My name – the name the two-legs decided to give me anyway – is Chelsea. The Hook is busy this week, so I’m pitichin’ in. (He promised to reveal the location of my favorite chew toy if I comply.)
Technically, I’m the “family dog”, although I hate that term. Between you and me? I keep this family in line.
Humans need to be focused and so I have devised a foolproof plan to keep The Hook, VampireLover and the rest of them on their toes at all times:
- I challenge their olfactory senses with a gas that The Hook maintains could be weaponized.
- Culinary skills remained polished with my “Feed The Dog Chicken ‘n Rice and The Hook Grilled Cheese” meal plan.
- Funds that would normally go to frivolous human activities like rent, food, movies and comic books are diverted to vet bills and my Milk Bone addiction.
So that’s what I do for them. Now onto the juicy stuff, the secrets of the house. I see everything. I sleep on The Hook’s bed for most of the night and let me tell you, the things I see –
Okay, that’s enough! This The Hook folks, sorry about that. I think Chelsea got a little carried away here. I’m in th emiddle of March Break madness and I thought – foolishly – that my little four-legged thumbscrew could help out.
But I won’t be doing that again.
At any rate, here is a post from the lovely La La that reminds us of the power of dark humor. La La is one talented young lady and she has touched my soul with her humanity. You’ll laugh and maybe even cry, folks.