First, an apology: I hit “Publish” before I titled this one! Yeah, I’m a jackasss..
I’m tired; not “Lindsay Lohan tired”, but exhausted in my soul.
I’m fed-up, not “Russell Crowe fed-up”; I’ve never beaten a hotel employee with a phone – even when they deserved it.
And I’m as lost as a Kim Kardashian in a public library. I just don’t know which way to turn anymore.
I feel like every attempt at marketing my book has resulted in complete and utter failure. I haven’t been rejected by anyone in the big leagues, I’ve been ignored. And I’m just so tired of it all. A Calgary mom goes on strike for six days and becomes an instant media sensation; there are hundreds of bloggers – not to mention responsible parents – out there who have labored for years without any recognition, much less any talk-show bookings, and all this woman had to do was let her kids go wild for six days and she hits the jackpot?
Before you say, “Hey, Hook, that lady is a hero to millions of parents!”, let me say this: I simply don’t agree with exploiting and possibly scarring your kids for life to get yourself booked on a few talk shows. This lady’s children will be linked to this incident forever. These kids are ten and twelve, for Pete’s sake! If they’re not cleaning up after themselves, do what our parents would have done and MAKE THEM! if I ever achieve any fame or fortune, it won’t be because I told the world my daughter is out of control and inconsiderate.
You want to raise great kids, folks? Then be a shining example of what a good person is – and leave the red wine in the bottle while you’re doing it…
By the way, I went on strike once; our household never ran better…
Back to my life, which is pretty darn great, by the way…
- I have a great family: both at home and at work.
- I’ve written and published my first book; I’m taking a major beating while trying to market the damn thing, but I’ve still achieved a portion of my dream ,and that ain’t bad.
- My online column is doing well and the blogs live on.
So why do I feel so heartsick? Why do I feel like throwing in the towel?
Because I’m human, that’s why. We all feel defeated every once in a while, and I think I just needed to let my pain pour out.
And now I’m done.
Here is the beginning of.. Well. I’m not sure what this is. but it came to me in the darkness not so long ago, and I need to share…
When I was nine-years-old, I slew a dragon.
His claws tore into the earth as easily as a surgeon slices flesh, his tail shook the pillars of Heaven as it collided with the park grass beneath it. Thick, black smoke, so hot it consumed the very oxygen around me, billowed from his flaring nostrils. Flames licked the back of his teeth, but the real fire was dancing behind his eyes.
That fire would only be quelled by my death.
Giant, powerful wings capable of disrupting weather patterns with a single flap propelled him above the ground and he lunged forward. Darkness surrounded me, but my youthful resolve held firm and I raised my makeshift weapon, held together with Elmer’s glue and duct tape, and with a single stroke it split my opponent’s leathery hide and gelatinous, putrid fluid spilled out, mixing with the morning dew. The dragon fell to my right and fell with a thunderclap. He twitched for a few minutes and then died.
His form shimmered in the newly-born sun and then it began to steam; my eyes stung and I was blinded for a long while. When the steam cleared all that remained were the undigested bones of his victims.
As you can imagine, after that morning the next few years of my life were relatively boring.
But I’m getting ahead of myself; I tend to do that. Most stories would end when the dragon drew its last breath – mine was just beginning.
AND HERE’S A REVIEW OF THE BELLMAN CHRONICLES
BOOK REVIEW: The Bellman Chronicles
BY: Qui, QuiEntertainment.com
October 15, 2012
“So I step out of my comfort zone and pop the trunk on my wordpress community and
who literally approaches me ever so eloquently? It was Robert Hookey and I have been
Hook’ed every since. “
The introduction of The Bellman Chronicles was comparable to a loaded pistol and suddenly I was packing heat, (238‐pages of it). I received my copy just in time for a road trip to California (which is 5.5 hours to and from our starting point).
I would surely classify this novel as a reality/comedy. Which is interesting in itself, since I don’t know of many other reality books that could get away with journaling
the truth on any given day and be as riveting. The Bellman Chronicles is an absolute
page‐turner. There was story after story of guests who were clueless, tip‐useless,
sex‐heavy and some down right comically petty. I’m sure the characters in the book
did not set out to be funny, ill‐witty or tip light; however, when the chronicles are
told from Robert Hookey’s point of view, it all comes to light in tasteful humor.
I’m a fan of daytime television, soap operas to be exact. I’m a scriptwriter by
profession and am willing to bet The Bellman Chronicles as a soap opera would give
The Young and The Restless a run for their money on any day. There’s nothing more
revolving than the doors of a hotel and the stories of the people that use them.
The Bellman Chronicles is a delightfully entertaining, insightful and quick read.
Three reasons why you should read The Bellman Chronicles:
• You’ve been a hotel guest before (you may find your own story)
• You’re curious about the noises you’ve heard coming from the room next
• You’re curious about proper tipping etiquettes
The road trip to California was complete with our own hotel stay. I am sure that we
were much better guests post our introduction to The Bellman Chronicles. I
personally was on my best behavior, because you never know when you might be
Hook’ed into print. Life is funny and Robert Hookey has chronicled it.
TIME FOR OTHER BUSINESS..
A shout-out to my newest blog buddy, Kristen Lamb and her best-selling tome, We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Give it a try, folks. You won’t be disappointed…
- Want To See The Hook on Steven and Chris? The Hook Does… (youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com)