Ten Reasons Why Breakfast Television is the Only Morning Show Worth Watching.

(Or “How To Shamelessly Suck Up While Publishing a Monday Filler Post” by The Hook.)

Either one is applicable. Here we go.

1)  They have a name that’s easy to remember.  Breakfast Television (Or BT for those who just don’t have the time to speak words in their entirety.) It rolls off the tongue. In this day and age people have enough on their plates without having to strain their brain-boxes recalling some wordy morning show title. What could be easier than two letters?

2)  Frank Ferragine.  Not only can he predict the weather with better-than-average accuracy (no mean feat in these days!), he can tell you how to deal with crabgrass in three easy steps. Let’s see Al Roker do that. Plus, he has a bad ass nickname; “Frankie Flowers” sounds like someone the mob sends after you when you bet everything you own on the Maple Leafs…

3)  They have achieved that perfect balance between “These guys rule!” and “I have to shut this off. Now!”  Many, many morning shows think that propping a bubble-headed-bleach-blond in a tight pantsuit up in front of a camera first thing in the morning leads to television gold. It doesn’t. It leads to a headache Tylenol won’t even touch.

You’re exhausted in the morning – to say the least – and you don’t do perky. You want to be energized by your morning show hosts, not driven to a murderous rage. The cast of BT gets that; they’ll get you moving, but you won’t get moving down to their studio to choke the life out of them…

4)  Jennifer Valentyne.  The Mary Tyler Moore of Canadian broadcasting (Trust me, this is a compliment. In her prime, Moore was the face of feminism in America.), Jennifer Valentyne brings three unique qualities to the screen: I told you that smile was killer!

  1.  A smile that could disarm North Korea.
  2.  Charm that should be transfused and force-fed to the Kardashians.
  3. A genuine sense of honesty; simply pit, you believe every word that comes out of her mouth. I’d hate to play poker against her.

5)  Birthday shout-outs.  They’re old school, yes, but old school is back in style. And besides, what kid doesn’t love to see their face on TV?

6)  Dina Pugliese.  She’s: 16DinaPugliese-HR

  • Witty. You have to love a woman with a self-deprecating sense of humor.
  • Intelligent.  Far too many female morning show hosts subscribe to the Kathy Lee Code of Broadcasting: “Make Them Laugh At You, Not With You”.  Not Dina Pugliese. She actually has something going on behind her eyes other than a hamster wheezing while trying to complete a single pass on a wheel.
  • Easy on the eyes.  The woman has gams that go on forever. As the late, great Leslie Nielsen said “She had a full set of curves and the kind of legs you’d like to suck on for a day.”

7)  Free swag.  Trips, iPads, etc. What else is there to say?  Nothing trumps free.  Period.

8)  Kevin Frankish.  The not-quite-elder stateman of BT, Kevin Frankish can switch from serious (but he won’t tell you ’bout the plane crash with a gleam in his eye) to humorous in a split-second.  The average male newscaster/morning host simply doesn’t carry the humor gene in his DNA.  Fortunately – especially on those mornings you just can’t suffer fools gladly – Kevin Frankish is the exception.

9)  Above-average writing.  I once spent a week attempting to watch a competing morning show: they devoted two hours trying to figure out which of their staff members left a pile of fingernail clippings under a boardroom table. It was an attempt to be witty while channeling CSI, but it came off as a successful channeling of Jackass instead.

(To be fair, it only felt like two hours.)

The cast of BT knows the secret to a successful morning show is to never mock your audience by insulting their intelligence with lazy writing. You can be foolish without being idiotic.

10)  The Sally Field factor.  People like BT.  They really do.  From the guests – many of whom have been answering the same boring questions for years – to the viewing audience – many of whom demand something more from their morning show than the same old tired song and dance – people simply feel comfortable making BT a part of their morning.

When the history of our age is written, television will no doubt play a pivotal role in defining our collective character.  Our viewing habits define us as human beings (which is why I thank God every day that my daughter hasn’t caught Kardashian fever.) and if you really think about it, we usually switch the television on as a matter of reflex, rather than conscious choice.

I can recall watching BT when…

  • I got dressed on my wedding day.
  • The morning we traveled to the hospital to have our daughter (Okay, I was the only one watching, the wife was otherwise occupied.)
  • The day I buried my grandmother.

Simply put, BT has become a part of my crazy life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

And yes, this post is a departure for me, but it is a Monday after all…..

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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72 Responses to Ten Reasons Why Breakfast Television is the Only Morning Show Worth Watching.

  1. Katie says:

    Breakfast television? This is the first time I’m hearing this term. Are these morning talk show personalities?

  2. susielindau says:

    You have a meteorologist that can predict the weather???? Whoa…
    Love the local stations here too!

  3. List of X says:

    Breakfast TV? With guests, writing, and wit? I don’t know, when I wake up in the morning, the only type of TV activity my brain could comprehend would be something like Teletubbies.

  4. "HE WHO" says:

    There are some things that Canada just does better. Good call, Hookster.

  5. JackieP says:

    It’s Monday and on Mondays you are allowed to do and be something different. That’s the silent rule. Well my rule true, but it IS silent.

  6. Wanderlust23 says:

    Spot on with this post. I used to love watching in the morning getting ready for work, thanks for my daily dose of Canadian content.

  7. Is it really a departure? I thought it was just a continuation of you trying to get your butt on BT. Personally, in my humble opinion, an appearance by The Hook on BT could only improve the show beyond ones wildest imagination. I would start watching it again. I would even get He-Who out of bed to watch it…ok, maybe I would just PVR it for him.

  8. Lady Lovely says:

    This post makes me want to re-install cable just to watch BT again!

