Who Says Mondays Are Boring?

WARNING: Some readers may find material contained herein to be objectionable and damaging to the image of the hospitality industry in Niagara Falls…

But those people are stupid.

THE SITUATION: A room move – at 8:20 a.m. Trust me, if you’re a bellman, you thinking “A room move at eight in the morning? WTF?” But above all, I am professional so off I went…

Thank God I did.

I’m waiting for an elevator in the lobby when a modern-day Amazonian princess struts by.

  • Her dark blue outfit was so tight (high skirt and low-cut top, you get the picture, right?) you could have bounced a quarter off her butt.
  • The bun in her raven hair was so tight she could have passed for an Asian gal.
  • “Ultra-white” flesh was perfectly adorned with just enough make-up to fit into that grey area between upscale and trashy.
  • The only element missing was a pair of “naughty librarian” glasses.

Mental image established? We’ll proceed: as Wonder Woman with a briefcase sauntered by she happened to catch one of her heels on some sort of obstruction on the floor. The cause is irrelevant; its the effect that is of interest.

Her handbag hit the floor, spilling the contents – handcuffs and flavored condoms – out across the lobby for any schmuck with a blog to see.  Once my astonishment/giddiness passed I moved in her direction to render assistance, but she had already scooped up her goodies – I’m guessing fast hands are a much-needed plus for this gal – and she continued on her way.

Naughty Librarians Convention

Naughty Librarians Convention (Photo credit: DangerRanger)

Cheshire grin firmly in place, I moved on as well. Unfortunately, my new friend headed to a different tower but she had served her purpose. My next guest encounter was equally memorable – and the guest wasn’t even there! My room move turned out to be a “room pack-up” as the guest decided to simply take off to his meetings without packing his clothes or toiletries!

Now, I’m a pretty accommodating bellman but the line has to be drawn somewhere. Hotel policy has always prohibited handling a guest’s unpacked belongings, so I shook my head – it’s a wonder it hasn’t fallen off by now – and made my way back to my desk.

An hour later our phone rang; my clueless guest wanted to check on the status of his move and when he was informed of our policy, his response was… well, you decide.

“I’m in meetings all day and I’m too busy to do things like pack my things!”

Can’t argue with that logic, I guess.

So I donned my butler’s outfit, packed his metrosexual clothes and toiletries (pink and blue polo t-shirts and styling gel and body spray) and despite my urge to do otherwise, gently placed them in the new room. Our paths never actually crossed, but my mystery guest was connected to one of our major clients so I decided to write the entire experience off as a challenge and leave it at that.

I may have just disappointed some of you by not exacting a plan of delicious revenge, but I gave you the upscale hooker, so back off, okay?


A shout-out to my blog buddy, Kristen Lamb and her best-selling tome, We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Give it a try, folks. You won’t be disappointed…



The next chapter of my first foray into fiction is up and running at Wattpad. I have a long way to go as a fiction writer, and I could use all the constructive criticism I can get, so help me out, okay?

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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56 Responses to Who Says Mondays Are Boring?

  1. becca3416 says:

    I would never even fathom having someone pack my things for me. I mean, I don’t have anything as kinky as the upscale hooker going on in my luggage, but come on. Underwear, shaving cream, and toothbrushes are personal man.

  2. robincoyle says:

    But, but, but . . . why was he changing rooms? You leave me hanging? Not fair.

  3. TBM says:

    Someone wanted you to pack their things … wow … that’s a new one for me.

  4. MissFourEyes says:

    Perhaps he was busy in “meetings” because of handcuffs and flavored condoms girl?

  5. Ray's Mom says:

    You are having waaaay too much fun – while being paid to do so….love it!

  6. I would NEVER forget my librarian glasses !

  7. Lafemmeroar says:

    LOL on ” modern-day Amazonian princess struts by”

    I can see your life in a sitcom … hilarious post! One of my favs I think 🙂 Tweeting it now 🙂

  8. This is the first of your posts I’ve read, and I have to say I love your blunt way of writing. Your style leaves little to be asked and paints a detailed image in my mind. I look forward to reading more from you and would like to thank you for your comments on my blog.

  9. I read and I think this cant possibly be true. It would never occur to me to have a stranger pack my stuff. That’s personal! The lady with the bag…now that’s just. Well to each they’re own. Hope he didn’t pay too much.

  10. leah says:

    Loved every bit of this post. Such restraint. If it were me, his shirts would have been crumpled in little balls and if he complained, I would have said “he asked me to pack and that’s how I pack. That’s why my hubby does the packing in our house.”. Plus I see no mention of a tip. Karma will get him. L.

  11. There is a ‘time and place’ for revenge.. It is of great importance to be ‘in the moment’ for ‘the moment’ will present itself without interference or control… Here’s to your unequaled restraint…! 😉

  12. I won’t let my husband pack for me, much less a complete stranger (no offense). I’d be afraid of forgetting something!

  13. You just hear stories about what can happen to your stuff when other people pack it for you is all …hehehehehe…thanks for the laugh Hook 🙂

  14. adelesymonds says:

    I don’t comment very often, but I love your blog posts. They brighten my day. There is grace in defeat. Maybe your act of kindness will be returned some day. Maybe you could have gone a step further and unpacked it for him as well. Put it all away neatly in his new room, got a mug ready for his cuppa when he got back. Pulled the covers down on the bed so he wouldn’t have to strain himself. And then left a note saying how you thought he may be too busy or tired to do all this for himself as well, signed by the surrogate wife/mother. P.S. Thanks would be appreciated.
    This may have shamed him… but there again, probably not.

  15. mairedubhtx says:

    You have the most interesting experiences. My life pales next to yours.

  16. wow, maybe I need her purse. Mine just has a past due electric bill in it… hers is obviously more fun!

  17. If I had your job I would end up being SOOOOO nosey!!

  18. Val says:

    The cheeky so and so… I would have put itchy powder in his polo shirts!

  19. >But those people are stupid.
    – Aaand we’re off to a good start!

    >Cheshire grin firmly in place
    – You’re a mean one, Mr.Hook.

    >I may have just disappointed some of you by not exacting a plan of delicious revenge,
    – See? I know you’re turning a new leaf. Ha.

    >but I gave you the upscale hooker, so back off, okay?
    – Oooh, yes! It’s great to live vicariously through the tails, I mean, tales you tell.

    Your banner? A dome? Or carpet? Hmm. Me thinks the former. Feels curved-ish at both ends of the shot.

    I’ve just checked your site after a week, okay, longer, going by the dates of your posts and whoa! You’ve been a-postin’, Hook!

    Enjoyed reading about Chip Of The Old Block’s day around The Old Block. No, I’m not calling YOU old. I’m not even referring to you, Hook. By Old Block, I meant, the HOTEL you work at. *batting eyelids furiously hoping you buy that fib*


  20. Oh my goodness. People are fascinating, I can’t believe someone would make you pack their luggage. It’s actually kind of strange to me, I would feel really strange having someone pack my belongings for me…

  21. raisingdaisy says:

    Sounds like you’ve got a sequel to the Bellman Chronicles! 😀

  22. Is it weird that if I were going to be a hooker, I’d want to be like the librarian-type hooker?…

  23. jlheuer says:

    Librarian fantasies,hmmm? A former librarian wants to know. 😉

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