A Guest Post (Kinda, Sorta) From Miss Four Eyes.


VACATIONING ZOMBIE: (Chuckling like a fat guy, which he was.) I’d love to tip you, Boss, but I don’t believe in tipping!

THE HOOK: Well, some people don’t believe in the female orgasm, sir, but that doesn’t nullify its existence.

THE LONG-SUFFERING WIFE: He’ll never believe in that, trust me!

And so, as the Vacationing Zombie reeled from the double shot of burn, his wife tipped me a twenty.

I love a happy ending.

Moving on…

My life is a swirling vortex of chaos right now.

Normally I would share the details of my personal struggles with the many challenges Fate has seen fit to place in my path, but the truth is, I’m simply not up to the task. I’m not ill or suffering marital strife, I simply need a few days to be Robert Hookey rather than The Hook.

And so Miss Four Eyes has offered to lend a hand, or rather a post. Of course, she has no idea she did this, but her subconscious contacted me telepathically and said, “Post this!”

It also said, “I’m naked, bitch!”.

But that’s another story altogether…

Enjoy this guest post by my blogging partner and I’ll see you in a few days, gang.

Baby Making Machine

I didn’t realize I was a woman until college.

What I mean is, I knew, of course. But it didn’t hit me that there was a major difference between being a man or a woman until someone pointed it out in college. I’d heard mothers say that they wished their daughters had more female role models to look up to. I always wondered as a kid what that meant. I didn’t feel like I had been deprived of anything. I looked up to people like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, they were my heroes. It didn’t matter that none of these people were women. I didn’t see a difference. They were people and I was just another person. We were the same with one difference, they were successful and I aspired to be.

MaleFemale role models

What’s the difference?


This a brief, but powerful post that demonstrates how deep a prank can cut when implemented by a douchebag. Miss Four Eyes is one of my faves and she exposes her vulnerabilities with this one, but in this case, the results are gold.

See you soon, folks. Be well.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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28 Responses to A Guest Post (Kinda, Sorta) From Miss Four Eyes.

  1. Lady Lovely says:

    Be well my friend. See you soon.

  2. Hang tough, Bro. I know how you feel. It ain’t always easy being a Fearless Leader either. 🙂

  3. Enjoyed the guest post.
    Sometimes you have to float a bit until past the white water and things level out.
    See ya at the dock later

  4. Jennifer says:

    Cool post. Be well. See you on the flip side. 🙂

  5. Chatty Owl says:

    First of all, I hope you’ll find time to be Robert Hookey, even if I dont like his name. Second of all, well done Miss Four Eyes! I was smiling big reading and its so great for her to lend you a post.
    Please be back soon though 😉

  6. I love it. And I think it’s great. Reminds me of that episode of south park where they want to change the town flag (which is a bunch of white people hanging a black person). Everybody’s so pissed about it, but the children don’t get it. They don’t see the difference in color.

    Everyone’s trying so hard not to be racist, which is worse than actually being a racist. I see how the same could go for feminism.

  7. MissFourEyes says:

    What a surprise! I’m so glad you liked it enough to feature on your blog 🙂
    “I’m naked, bitch!” hahaha!

    Also, I hope that swirling vortex of chaos blows away soon and you feel like Robert again. Just know that we love both The Hook and Robert. Take care, partner.

  8. Robert,
    When you get back you will hopefully be refreshed and ready to tackle anything. Rest, laugh and love. You must be ready for Comicon.
    I look forward to your return,

  9. mairedubhtx says:

    They don’t believe in tipping because it parts them from their cash. The jerks. Miss Four-Eyes is da Bomb. I commented on this post over at her site. It’s a crime that someone made this statement to her.

  10. Katie says:

    The happy ending just made me snort on the train. Now I’m that girl. Thanks a lot.

    I understand needing to take that time to be you apart from your blog. It’s hard to unravel that sometimes.

  11. giselzitrone says:

    Lieber Gruß wünsche dir eine gute glückliche Woche.Gislinde

  12. >I simply need a few days to be Robert Hookey rather than The Hook.
    – Do what you hafta, Hook, I mean, Mr.Hookey. Know that there are warm thoughts wafting your way.


  13. G says:

    That was a funny exchange with “doesn’t believe in tipping” guy.

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