  9. Carrie Rubin says:

    I never knew there was such a term as ‘breakfast television.’ Then again, I only watch CNN in the morning while I get ready, and while I read the paper and sip my tea before starting my work day. And I just realized how old that makes me sound…

  10. renxkyoko says:

    It’s nice to know another thing you’re passionate about.
    Cheers, Mr. Hook !

  11. Jo Bryant says:

    Our BT sucks…we used to have this great one…well the show is still on but they fired the host – dumb arses.

  12. Tom Merriman says:

    It’s been years since I watched Breakfast Television, Hook. I may get up even earlier tomorrow to see if it’s changed! Emphasis on the may… 😉

  13. Very envious. Not so lucky here. We used to have a good one, then they started tweaking the “formula/people/hairdos/fashions/stories….until it’s totally UGH
    Morning show provides noise and won’t let you go back to sleep on your feet…but as far as – wait – it shows the wrecks on the freeways so you know how much provisions to take along for the commute – knew there was some purpose
    (OH, you did send that show a link to your post via email on their website? …Oh, do it, they would be flattered – everyone likes to read good news…and besides you just never know…)

  14. Jennifer says:

    I think I must be the ONLY one who doesn’t watch BT of any kind. Drives me spare. I won’t go on about hubby, but suffice to say if I don’t have a tele I wouldn’t really care (well, not really ..)

  15. Hook, I’ve never seen the BT show! I guess I’ve been missing quite a lot. I haven’t watched TV these days. I used to watch it at night, but now with my kids getting to bed at a late hour, I don’t seem to watch much. Is BT on here in the States?

  16. breezyk says:

    I agree with everything except #5- I can’t handle the bday shout outs. I have to mute the TV cause I can’t handle Jennifer’s baby voice when she does it. Other than that,I’m also an avid watcher. Oh Dina.. what a loveable idiot she is.

  17. Cathy Ulrich says:

    BT sounds like a great show! But I don’t watch TV in the morning – as some of the time I spend before work involves blogging. (Obviously I didn’t get to much today). Glad you enjoy it, though, Robert.

  18. Diane C says:

    I have to say ditto for Vancouver’s BT.

  19. TBM says:

    Frankie Flowers–might have to remember that name for a character in a book.

  20. mairedubhtx says:

    Your post made me wish that I had BT to watch in the mornings instead of Live At Nine with the two bimbos on Channel 23 that I watch every morning and having trouble watching but the other shows are yawningly bad. At least this one is a train-wreck waiting to happen and I’m not often disappointed. But I would like some stimulating talk. Every now and then they do have my CASA boss on and that is good until they ask her stupid questions but she’s pretty good at turning them around, thank goodness. But the BT sounds absolutely lovely. Wish it was broadcast here! Sigh.

  21. valleygirl96 says:

    This is the first time I can honestly say I think it might be kind of cool to live in Canada. Is it sad that it’s because of a tv show, or are your powers of persuasion just that good?

  22. Jonny Eberle says:

    “Charm that should be transfused and force-fed to the Kardashians.” For a Monday filler post, that’s a genius line.

  23. Can’t go wrong with a little BT in the morning.

  24. Jeanne Heuer says:

    Wow this must be some show to go on with such enthusiasm and adoration. And such an unassuming name. At first I thought you were being generic. Alas I can’t satisfy my curiosity in Wisconsin.

  25. I forgot about BT!! What was I think, I knew it was too quiet in my kitchen these past few months. I love checking out the road conditions.. we do have snow still:( Sorry for my prolonged absence, just figuring out how to come back here to get on the Reader now that my blog is self-hosted. It’s been a big pain.. And I wish I had those legs.

    • The Hook says:

      I’m sure your gams are as perfect as the rest of you, Barbara!
      Don’t worry about being absent; I rarely have the time to drop by your awesome site anymore.
      Think I’ll get over there now…

  26. John Patrick says:

    Amen brother. I love the show, been watching it since the early days with the beautiful Anne Rohmer. I’m in BC now so I don’t get too much of a chance to watch it cos of the time difference but i’ll always try everytime to watch it cos it’s been a big part of my life. Still a hug fan of Jennifer Valentyne and love Dina Pugliese’s gorgeous legs.

  27. Bob Lee says:

    Yup … Canada does BT better – especially Jennifer and Dina – hmmmm – more than easy on the eyes. And … for a filler post – you deserve a big round of applause. On my best day I couldn’t compare to the beauty and elegance of this.

  28. Alison H says:

    Aww. I love BT!! One of my favourite things is that all the people you mentioned above, plus April Kalloo, Adrian Sousa, Kevin Forget, et al (the background people who occasionally make an appearance on screen as well), all get along so well. They always seem to be enjoying themselves.

  29. We have BT in Oz too, my dear Hook. There are a few however, one has my vote…. He’s cute and intelligent; she’s vivacious, clever and witty; they make a good pair (with a few extra characters thrown in for very good measure (weather man, news girl, fashion critic, entertainment guru; you get the drift)). I only watch occasionally, which is probably why I like it… 😉 😉

  30. Rick Berger says:

    I watch bt just to see what jennifer and Dina are wearing.Them legs are made for gawking.

  31. Russ Howard says:

    I had the misfortune of watching BT one morning simply because of being a captive audience in another’s home. To think that someone actually pays these people to ‘clown’ around smacks of money laundering to me. Your ‘bubble head’ comment accurately describes the whole lot to me…especially the long-in-the-tooth Kevin character who tries to come across as some kind of celebrity. NOT! Apparently he was a wannabee Larry King look a like for many years with his suspender routine. Glad I missed that chapter. He has the age factor going for him.
    Keep up the good work Hook!

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