I’ll Probably Never Reach Nirvana, But At Least I’ll Have Fun Trying…

In my ongoing quest to be the best Hook I can be, I’ve been doing some soul searching and I’ve come to an inescapable conclusion.

I’m like a one hit wonder.

Minus the one hit, of course.

Moving on…

Over the years, I’ve cultivated a relationship or two with some of the hotel’s regulars, some of whom are quite, shall we say, colorful?

One such guest – we’ll call him Hal – is an old-fashioned, no-holds-barred drunk, straight out of a 1970s sitcom. I was assisting Hal recently and as we made our way down the hall, he stopped at a housekeeper’s cart to make a point – in his own way.

“I’m a lush and I own it, Robert! There’s no two ways about it! I’m like this here bottle of cleaning fluid that you can see through… what you see is what you get!”

I gave Hal a moment to relish his contemplative superiority and then I brought him down to Earth.

Hard.

I reached for a wet cleaning cloth, tossed it in my hand and let Hal have it with both barrels.

“Actually, you’re like this cloth…. you both need to dry out.”

You’ve heard of “tough love”?

I give “tough service”.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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51 Responses to I’ll Probably Never Reach Nirvana, But At Least I’ll Have Fun Trying…

  1. Hook…I am gonna try like hell to make it Niagra this summer just to shake your hand. Good stuff.

  2. Le Clown says:

    The Hook,
    Hal took the cleaning bottle, and enjoyed an afternoon of psychedelic delights.
    Le Clown

    • The Hook says:

      Le Clown,
      You’re most likely correct.
      He’s accepted his fate and toasts it every day.
      Thanks for dropping by. You’ve been doing some incredible work/healing over at Black Box warnings and A Clown on Fire. Keep it up.
      The Hook.

  3. Jennifer says:

    Oh, OUCH! High five to you Robert.

  4. sortaginger says:

    Now I am picturing Hal as Mr Roper. Awesome!

  5. Mwahaha. He needed to hear it. Being sarcastic with drunks is the best. They don’t get it most of the time.

  6. Great stuff……..you should run a support group………maybe start one in the hotel?

  7. Michael says:

    Well played. Coming up with an alternate simile on the spot: ingenious!

  8. Diane C says:

    Did you get a tip?

  9. Honie Briggs says:

    I swear I thought you were going to say Hal, chugged the cleaning fluid and went on his merry way.

  10. Cathy Ulrich says:

    I think Hal asked for that one, Robert. It was tough love and I bet he tipped you too!

  11. Lady Lovely says:

    Love tough love!

  12. The Guat says:

    I love this post. I know that it is a short one, but I love both sides of it. The one-hit wonder part, which I know you are definitely not. I think you’re more of a platinum album and the tough love. I’m a tough love sort of person too when it comes to the hard truth. Although sometimes I start off easy and if they don’t get it … then here comes the tough. 🙂

  13. I think I always knew this, but I’m sure now … you have to be part psychiatrist to be a bellman. Hope he gave you a good tip for the professional advice!

  14. TBM says:

    You tell it how it is.

  15. Pixie Girl says:

    Wow, that was a great comeback! I hope he read it well!

  16. Blam! Blam! Good call Hook!

  17. The Cutter says:

    I’m glad I don’t know anyone named Hal. I’d be too tempted to just quote 2001 every time I saw him.

  18. mairedubhtx says:

    Poor Hal. At least he owns his addiction, though what good it does him, I’m sure I don’t know. Love the title.

  19. legendsofgreenisle says:

    Sometimes people just need to hear the truth – remember it sets you free. Unfortunately though, a lot of them still cling to the chains even after it “hits” them in the face. 🙂

  20. Who knew what a psychological tool a housekeeping cart could be. Maybe you could start a trend with a “therapy on wheels” kind of deal.

  21. twindaddy says:

    I’m sure the analogy was lost on him, but A for effort!

  22. Tell it like it is, people need that sort of service.

  23. I really think we are related. Really.

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