You Don’t Pull The Mask Off That Old Lone Ranger And You Don’t Mess Around With The Hook!

Some guests just don’t get it. Or rather, they simply don’t care.

I recently ran into a guy who felt he could score some points with his girlfriend if he ran down the bellman. Unfortunately, he failed to take two important details into account:

  1. You don’t have to resort to publicly humiliating service workers to impress a hooker. I’m sure the young lady in question would argue the point and refer to herself as an “escort”, but the end result was the same: she was a bought and paid-for companion.
  2. When you shake a beehive, you’re going to get stung. The same principle applies when dealing with The Hook.

We’ll call this guy “John”, for obvious reasons… He felt it would be cool to hand me two wrinkled American one-dollar bills after I unloaded his eight bags of shoes, designer clothes and photography equipment. John also thought it would make him look even cooler in the eyes of his “girlfriend” if her smirked from ear-to-ear as he did so. 

JOHN: Here you go, Boss! Now you can get some dinner!

John made a horrible miscalculation.

THE HOOK: Not without a time machine, I can’t.

The “girlfriend” exploded into a fit of laughter, any further putdowns from John died in his throat as his smirk melted away and The Hook headed off to record the entire incident for posterity.

Just to be clear: “The Customer is Always Right”, does NOT always apply in the corridors of a hotel…


Mark your cyber-calendars, folks…. My first free giveaway of The Bellman Chronicles runs September 10 – 11! As part of Amazon’s KDP Select program, I get a five-day window to share my work with the world for the low, low price of absolutely nothin’!

Get ready to enjoy my masterpiece for FREE – and be sure to tell your friends! I need reviews, people! You’ll be helping me out in two ways:

  1. I desperately need the reviews. Some book bloggers won’t even look at your work unless you fulfill a quota.
  2. Every download raises my Amazon ranking and shines a brighter light on my work, which is currently invisible as far as the reading masses are concerned!


A shout-out to my newest blog buddy, Kristen Lamb and her best-selling tome, We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Give it a try, folks. You won’t be disappointed…

And now… My first Blog Hop!

It's a Blog Hop, baby! Get hoppin'!

Starting 9/1 through 9/15, Romance at Random, & the participating sites below, are hosting a blog hop with FREE books! Enter your name into the Rafflecopter & you could be chosen to win:

  • A Free Romance book! (10 winners in all)
  • Be one of 5 winners to win a prize pack from author Elisabeth Barrett (check out her new release, BLAZE OF WINTER, below)
  • Grand Prize is a $25 eGC

Happy Hopping!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

1. Romance At Random 2. Ruthie Knox
3. Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews 4. Reading Reality
5. Storm Goddess Book Reviews 6. Manga Maniac Cafe
7. Full Moon Bites 8. Reading with Holly
9. Bookie’s Book Reviews 10. All Things Books
11. Good Choice Reading 12. The Write to Make a Living
13. The Book Diva 14. Bea’s Book Nook
15. Shawntelle Madison 16. Elisabeth Barrett
17. Socrates’ Book Review Blog 18. Shelley Munro
19. Insane Hussein Reviews 20. Books R Us
21. Jessica Scott 22. Book Flame
23. Manic Readers Guest Blog 24. My Book Addiction and More
25. SOS Aloha 26. Pump Up Your Book
27. Sharon Cullen 28. Under the Covers Book Blog
29. The Book Tart 30. Reviews by Molly
31. Laurie’s Thoughts & Reviews 32. Seductive Musings
33. Romance Junkies 34. Love To Read For Fun
35. Cassandra Carr 36. BookHounds
37. Otterwise 38. From the TBR Pile
39. Love Saves the World (INT) 40. Sharon Cullen
41. So You Think You Can Write 42. Babbles From Scott Eagan
43. Bronwyn’s Writing 44. TE Garden of Book Bloggers
45. Bookshelf Confessions 46. Review From Here
47. Celticlady’s Reviews 48. Labor Day Hop
49. Romantic Reads and Such 50. In Love with Romance
51. The Bookpushers 52. Reviewing Romance
53. Queen of The Night Reviews 54. Queen of All she Reads
55. Romantic Crush Junkie Reviews 56. Saucy & Sinful Reviews
57. Romancing the Book 58. Book Faery
59. Harlies Books 60. Love, Laughter, Friendship
61. Ramblings From This Chick 62. My Secret Romance
63. Rambling Reads 64. Delighted Readers
65. suzy henderson 66. Romancing Rakes For The Love of Romance
67. Blackraven’s Erotic Cafe 68. HEA Romances With a Little Kick
69. AJ’s Reading Nook 70. Blackraven’s Reviews
71. The Readers Roundtable 72. Dark Divas Reviews
73. T B R 74. Romance Book Club
75. Seaside Book Nook 76. Cheeky Reads
77. Mimmi’s Musings 78. Kindle Fever
79. Not Now…Mommy’s Reading 80. herding cats & burning soup
81. Kindles and Wine 82. Harlequin Junkie
83. Caribbean Accent Book Reviews 84. Sara Jane’s Eclectic Reading Blog
85. Sharon Hamilton Author 86. Coffey Brown Books
87. From the Bootheel Cotton Patch 88. Teena in Toronto
89. Me and Reading 90. The Romance Dish
91. All Things Books 92. Amber Kallyn
93. Book Review Diva 94. Leigh Ellwood
95. Me Want Food 96. Captain marketing
97. One Word At A Time, Joan Swan, Author 98. You’ve Been Hooked
99. The Things You Can Read 100. The Autumn Review
101. Day Drmzzz 102. Confessions From Romaholics
103. The Book of Terrible

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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32 Responses to You Don’t Pull The Mask Off That Old Lone Ranger And You Don’t Mess Around With The Hook!

  1. Woman says:

    Nah… the customer is not always right.

    Especially when they are being morons.

  2. Jennifer says:

    Oh that’s harsh. Love it when guys like that fall over in front of their girls. Suckers!!!!

  3. Woman says:

    Reblogged this on The World According to Woman and commented:
    I do not usually re-blog or re-post much I know. But this one here I think is deserving of some attention.

    A hilarious and at times insightful blogger “The Hook” decided to write and publish a book. And this book is all about his observations of working int eh trenches of the hotel industry. He’s a bellman.

    The Lone Bellman?

    Anyways, he is a bellman in southern Ontario and the following is just one of his many accounts of his dealings with those who travel and visit his hotel.

    And all I have to say is… his wit is wicked sharp!!!

  4. Pingback: Woman pimps “The Hook” « The World According to Woman

  5. Scriptor Obscura says:

    Priceless! 🙂

  6. TBM says:

    Good for you Hook! That guy was a jerk. I’ve got my calendar marked for your book 🙂 Can’t wait!

  7. Kanerva says:

    Timing is everything 🙂 you have a great talent there! Usually by the time I come up with a juicy comeback, the moment is long gone…

  8. leah says:

    To be a fly on the wall at that time. You have the best retorts.

  9. Man, John is one rude customer. Sad when people loose their manner or show that they never had one. Hook, you are a great person and talented human being and no person can take that from you. Congratulations on your book. I wish you all the best!

  10. raisingdaisy says:

    Hahaha GREAT reply Hook! What a dope that “John” was!

  11. Saw your “HOOK about yout BOOK” on the Funny Names blog. I look forward to downloading your book. The result of my own KDP Select 5-day givaway at the end of MAY?

    WELL, 242 people downloaded the book, but no one left a review, and i didn’t sell any copies. Not sure I want to run this offer every 90 days.

  12. littlesundog says:

    Well done, my clever friend! You are always quick with the comebacks!

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