Things I Saw in Fifteen Minutes…


Watching a sweet old lady try to operate a cellphone is painful enough, but having to listen as she SCREAMS into said phone is a whole new level of terror.

THE HOOK: Miss, why don’t you simply put the phone down? I have a feeling whoever you’re speaking to will be able to hear you!

OLD HUSBAND: She’s a little loud, isn’t she?

THE HOOK: (In a straight laced tone) A Metallica concert is a little loud, sir. The young lady means well but my ears are bleeding.

Needless to say, he sympathized. Seriously, he had tiny pieces of cotton in his ears!


Seriously, she knew she was a whore and she wasn’t about to dress it up for anyone.

Speaking of which, she was sporting, or rather not sporting,…

  • An off-white (good choice!) mini-mini-dress with spaghetti straps.
  • A faux fur coat straight from the set of any film to feature street walkers.
  • High heels that would give a runway model a run for her money.
  • Messy long black hair. I’ll give her that one though, her hair was messy because she had just.. you know.
  • Speaking of which, she was stumbling through the lobby at one o’clock in the afternoon like a poodle who had just returned from a date – with an elephant.

At first, I found nothing but amusement in the who scenario: a disheveled Asian hooker wandering through a crowded lobby in the middle of the day, it was funny. But then I acknowledged a sobering truth: once upon a time this woman was someone’s little girl. Maybe she had tea parties with her dolls and had ringlets in her hair. Maybe she had dreams of being a teacher or a dancer. Now she was someone that showed up at a hotel room when some horny traveler decided he wanted to indulge his dark sexual appetites.

I almost hate the fact that my curious mind needs to look deeper, past the gaudy surface, in order to see what really makes people tick.

But this is who I am.

And this is my life. Or at least, fifteen minutes of it.



Benjamin Wallace is a new friend but a true one. Like Vina Kent, – and Jo Bryant before her – he’s come through with helpful tips and contacts where others have  brushed me off, in a friendly way, of course. Check his site out. He’s blazing a new trail for dumb, white husbands everywhere…


A shout-out to my blog buddy, Kristen Lamb and her best-selling tome, We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Give it a try, folks. You won’t be disappointed…


A fellow bellman and artiste/filmmaker extraordinaire, Joseph Mancini, has created a new digital presence to share with the world. Show him some of that awesome devotion you’ve bestowed upon yours truly and check his work out, okay? I appreciate it, folks. Until next time. stay cool…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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52 Responses to Things I Saw in Fifteen Minutes…

  1. Phil Gayle_For Singles and Couples says:

    Hi Robert,
    Lol! That old lady sounds exactly like my mother-in-law. 🙂
    On a more serious note…I have the same habit of “wandering what happened?” when I see those who have not dealt well with the stresses and negativity of life.
    The prostitute, homeless, the drunk and the mentally ill all cause me to look a bit deeper to and wonder.
    Your book is going on my Amazon wish list and will be in my next Amazon order. 🙂

    • The Hook says:

      Thanks, buddy! I hope I don’t disappoint you too much…

      • Phil Gayle_For Singles and Couples says:

        You’re welcome…
        I’ve read the U.S. customer review (mostly positive) and the single UK review (nothing to write home to mum about).
        I’ll make my own mind up and leave my review on Amazon UK when I’m done. 😉

      • The Hook says:

        Thanks, buddy! Every review helps steer me in a positive direction – I hope!

  2. Jennifer says:

    Ooh, same on the MIL. Devil woman (absolutely serious).
    At least you can say you never get bored at work.

  3. JackieP says:

    We writers look deeper. It’s just part of our makeup to ask why. I have your book on my wishlist as well……just got to wait for after the holidays to spend money on me 🙂

  4. Nadine says:

    I saw your comment on Jenny The Bloggess’s post and dropped by. I really enjoyed today’s post– so much that I bought your book. Count me in as an admirer or your writing.

  5. Ray's Mom says:

    He he, little ‘ole lady hookers’. That takes a lot of imagination…..

  6. Little old ladies operating cell phones are what make the world go ’round. Love it.

  7. Marian Green says:

    Your thoughtfulness about the hooker is touching. Very touching.

  8. legionwriter says:

    The Hook has a sensitive side. 🙂

  9. leah says:

    First the cell phones, then the Skype!

    It is really unfortunate that woman’s reality likely didn’t match the dreams she had when she was 5.

    Thanks for sharing another 15 minutes.

  10. Fiona says:

    I think it makes you one of the better people that you look beneath the surface that way. Appearances don’t tell us the full story. And it IS sad, wondering what the little girl’s dreams had been, and what happened that took her on such a different path.

  11. TBM says:

    I used to have an older boss who would ask for help with his computer. Watching him try to work the mouse and click on a small icon was excruciating. But I have to hand it to the woman–I don’t even have a cell phone so she’s hipper than me.

  12. >once upon a time this woman was someone’s little girl.
    – And it just went downhill from here for this Daddy’s Little Girl. In a good way, I mean.

    >I almost hate the fact that my curious mind needs to look deeper, past the gaudy surface, in order to see what really makes people tick.
    – And it’s precisely this trait of yours that had me Hook’d as a regular.

    Despite everything – good or otherwise – on the surface, everyone is a person.

    >But this is who I am.
    – Please don’t change.

    >A Metallica concert is a little loud, sir. The young lady means well but my ears are bleeding.
    – Your diplomatic comebacks are wonderful. I need to learn how to be blunt without injuring.


  13. What is it with old people who shout into their cell phones?! My parents shout on Skype too. And its no use tell them to keep it down. They truly believe I can’t hear them, when really all my neighbors know all about my mom’s latest gossip :/

    I think when you’ve been writing long enough, you naturally want to overanalyse and go deeper so we get a decent story out of it. I find myself doing things just to get a good story out of it.

  14. Phil Gayle_For Singles and Couples says:

    Just entering a comment to receive email notifications of your new posts. 🙂

  15. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    A poodle who had returned from a date with an elephant – love that, Hook, really smiled at that image 🙂

  16. robincoyle says:

    Your Asian hooker story reminded me of when my mom saw a puck-rock dude covered in tattoos and more piercing than a sieve and said, “Imagine, that was once someone’s darling baby boy.”

  17. Looking deeper makes us better people and teaches our children to do the same. Everyone has a story and we only see the surface..or what the media tells us:)
    We both have daughters and I can only imagine what you felt when you allowed yourself to imagine herself as someones little girl. Just reading this made me close my eyes and want to hold on tighter. I’d say it was a pretty productive 15 minutes.
    Great Post

  18. Well written. Actually you could do some serious novel-type writing with this: great images, well turned phrases, astute observations of people and life…someday, Hook when you are ready-that may be your direction down the road – the potential is there. (having a daughter colors your thoughts.)
    Oh, sorry. Getting out of the light hilarious Hook blog mood:
    Until then, we love you as you are!!! Outstanding frivolity as predicted!

  19. Lafemmeroar says:

    lol on the poodle and the elephant … what a visual! Keep on going deeper with your noodle –I luv it! 🙂

  20. Jo Bryant says:

    So many forget that fact…no matter what they do or who they are…once they were someone’s baby.

  21. becca3416 says:

    My mom does the phone thing and she is only in her fifties. The world needs to be warned.

  22. “my curious mind needs to look deeper, past the gaudy surface, in order to see what really makes people tick.”
    You are indeed that, my dear Hook…! 😉

  23. Mary Maltba says:

    Hey lovely from a girlfan. Continue the awe-inspiring posts!

  24. Pingback: This Could Only Happen To Me… | You've Been Hooked!

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