I’m busy polishing the first few chapters of my next book, folks, so this one is a grab bag of blogging goodies..
As for my contribution to my blog, here are some blasts from my past. Over they years guests have greeted me with some very interesting opening lines. The truth is, you never know what you’re going to find when a hotel room door opens.
Ten Awesome/Terrible Opening Lines From Guests
1) “Are you the porter… I mean valet… I mean concierge. Are you the guy with the cart?”
2) “Mom and Dad! Get out of the shower! The Bell Guy is here!”
3) “We’ll be ready in a minute. We’re just looking for an escaped gerbil named Justin Beaver.” (Yes, they named the gerbil Justin Beaver. I love people.)
4) “Can you wait a minute? The escort I hired for my boyfriend locked herself in the washroom.” (In case you’re wondering, that one did indeed end with a visit from The Niagara Regional Police.)
5) “My husband is going to go to the car with you and load the bags. Our daughter is throwing up her breakfast. I guess Lucky Charms should be served with milk, not Red Bull.”
6) “Can you restore our cellphone service? You are a Bell Telephone employee, right? I mean, you work at the Bell Desk…”
7) “How much do you charge? Are you pricey” (To be clear, the guest was referring to my services as a bellman. I think)
8) “We can handle the bags, but can we put our child on the cart? My husband let him have some beers last night and he’s been sleeping for twelve hours now.” (Kids these days just can’t handle their liquor.)
9) “I just want to finish this porno. I want to see how the story works out.” (Incidentally, I once had a guest complain about the lack of plot in the hotel’s adult features.)
10) “Can you give us a minute? I can’t get my wife untied.”
June is around the corner, folks – in my mind at least – so here is another plug for what is sure to the kick-ass event of The Hook’s summer…