Tourist Math, Kardashian Clones and Other Sunday Surprises…

A colleague of mine recently found himself forced to assume the role of a math tutor to a pair of guests.

“M -EFFIN LEE”: (Yeah, that’s what we call him; it’s not as cool as “The Hook”, but its pretty close!) How many bags would you like to store, folks?

YOUNG EINSTEIN: One and a couple!

“M-EFFIN” LEE”: I’m sorry, how many?

YOUNG EINSTEIN: (Looks around at his three bags) One and a couple!

This isn’t just funny, it’s an indictment of the modern educational system… Young Einstein could have also said “One and four less than seven.”

As for my Sunday, it was filled with the usual colorful characters;

  • A birthday party consisting of a dozen 16-year-old Kim Kardashian clones whose attire made the real deal look like Mother Teresa ! Seriously, just picture Christina Aguilera, but waay sluttier… I was worried I’d be arrested for simply being in the same lobby as these prepubescent swamp donkeys.
  • Having hung-over cougars and drunken Alpha males in the same lobby at check-out time doesn’t mix; the cougars circled the males, who talked a good game, but couldn’t actually close the deal. The spectacle got old quick.


A shout-out to my newest blog buddy, Kristen Lamb and her best-selling tome, We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Give it a try, folks. You won’t be disappointed…


My first foray into blogging minimalism, 1,001 Reasons Why Steve Sucks… is up and running. Give it a look-see, will you?


This was how my day ended; not with a whimper, but a bang – almost!

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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32 Responses to Tourist Math, Kardashian Clones and Other Sunday Surprises…

  1. Haha, that tweet was so hilarious.

    And what’s wrong with parents, right? Which idiot leaves their children to walk around like that!?

    In an article I published a week ago I wrote a passed a store that sold thongs in sizes only a 9-year-old would be able to fit. That actually happened. I didn’t make that up. What is wrong with the world?

    And how did you do that tweet-thing in your post? That’s pretty awesome.

  2. jimshortz says:

    Sluttier than Christina Aguilera? I’m intrigued. Please tell me more.
    And ditto what Daan said about the tweet-thing. I rarely have use for it, but it would be a nice thing to add to the ol’ bag o’ tricks.

    • The Hook says:

      Here’s the link to the article I used.
      What can I say about the Kardashian clones? These girls were far too young to be parading around like the love children of porn stars and strippers! Seriously, they looked super slutty, far too slutty for a “Sweet Sixteen” party…

      • jimshortz says:

        I assume you’re talking about those privileged princesses they parade around on television (how’d you like my alliteration?). The kind of girls who spend the better part of their 20s and 30s going clubbing and having no idea that drinks actually cost money, right?

      • The Hook says:

        You would be correct, sir!

      • jimshortz says:

        If you can help it, don’t hang around in their presence too long. There’s well-documented research that indicates you will get dumber the longer you are exposed to them.

      • The Hook says:

        Fortunately, they were buzzing around like bees on Red Bull, so they were gone quickly…

  3. mcqty says:

    Great tweet !! The thought of cloning Kardashians makes me want to go into hiding !! Lord, help us all !

  4. becca3416 says:

    I don’t know what you are talking about. Dry humping on the valet deck is super classy.

  5. becca3416 says:

    By the way, I love 1001 Reasons Why Steve Sucks too.

  6. leah says:

    Sluttier than X-Tina? That’s pretty darned slutty. L.

  7. You get to have all the fun…! 😉

  8. TBM says:

    I can count to ten…still have all ten fingers. Not sure about one and a couple.

  9. Tim Rueb says:

    I got a good laugh, great post, but couldn’t help but wonder if taking pictures of these glittering jewels of our societies wouldn’t also help drive the point home even more. I would have loved to see the empty looking face of “One and a couple” boy. Just to see how slow the wheels were really turning! 8)

  10. I was done the honor of selecting the next nominees for the Versatile Blogger Award and because I appreciate your work, I nominated you

    You can read about it here:


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