I’ve been blessed with some truly cool, kick-ass blogging friends. Here is a guest post from one of them. To get a better understanding of this truly unique talent, click HERE.
And HERE.
And HERE.
And finally, HERE.
And now, without further adieu, here are some cool words from your guest host…
I was surprised to learn that The Hook with his millions of followers and billions of comments has never been Freshly Pressed (forgive me if these numbers are off, but I can only count to ten). I certainly enjoy The Hook’s stories and lists, and his blog is unlike any other blog I read. So why doesn’t WordPress ever pick The Hook for the Freshly Pressed honor? Here are 10 possible reasons.
1) WordPress editors often stay in the hotel where The Hook works, and in their opinion, the fewer people who know what goes on there, the better.
2) His blog is already too addictive as it is. As a matter of fact, I’ve been hooked just by reading the blog name.
3) When everyone is getting Freshly Pressed, WordPress had to leave someone not Freshly Pressed. The editors have picked The Hook for that honor because they think that The Hook is least likely to get bitter about it.
4) With the number of likes and comments You’ve Been Hooked must be getting already, a Freshly Pressed nod could actually mean a slowdown in stats.
5) The Hook never posts recipes or pretty pictures. I know I am very disappointed by the lack of pictures illustrating some of his racier stories.
6) “Featured on Freshly Pressed” badge would raise too many questions from hotel guests.
7) WordPress editors can’t decide which of The Hook’s blogs they should press.
8) For some unknown reason, WordPress prefers to feature blogs of travelers, rather than blogs written by those who have to deal with those annoying blog-writing travelers.
9) The blog theme that The Hook uses is cursed. How else can you explain that You’ve been Hooked, List of X, and about ten other blogs I know with the same theme all share the same glaring absence of “Featured on Freshly Pressed” badge?
10) Assuming The Hook gets Freshly Pressed, his book will get an actual publishing deal, be made into a blockbuster starring Brad Pitt (with Justin Bieber as Annoying Teenager #2), and The Hook will no longer need to work. And you know what that means: no more posts from The Hook. Sorry, Robert, your millions of followers don’t think so.
BONUS CONTENT!
Spare parts:
11) It’s very hard to Freshly Press The Hook. If you press too hard, it could lose its edge.
12) After reading You’ve been Hooked!, the WordPress editors are under the impression that The Hook is blogging for tips.
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
May 9 is fast approaching – like a horde of Beliebers on Red Bull – so put a few pennies away for Leanne Shirtliffe’s first literary offering…
Also worth checking out…
My ridiculously talented blogging partner, Miss Four Eyes has crafted yet another blogging masterpiece for your enjoyment and enlightenment.
Click on the pic below.
That’s an order, bitches!
Freshly Pressed is nothing more than an honorary title! I think you’ve achieved enough acclaim that being Freshly Pressed would almost be a mockery.
The Hook certainly deserves to be Freshly Pressed. I’ve known that forever. But you’ve given a good list of why the idiots at WordPress have probably not given this award to him. He is Freshly Pressed in my book!
Thank you, I agree with you. But I don’t think calling people “idiots” will help The Hook get Freshly Pressed. :)
I think blackmail with photos and videos from #1 is in order.
I’m normally against blackmail, but I think Freshly Pressed is a worthy cause.
Most of the posts I see Freshly Pressed are not even worth reading. Not to me, anyhow. I wouldn’t take it as an insult.
Not surprising at all – we spend months carefully selecting bloggers who are worth reading to follow. Compared to our Readers, Freshly Pressed is mainly just a random assortment of posts on random topics.
I signed up to be a “follower” because of reason #2. I’ve been hooked ever since. I won’t go on a rant about Freshly Pressed but bottom line, something is good because people love it – not because WordPress (or whoever) says it is. The Hook ROCKS in my book!
I absolutely agree – #2 wasn’t a joke, but it’s The Hook content that keeps me coming back.
Meh, Freshly Pressed is for blogs about cats and chicken and dumpling recipes. LOL
Wait, I don’t think I remember seeing any cat recipes on Freshly Pressed.
LOL, punctuation fail on my part ;)
I won’t comment on my Freshly Pressed status (or lack thereof), but I want to thank List of X for being an amazing gust host.
I’ll say it again, I have the best blogging allies anyone could ever ask for!
