I’m Calling A Time-Out, Kids. But First… (UPDATED)

My muscles – the few that I have, at least – ache.

My brain is exploring a million possibilities simultaneously, everyone one of which sucks, by the way.

I feel like a man gripping a cursed monkey’s paw; my first wish was granted, but there may be a price….

A gigantic question mark is the first thing one sees when examining my wife’s current medical file and the only solution that will yield definitive answers may prove too  much for her sensitivities. Asking an individual who is terrified of needles to submit to a medical procedure involving a needle seemingly designed to take down a charging rhino is a tall order, but nevertheless, such a procedure is in my wife’s future. That’s assuming she follows the path medical science has laid out for her, that is.

In the meantime, I find myself in a quiet lobby awaiting the call to begin picking up bags for yet another bus. It is a seemingly ordinary day, except it isn’t. I appear to be the same man I’ve always been, except I’m not.

My focus lies elsewhere and so I must step back for a few days and divert my attention to someone who has earned my love, respect and devotion.

We’ll talk soon, folks. (I’ll be around sporadically; you never know when The Hook is coming to get you!)

In the meantime, here’s a brief post I had originally written for young Becca Cord for use on  her site, but seeing as how she’s busy sharing her cross-country adventures on 25ToFly, I’ll share it here.


I’ve been a fan of Becca for some time and so when I read of her recent travel woes I knew I had to spring into action.

Unfortunately, my spring has sprung lately (Seriously, Becca is the traveler and yet, I’m the one with terminal jet-lag.), however, I’m going to give it the old Canadian college try.

Personally, I think the lovely Miss Cord should travel more (Stop sobbing, Becca, you’re embarrassing yourself.), and truly explore all this wild and wonderful mudball of a planet has to offer.

Here are but a few destinations I think our host should grace with her distinctive presence.

1)  Merry Ole England: Long johns first appeared in England in the 17th century, and so what better location to kick-off a 25ToFly World Tour? I’m certain Becca could reduce those guards with the funny hats to drooling idiots. And let’s not forget, there’s still an unattached prince out there…

She’d be running that place in a week, give or take.

2)  Greece. Becca is a cat person. (Punish yourself soundly if you didn’t know that, and we’ll wait for you. All done? Good, don’t let it happen again.)

Moving on…

The oldest archaeological evidence for domesticated cats was found on the Greek island of Cyprus, where several animal species including cats were introduced by 7500 BC. And so a trip here would be a return to the Motherland, so to speak.

Incidentally, when I said “cat person”, I didn’t mean an actual feline/human hybrid, but rather a lover of cats… but not an actual lover of cats… I’m going to move ahead now, before my meds fully fade from my system…

3)  Beverly Hills: Kim Kardashian lives here. She desperately needs her ass kicked and I can’t do it. I’m willing to wait for Miss K to deliver her soon-to-be traumatized demon spawn, but then I’ll personally purchase the ticket for Becca and send her off to battle.

Admit it, even the pacifists among you surely wouldn’t object to seeing Becca and Kim rolling around – I’m going to stop typing before I wind up divorced….

4)  Vegas, baby!: Picture this: Becca, Miss Four EyesJen from Jen and Tonic and Emily from The Waiting. In Sin City. With animals. And alcohol. And questionable pharmaceuticals.

Forget the Wolf Pack. Screw those chicks from Bridesmaids. I want to see this misadventure.

5)  Niagara Falls: Do I really need to explain? This town needs an enema!

And finally…

6) San Diego Comic Con: This is the BIG ONE; the mother of all cons, and I’d kill to see Becca’s reaction to all the fanboy madness unfolding in front of her. It would be like dropping a bag of cats in the middle of a dog show. 

I’m going to wrap it up, but the possibilities are endless; I’d like to revisit this concept and place Becca in alternate/fictional realities. Imagine “Fifty Shades of Ginger” or Wedding Crasher with Becca and Tracy Fulks. Pretty mind-boggling, right?

All right, I’m going to stop typing now…


It's Nerdrific!



Here is the link to my latest NiagaraHub column, focusing, strangely enough, on Comic Con. Imagine that?


About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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68 Responses to I’m Calling A Time-Out, Kids. But First… (UPDATED)

  1. lidipiri says:

    I was only recently “hooked” and now hear of what your wife has to go through. Rest assured that many will be thinking of you and her in this journey everyone wishes they will never go through. Good luck and may healing be near.

  2. You are a good man, Robert. Please know that my (and many others’) prayers are with you and Mrs. The Hook. One day, I hope to shake your hand and give a hug to a healthy Mrs. The Hook. God bless and guide you in this difficult journey.


  3. mairedubhtx says:

    Robert, my prayers are accompanying you and VampireLover. I hope you know that. I pray that all will turn out well. As for Becca, I’d personally like to see the Fab Four in Las Vegas. That would be a fun time. Actually, ANYWHERE Becca goes would be a fun time. Enough said.

  4. Littlesundog says:

    Sending positive vibes, Daisy deer medicine, and lots of prayer for Mrs. Hook and you.

  5. All my good thoughts – be well.

  6. TBM says:

    I feel for your wife. I hate needles and when I had medical issues I had to have blood tests every four weeks. You are a wonderful man, Hook. You and your wife make a great team. I’m sending both of you positive thoughts.

