A Look Inside My Brain. (Be Afraid.)

Wednesday, July 24, 6:01 a.m.

The hour is early. Too damn early, in fact…

(Why am I up and in uniform so early? Oh yeah, the whole “pay the bills, feed the family, buy comics” thing. Damn.)

Getting back to business…

In the past, I’ve been fortunate enough to receive many blogging awards from my fellow partners in cyber-scribing. (Yes, I rule. Save your applause, folks.) One of the requirements of said awards is sharing a little bit about your inner workings; people want to know what makes a blogger tick.

Unfortunately, I never fulfill those requirements. (Yes, I suck. Save your rage for the Kardashians or Chris Brown, folks.)

In an attempt to balance the karmic scales, here is a look inside The Hook’s brain box, courtesy of a few random thoughts.

WHAT DOES THE HOOK THINK ABOUT AT SIX AM?

1)  (While staring at myself in the mirror of the men’s locker room at work.) When the hell did I get so old? And for that matter, what the hell happened to my hairline? I mean, I was never Fabio, but c’mon! How long before my body begins to betray me on an epic scale? Will I be a broken-down fifty-year-old bellman with a bad back and a failed writing career? That should be fun…

2)  (At my desk in a quiet, deserted lobby.) There is real music in the lobby! After 14 long monotonous, soul-crushing years of Muzak, there is real music in the lobby! Isn’t this one of the signs of the Apocalypse?

3)  (While reflecting on blogs I scanned the night before.) Adam S is shacking up with another blogger? And she’s one the coolest chicks on the web? They’ve formed a prototypical living arrangement thing with a crazy cat? I mean, I get it; they’re both beautiful, cool, intelligent and gifted mammals, but I’m simply surprised is all. (And yes, I can refer to a fellow dude as one of the beautiful people without fearing my masculinity is fading. Shut up!)

4) I missed my chance at attending San Diego Comic Con – again! I wonder if any working girls are smart enough to realize that Comic Con could be a goldmine? 

All they’d have to do is invest in a Wonder Woman or Supergirl costume, rent a room for week, and the geeks would be go wild. Seriously, a clever hooker could make money hand over fist (yes, I went there.), during the biggest gathering of nerds geeks, basement dwellers, etc. in the free world. A truly wise whore could team-up superhero style with another girl and they’d reduce most nerds to jelly. It would be easy money.

5) (While scanning the bottom right corner of my work computer.) It’s almost time to pick up bags for a Spanish bus tour. I should get my luggage cart tricked out with hydraulics, a stereo system pumping Latin tunes and a pair of fuzzy dice. That would go over well….

6) (After returning from my labors.) I can’t believe I spent good money to see R.I.P.D. yesterday. Sarah and I had a blast – as per usual – but Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds owe me money.

7) (After a quick scan of the morning paper.) Okay, so Kate squeezed a human being out of her pampered, snobby British “Downtown Abbey”, why should the world care exactly? The Royal family doesn’t actually run the Empire or contribute anything to their countrymen beyond symbolic gestures and charitable works, so why have they become such a symbol of hope? Oh well, it’s too early to ponder the world stage. I wonder what the Kardashians are up to? Stupid people always make me laugh…

8) Wish I had more time to answer my readers’ comments. There are some wicked cool blogs out there demanding to be read and “liked”. For that matter, I wish I had more time to live my life. There are wicked cool family members out there that deserve to be loved/driven insane.

9) Thinking hurts my head. Must remember to cut back.

10) Just realized: it’s Wednesday! That means New Comic Book Day is here again! It is a great day to be a forty-something nerd.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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69 Responses to A Look Inside My Brain. (Be Afraid.)

    • The Hook says:

      It appears to be a winner with most everyone. I think the divide between classes has never been greater or more in the public eye. Thanks!

  1. Kayjai says:

    Yeah, 7 hurts my head too. So does most of everything I read in the paper and by that I mean, online news. Have a great weekend and hopefully you won’t subject yourself to too much thinking. Pain is never a good answer.

  2. wisejourney says:

    Thinking hurts my head. Must remember to cut back

    What a great line……

    Enjoy a day of thinking way way less…..rock on 🙂

  3. oh you are so right Stupid people do add that much needed spice to our otherwise hectic and some times magically evaporating days.
    The net is bursting with jokes and articles on the Royal Baby.
    you are such a wonderful writer, love the way you weave your thoughts so beautifully and with so much fun.

  4. stephrogers says:

    I love stupid people. They are integral to my healthy self-esteem.

  5. MissFourEyes says:

    The Hook’s inner workings are even better than I ever thought. “Downtown Abbey” cracked me up!

  6. I’m with you on #8

  7. mairedubhtx says:

    Hope you found a good comic book on Wednesday.

  8. #4. Every year my husband and I say we are going to make it out there. Definitely next year! Although I’ll be careful what costume I choose after reading this post. That’s right. I plan to dress up! Nerd alert!

  9. TBM says:

    Whew, it wasn’t as scary as i thought it would be. Wait, should that scare me.