Thank you, Robert, and thank you for letting me play on your blog.
You should be FP’d – you most certainly deserve it.
Thanks, baby!
Forget FP, this post is freaking awesome! Great choice in a guest blogger, Hook, and thanks List of X for doing it. I was thoroughly entertained. :D
Thank you! And I have to thank The Hook for the post idea, and for posting it, and for all the plugs of my work, of course.
I can’t quite figure out the whole Freshly Pressed thing and how they pick the blogs. I think yours is definitely a candidate though :)
WordPress had mentioned somewhere that they tend to select blogs that “may otherwise not get followed” – certainly The Hook doesn’t have this problem :)
Freshly Pressed should strive to be Hooked.
Or Freshly Hooked, maybe?
No. No!
The Hook! The Hook! The Hook! The Hook! (raises fist in air) The Hook! The Hook! The Hook!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! (fist bump) Yes! Yes! Yes!
I am honored to be in the same unpressed category as The Hook………great, guest post. Thanks for the laughs!
Thank you! But at least you have a non-cursed blog theme, so you may have an advantage :)
It’s gotta be that #1…or #12 (keep those writing tips out of his hands! He’s great already.)
Hook is cult. It’s true: Fresh Press can’t encourage groups of wild and crazy people.
(and he’s saving the pix for blackmail? Just kidding! Love ya’ Hook! And thanks for great guest post recognizing true talent )
I thought all these wild and crazy people are staying at The Hook’s hotel :)
He is something of a magnetic personality for the unusually unusual
Maybe they think that after all the bizarre and unusual things he’s witnessed in his job, getting Freshly Pressed would be nothing but a letdown in comparison. :)
Absolutely – Freshly Pressed is rather plain compared to The Hook’s real life. I have to get my ideas from the news or The Hook’s suggestions (this post), and he just needs to show up for work. :)
“…so put a few pennies away for Leanne Shirtliffe’s first literary offering.” I initially read this as, “so put a few PENISES away for Leanne Shirtliffe’s first literary offering.” I thought that this must be a GREAT book if I have to save up some penises.
I really don’t know what to say right now, I’m laughing so hard!
I think number 9 is the reason.
I have proof, actually: my blog has the same theme, and I’ve been FP myself, but always as a guest post on someone else’s blog with a different theme.
I was kind of hoping for someone to come forward with an FP badge and same blog theme, and no one has. It must truly be cursed.
I think it’s #4. Or they probably think that if The Hook was FP’d he’d outshine the other FP posts. Wouldn’t be fair to them would it? :)
Thanks for the links Hook! You rock!
This is a real danger of that happening. But I think WordPress should take their chances.
Hey Hook. I’m right there with you. Have never been FP – however those posts with rotten swear words or even just one photo of nothing gets FP-ed. Oh well, at least we have each other. :)
Indeed we do, Jennifer!
This is a brilliant post! Ah Robert, we are part of an exclusive club, the non freshly pressed people. It will be a sad day should we ever lose our privileged title ;)
All the reasons make perfect sense to me, and I doubt WordPress want the server crash that would accompany such a massive chunk of traffic from one part of the web to another :)
Great list, thanks to The Hook for the introduction!
Rohan.
Yes, if The Hook crashes WordPress, he’ll be taking all of us down with him. :)
I would love it so hard if this post got Freshly Pressed. A FP post about not being FP. My world would implode.
Hooker–because that is what your name always makes me want to call you–you will get the nod one day and then you’ll be like, man, that was not everything I hoped it would be. Being FP is kind of like losing your virginity. I say this as a woman b/c I’m sure the loss of virginity is a great experience for guys. But, from my standpoint as the girl in that situation, it was a whole lot of hype for 3 seconds of awkward humping with a confused boy who had no idea what he was doing. And being FP is exactly like that.
Still, I know it feels important, so I hope you get the nod soon.
“But, from my standpoint as the girl in that situation, it was a whole lot of hype for 3 seconds of awkward humping with a confused boy who had no idea what he was doing.”
And this is why I love you, Ashley Austrew. You’re the man – but with girl parts, of course.
LOL. I love that. That should be new bio: I am the man–but with girl parts.
But you have to capitalize “Man” for good measure!
It is sort of like losing your virginity, only with more people commenting.