  7. djmatticus says:

    I lived in San Diego for 8 years… and never made it to Comic Con once. *hanging head in shame* I know, I know. It just never fell on a good weekend, or my friends couldn’t got, or… enh, one bad excuse after another. For shame. I’ll understand if you never want to talk to me again and you delete all of my comments. I deserve to be blacklisted.

  8. moi says:

    I wish your missus and of course you my best Hook.

  9. Brother Jon says:

    I hope everything goes well for you and your wife. I’ll be thinking about you.

  10. MissFourEyes says:

    Vegas with those fab women? I’m in!

    Hoping everything goes well for Mrs. Hook. Hugs for both of you.

  11. becca3416 says:

    I too am down for Vegas. I do tend to get like Kristen Wig’s character in Bridesmaids on the plane though, so watch out!

    Hope everything turns out for you and your wife Hook. I mean it.

  12. Amber says:

    Firstly, I hope everything goes well with your wife. Positive thoughts are heading your way from my pindot on the map. Secondly, I just got hooked today. Your writing is brilliant. And, when she’s feeling better, you should remind your wife that comics have less in common with needles than vampire fangs…

  13. twindaddy says:

    Sending positive thoughts your wife’s way. I hope everything is okay.

    • The Hook says:

      We just need confirmation everything is ship-shape, Twindaddy. Unfortunately, that involves an invasive procedure involving a ginormous needle. You do the math….

  14. I hope all will be okay and your wife will be able to get through the procedure. I’m terrified of anything medical so I know that feeling. She can ask for a sedative to help her get through it. That’s what I often have to do with dentists/docs and medical tests.

    • The Hook says:

      Oh, she’ll be using whatever she can get her hands on, that’s for sure!
      Thanks for the support.

      • That’s great! You know when I went to the dentist for a procedure recently, the dentist told me he has never seen anyone as sedated/drugged as I was still awake and carrying on a conversation, not even a big burly man. That’s how strong my fear is. I hope she’ll be able to let the drugs work and you’ll be okay as you watch her go through this.

  15. Sending positive thoughts for good health. You and your wife are lucky to have each other to hold onto, and I hope this ordeal will be behind you soon……..

  16. Diane C says:

    Hey Robert,
    I’m so sorry that your wife is having to be poked and prodded but she is fortunate to be supported by someone who so clearly loves her and wants to be there with her as much as you do. I’ll miss reading your posts but obviously, this must take precedence. I’m sending warm and healing thoughts to both of you!

  17. Good luck to your wife (and you too) – send Becca to Ireland – it’ll work, trust me (from a man who got his toe stuck in the shower plughole this morning)

    • The Hook says:

      I’m sure Becca would have an unforgettable experience in Ireland, buddy. I’d put money on it.
      Thanks for everything. You’ve been a great friend.

  18. Rohan 7 Things says:

    My older brother has a major needle phobia as well, I’m sorry to hear about what you wife is going through. Wishing you both all the best!

    Keep well mate.


  19. Pingback: BroJo’s Travel Woes | Brother Jon

  20. Nadia says:

    Hook, good luck to you and your wife! I will miss reading your posts for a while. And, if there’s ever an extra ticket to Vegas…

  21. jlheuer says:

    I know how Vampirelover feels. Even regular needles creep me out, ginormous?…well…. But if it will help the doctors help her, tell her to close her eyes, take a deep breath and go for it. Lots of good food and gardening and general mindless stuff over here at “Another Stir of the Spoon”. Stop in if you need to give yourself a break. Good thoughts and prayers coming your way.

  22. munchow says:

    I truly hope for all the best for your wife and you, my friend. May things, procedures and health all turn out well. We are many who have your well-being in our minds and pray for both of you.

  23. wisejourney says:

    Focus energy and attention on your wife……absolutely. Everything else can wait.

  24. Jo Bryant says:

    Dear Hook. I am sorry this has come in to your lives. Please know that here in rural NZ there will be thoughts being sent to you both hoping for healing and health.

  25. Unfortunately, I have had to go through the huge needle thing during my medical misadventures, but I made it through unscathed. I have no doubts that you and Mrs. Hook will, as well. Good luck to you both, my friend.

  26. All energizing encouraging thoughts turned to Vampirelover
    (this time you’ll have to grab some of those overflowing from her).
    Great writing. Loved the inserted post ( “dropping cats into the middle of a dog show” – super line even among chaos)
    Hang in there.

  27. Best wishes to you, your wife and your family. Bloggers may never meet face to face, but through our writing journey we all become friends and become just as concerned as flesh and blood friends. Keep the strength we all know you have.

  28. Love the 25ToFly list.
    As much as I will miss hanging out in that lobby with you as frequently as usual I am really glad you are taking this time out to support your wife. You probably will never know exactly how much it means to her to have you there to lean on and just to hold her hand. There is no tangible way to measure the fear of all the medical procedures and there is no tangible way to measure what your support means.
    I will be thinking of you both.

  29. I’m a few days late, Hook, but want to let you know I continue to send well-wishes your way for your wife — and for you. Becca and the girls need to go to Vegas! There are so many possibilities. Niagara Falls is out for fear one of them will go over. 😉

  30. 1jaded1 says:

    Hugs. I will be thinking about you. Hope all goes well.

  31. Cayman Thorn says:

    You’re what happens when good men go even gooder. Yeah, I know it’s not a word . . . but I also know I can get away with it on here. She’s in love with you for a reason.

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