  10. As a Man of Texas, where many fine people are of some sort of Spanish/Latino Heritage, I would highly recommend a small magnetic chihuahua bobblehead to attach to your luggage cart. Then watch the pesos (looneys?) roll in. Or not. I am available for tutoring in some of the more common expressions, phrases and words in Spanish that could be major income enhancers.

    Vaya con dinero, amigo.

  11. sortaginger says:

    I need to know more about the music. Is it on a loop? Is it cool music like a trendy clothing store? Is it just the actual song of “The Girl from Ipanema” without it being all instrumental??

  12. Katie says:

    I was thinking that about Adam and Becca, too. They’re like WordPress’ new “it” couple. Should we call them Adecca or Beam?

  13. Kanerva says:

    You’ll get no argument from me on # 7 either. I regularly have to explain why HRMQEII still graces Australian currency. I fear we have missed the republic boat, although I live in hope. It’s now Friday for me, so I’m wishing you a grand and hopefully workfree, relaxing weekend 🙂

  14. The Cutter says:

    You willingly went to see RIPD? The crap alarm was ringing pretty loudly for me on that one. Then again, the crap alarm almost always starts ringing when Ryan Reynolds is involved.

  15. Cathy Ulrich says:

    Thanks for the heads up about R.I.P.D., Robert. It looked pretty strange anyway…

  16. Pyx says:

    Oh I think working girls know full well they could make a fortune at CC it’s just remembering all those different frelling lines from all those different shows …

  17. Jennifer says:

    I fear # 9, hence why I don’t do it. As for 7, I’d take news on her over the Kardashians anyday. 😉

  18. Gizmo says:

    Agree that #7 goes without saying, but hey Hook, you chose to go see a film about zombie cops…what the heck did you expect?

  19. I almost went to R. I. P. D. and then I was like, no, that is two hours I will probably never get back. Thanks for confirming this.

  20. bardictale says:

    #7 pretty much summed up my thoughts on the matter. What comic did you buy? O.o

  21. Ah, I too wonder about tge Kardashians, my friend! 14 years of muzak? !! You endured that, you can endure anything!! 🙂

  22. >One of the requirements of said awards is sharing a little bit about your inner workings; people want to know what makes a blogger tick.
    >Unfortunately, I never fulfill those requirements.
    – Meh, don’t worry, Hook, I’m just as reticent.

    I don’t like those lists because they feel mechanical and stilted. But this self-bespoke list of yours? *thumbs up* 100% real.

    >8) Wish I had more time to answer my readers’ comments. There are some wicked cool blogs out there demanding to be read and “liked”.
    – Meh again. Because

    >There are wicked cool family members out there that deserve to be loved/driven insane.
    – Easy choice to make; so fret not, Hook, keep it “real”. True e-buds understand.

    >Okay, so Kate squeezed a human being out of her pampered, snobby British “Downtown Abbey”,
    – “Downtown Abbey” – brill!

    >Yes, I rule. Save your applause, folks.
    – Classic. *grin*

    Kate

  23. I like the way you think! Let’s talk about #4. It would be beyond cool to attend Comic Con in San Diego. That should be on everyone’s bucket list. I use to be able to watch it on TV. One station just played it all day and I left it on all day and could keep tabs and stop and watch the good bits that interested me. Why would they stop doing that? I was on it 24/7 and I can’t possibly be the only one. As for the working girls, I’m pretty sure they’ve figured it out already.

  24. Only one question about point 4 – would a nerd/geek at comic con spend their money on a ‘working girl’ or would they spend their money on comic related items such as comics and costumes and figurines? which would give them more pleasure? 🙂

  25. Ha. Fun post! Reminds me of my “blurt diaries” series – just let it flow. Hope your week’s off to a brilliant start. 🙂

  26. Real music. Someone finally had pity on the employees.
    (Seeing a happy young couple holding their first child – remember the first time you picked up yours? A pleasant scene amid all the rotten worldy stuff. Maybe people are just desperate for something not insanely rude, cruel, or mean. Just one little thing – no matter how brief or what happens next. Otherwise, no other explanation comes to mind)

  27. I still don’t know why people are so interested in the UK Monarchy. But I do have to defend them and say that actually they are incredibly hard-working people and Her Majesty does a lot of visits and paperwork and stuff, and the others do a whole bunch of charity work and things like that.

    And, at least they’re famous for being Somebody, rather than just famous for being, well, famous. *coughkardashiancough*

  28. Pingback: People You Meet In Emergency Rooms | Miss Four Eyes

  29. “Thinking hurts my head. Must remember to cut back.” 😀
    Are you as funny in person (as in face to face) as you are on your blog? 🙂
    Delightful post.
    By the way, I happen to like Chris Brown. I think he’s hot. 🙂

    • The Hook says:

      You’re allowed to appreciate his features, young lady; my problem lies with his personality.
      And yes, I believe I’m equally amusing in person!

      • I agree. After all, nobody wants to become a punching bag. 🙂

        And please don’t say you are old. That hurts my feelings, you know. Because we’re of the same age. We are still young…and we’ll forever be. he he..

      • The Hook says:

        Very well, I shall acquiesce to your request.

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