And I hope it’s one of the The Hook’s posts that gets Freshly Pressed, not my guest post – that just wouldn’t be right.
I have never heard anyone describe it better! Perfect.
I agree, FP-ed or not, you’re awesome ;)
Thanks!
Freshly pressed is over rated. You rock just the way you are. (Although if I was ever FP’d I’d shout it from the rooftops, then the pressure would be too much and I’d be a one hit wonder…)
Brilliant post Mr X. :-)
Thank you!
I agree, FP does have that effect on people, and yes, it’s probably overrated too. Though I doubt there is a single WordPress blogger out there who’d refuse the honor.
I wonder if there is an X list of those that have refused the honour??
I don’t think that there is a list, WordPress isn’t really giving you the option to refuse the honor. They just notify you via e-mail and then post it on FP page. It’s probably because no one even said no, being too busy shouting from the rooftops :) You’ll have your chance to see how it works soon enough, I hope :)
I’m not holding my breath, but you never know. Can I pass it on to someone I feel is more worthy, say The hook?
You can try asking when that e-mail comes.
I’d like to say I would, but human nature would dictate I take all the glory, ah, the conundrum of first world problems. I’m not holding my breath either way.
Yes, of course, the human nature… The Hook knows all about it.
Of course, I’m sure he’d understand my predicament, ;-)
Blogging for tips is probably just as productive as travelers providing them. But, hey, every little bit helps I guess.
I think of “likes” and comments as tips that I get from blogging. Unfortunately, my bank doesn’t accept them as currency.
I’ve never been pressed either :( I always just assumed it was because I tend to cuss like a sailor… ;)
Think of “freshly pressed” as just another F-word :) And by the way, I looked at some of your posts, and if you’re cussing like a sailor, well, that’s some rather refined and well-mannered sailor :)
6) “Featured on Freshly Pressed” badge would raise too many questions from hotel guests.
The WordPress staffers are too bloody business ethically-minded.
But I wonder what they’d say if you added the “Freshly Pressed” badge anyway…?
What if it’s adding the “Featured on Freshly Pressed” badge automatically Freshly Presses the blog?
Oooh, now there’s an interesting thought.
Look on it as a badge of honour, Hook. I do
By the way, some blogs actually carry “Not featured on Freshly Pressed” badge….
That would be me, if I could be bothered
A great ‘guest post’, my dear Hook….!
Though, being ‘Freshly Pressed’ is probably a part of your every day… I’m certain that VampireLover ensures your attire is of the neatest possible status…! ;)
Yes she does! She also tries to dress me like a Salvatore or a Cullen!
#1 all the way.
Deferred tips for F’Pressing?
No way! I need the cash!
hahaha
I believe the Hook is being unfairly typecast on account of that ridiculous teen slasher flick “I Know What You Did Last Summer”…. So unfair.
PS- There was a hook in that movie, right?
I don’t think I’ve seen that movie, so I see The Hook more like Captain Hook from Peter Pan.
I wonder what would happen if someone just stuck the FP sticker up there anyway. I mean, it’s not like you can’t just copy/paste it. I wouldn’t do it, but I’m just curious what would happen if you did. Would the WP gods notice and ban you forever? I actually thought about writing a post wherein I stole badges from other blogs just to prove a point. Then I figured maybe people wouldn’t like that much.
I don’t think WP gods would notice that, but I wouldn’t want to play games with their favor. And sure, you wouldn’t do that, because you already got one :)
If only we knew someone who’s about to quit blogging, and who would be willing to become a guinea blog…
It’d be interesting. And YOU got one, just as a guest blogger – I think if you’re guest blogging, you should get one as well as the blog you guested on. Just my opinion, of course, but I’m right. :D
I got 2 as a guest blogger, actually :) So I have a really good excuse for me to put the sticker on, except that I just don’t care for the sticker. (I’ll take FP, thank you very much, but the sticker… meh…)
I like the idea of your book being made into a movie blockbuster. Particularly if Justin Bieber gets run over by one of those cart things you’re always mentioning.
That would be so cool!
How did I miss this?! Brilliant post. My guess is that there is a Freshly Pressed bot zooming around … Looking for some bizarre combination of tags, photos and of course the right theme :)
You could be right. Makes sense to me.