A BRIEF JOKE FROM THE HOOK
VACATIONING ZOMBIE: (Chuckling like a fat guy, which he was.) I’d love to tip you, Boss, but I don’t believe in tipping!
THE HOOK: Well, some people don’t believe in the female orgasm, sir, but that doesn’t nullify its existence.
THE LONG-SUFFERING WIFE: He’ll never believe in that, trust me!
And so, as the Vacationing Zombie reeled from the double shot of burn, his wife tipped me a twenty.
I love a happy ending.
Moving on…
My life is a swirling vortex of chaos right now.
Normally I would share the details of my personal struggles with the many challenges Fate has seen fit to place in my path, but the truth is, I’m simply not up to the task. I’m not ill or suffering marital strife, I simply need a few days to be Robert Hookey rather than The Hook.
And so Miss Four Eyes has offered to lend a hand, or rather a post. Of course, she has no idea she did this, but her subconscious contacted me telepathically and said, “Post this!”
It also said, “I’m naked, bitch!”.
But that’s another story altogether…
Enjoy this guest post by my blogging partner and I’ll see you in a few days, gang.
Baby Making Machine
I didn’t realize I was a woman until college.
What I mean is, I knew, of course. But it didn’t hit me that there was a major difference between being a man or a woman until someone pointed it out in college. I’d heard mothers say that they wished their daughters had more female role models to look up to. I always wondered as a kid what that meant. I didn’t feel like I had been deprived of anything. I looked up to people like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, they were my heroes. It didn’t matter that none of these people were women. I didn’t see a difference. They were people and I was just another person. We were the same with one difference, they were successful and I aspired to be.
What’s the difference?
READ MORE HERE!
This a brief, but powerful post that demonstrates how deep a prank can cut when implemented by a douchebag. Miss Four Eyes is one of my faves and she exposes her vulnerabilities with this one, but in this case, the results are gold.
See you soon, folks. Be well.
Be well my friend. See you soon.
You certainly will, my lovely friend.
Hang tough, Bro. I know how you feel. It ain’t always easy being a Fearless Leader either. :)
No doubt. Thanks, old buddy.
Enjoyed the guest post.
Sometimes you have to float a bit until past the white water and things level out.
See ya at the dock later
Hopefully the waters will calm down soon, old friend. Thanks for stopping by.
Cool post. Be well. See you on the flip side. :-)
You sure will, Jennifer.
First of all, I hope you’ll find time to be Robert Hookey, even if I dont like his name. Second of all, well done Miss Four Eyes! I was smiling big reading and its so great for her to lend you a post.
Please be back soon though ;)
I’ll do my best to return soon. Thanks for dropping by.
I love it. And I think it’s great. Reminds me of that episode of south park where they want to change the town flag (which is a bunch of white people hanging a black person). Everybody’s so pissed about it, but the children don’t get it. They don’t see the difference in color.
Everyone’s trying so hard not to be racist, which is worse than actually being a racist. I see how the same could go for feminism.
Thanks for the input, Daan. You always bring something worthwhile to the party.
What a surprise! I’m so glad you liked it enough to feature on your blog :)
“I’m naked, bitch!” hahaha!
Also, I hope that swirling vortex of chaos blows away soon and you feel like Robert again. Just know that we love both The Hook and Robert. Take care, partner.
You too, partner.
And thanks for the help!
Robert,
When you get back you will hopefully be refreshed and ready to tackle anything. Rest, laugh and love. You must be ready for Comicon.
I look forward to your return,
M
As do I, Michelle!
They don’t believe in tipping because it parts them from their cash. The jerks. Miss Four-Eyes is da Bomb. I commented on this post over at her site. It’s a crime that someone made this statement to her.
It is indeed.
Thanks for dropping by.
The happy ending just made me snort on the train. Now I’m that girl. Thanks a lot.
I understand needing to take that time to be you apart from your blog. It’s hard to unravel that sometimes.
At least you’re not the New Girl, she’s annoying…
I bet you were still the cutest thing on that train, snorting or not!
Lieber Gruß wünsche dir eine gute glückliche Woche.Gislinde
Seien Sie gut, meine liebe Freundin.
>I simply need a few days to be Robert Hookey rather than The Hook.
– Do what you hafta, Hook, I mean, Mr.Hookey. Know that there are warm thoughts wafting your way.
Kate
Thanks, Kate.
You’re the best. Seriously!
That was a funny exchange with “doesn’t believe in tipping” guy.
http://filledandfooled.wordpress.com/2013/05/22/very-inspiring-blogger-award/
Thanks, G! The guests do all the work, I just take my cues from them.
still, you rock.
Fine, I bow to your judgement!