WARNING: Some readers may find material contained herein to be objectionable and damaging to the image of the hospitality industry in Niagara Falls…
But those people are stupid.
THE SITUATION: A room move – at 8:20 a.m. Trust me, if you’re a bellman, you thinking “A room move at eight in the morning? WTF?” But above all, I am professional so off I went…
Thank God I did.
I’m waiting for an elevator in the lobby when a modern-day Amazonian princess struts by.
- Her dark blue outfit was so tight (high skirt and low-cut top, you get the picture, right?) you could have bounced a quarter off her butt.
- The bun in her raven hair was so tight she could have passed for an Asian gal.
- “Ultra-white” flesh was perfectly adorned with just enough make-up to fit into that grey area between upscale and trashy.
- The only element missing was a pair of “naughty librarian” glasses.
Mental image established? We’ll proceed: as Wonder Woman with a briefcase sauntered by she happened to catch one of her heels on some sort of obstruction on the floor. The cause is irrelevant; its the effect that is of interest.
Her handbag hit the floor, spilling the contents – handcuffs and flavored condoms – out across the lobby for any schmuck with a blog to see. Once my astonishment/giddiness passed I moved in her direction to render assistance, but she had already scooped up her goodies – I’m guessing fast hands are a much-needed plus for this gal – and she continued on her way.
Cheshire grin firmly in place, I moved on as well. Unfortunately, my new friend headed to a different tower but she had served her purpose. My next guest encounter was equally memorable – and the guest wasn’t even there! My room move turned out to be a “room pack-up” as the guest decided to simply take off to his meetings without packing his clothes or toiletries!
Now, I’m a pretty accommodating bellman but the line has to be drawn somewhere. Hotel policy has always prohibited handling a guest’s unpacked belongings, so I shook my head – it’s a wonder it hasn’t fallen off by now – and made my way back to my desk.
An hour later our phone rang; my clueless guest wanted to check on the status of his move and when he was informed of our policy, his response was… well, you decide.
“I’m in meetings all day and I’m too busy to do things like pack my things!”
Can’t argue with that logic, I guess.
So I donned my butler’s outfit, packed his metrosexual clothes and toiletries (pink and blue polo t-shirts and styling gel and body spray) and despite my urge to do otherwise, gently placed them in the new room. Our paths never actually crossed, but my mystery guest was connected to one of our major clients so I decided to write the entire experience off as a challenge and leave it at that.
I may have just disappointed some of you by not exacting a plan of delicious revenge, but I gave you the upscale hooker, so back off, okay?
TIME FOR OTHER BUSINESS..
A shout-out to my blog buddy, Kristen Lamb and her best-selling tome, We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Give it a try, folks. You won’t be disappointed…
CHECK IT OUT!!
ONE LAST BIT OF NEWS…
The next chapter of my first foray into fiction is up and running at Wattpad. I have a long way to go as a fiction writer, and I could use all the constructive criticism I can get, so help me out, okay?
- Lancelot, Interrupted! (youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com)