things says:

        Ha! You’re right. I suppose when I think of a “real man” it would be more in terms of a guy who has the security and is self assured enough to not feel emasculated so easily, and to give his girl the freedom to have a little harmless fun.

        Good point though!

        Rohan.

      • The Hook says:

        You’re both right; I love it when that happens!
        As for me, I’m more than willing to let my wife have some fun. Lord knows, she deserves it after the year she’s had.

  15. Elvis Presley patted me on the head, said I was a cute baby, and then signed my mother’s hand. 36 years later, she’s still kicking herself in the ass for not letting him write on her t’shirt!! 🙂

  16. munchow says:

    Yes, I understand you biased feeling about seeing your love one smooch another man, but then on the other hand, seeing your love one glow, must make up for everything else. No? And then to get a second scarf! What a delight – even if it wasn’t the real deal. But who really knows who’s soul he holds?

  17. All shook up, eh? I like this story.

  18. barbtaub says:

    Suzie sent me. I love this post, except for the whole jealousy thing of course. I’ve never even gotten ONE scarf from the King, let alone a lip-lock. Your wife really does rock.

  19. MissFourEyes says:

    Partner, you rock. “anyone who can make her so happy really is the King in my book.” That is just so sweet! I awwwed 🙂

  20. Susie sent me. I enjoyed your story of Elvis and you wife getting her trophy. I saw Elvis a few times and must say he was the best. The phrase “Ladies and Gentlemen Elvis has left the building,” was originated to get the people to actually stop clapping and go home.

  21. RageMichelle says:

    awww….how sweet!!!

  22. I hope this guy has a short run at the Avalon or you may be in trouble. That’s a lot of glowing to keep going.

    • The Hook says:

      Kabakos has folded up his tents – so to blog – for another year, so I’m of the hook – so to blog, again – for twelve months, Michelle.

  23. Pingback: you deserve the glory lyrics

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