It was recently brought to my attention that my work is considered to be mean-spirited towards tourists, to which I respond with the following query: so what?
Is Denis Leary considered a mean person? Is Lewis Black considered a vindictive soul?
Okay, so the answer is a resounding “yes”, but they consider such labels a badge of honor and so do I. In fact, the mere existence of a critic validates my work. I wasn’t entirely sure I was on the right track until someone told me I’ve been ticking people off! Now I just need to anger someone who is actually somebody. Now who do I know with a million Twitter followers?
At any rate, let’s get back to business, shall we? Here are a few things you need to know about The Hook….
- I actually love tourists! Not literally, of course, (Sorry, ladies, I’m taken!) but they’ve given me a outlet for my creative energies, and for that I will be forever grateful.
- My work focuses on a small percentage of the traveling population. Most people are decent and quiet to their bellman, not loud and obnoxious.
- Long ago I learned to accept an irrefutable fact of (a bellman’s) life: some people will “stiff” you, and well-intentioned ones, at that. As long as a guest is pleasant, friendly and a decent conversationalist – you’d be amazed how many “regular” people completely ignore service personnel – I’m willing to accept that some people simply don’t realize that cultural convention dictates you tip your bellman, server, valet, etc. Some people still don’t realize they have the internet on computer.
- Although I prefer Coke to Pepsi, blue is my favorite color. I am a complicated man, my friends.
- In spite of my willingness to go toe-to-toe with a guest – but only when absolutely necessary – I have been awarded for going “above and beyond” in the execution of my duties. Yes, as hard as it is to believe, I have actually won a company-wide award for taking pride in my job and for looking out for the welfare of my fellow employees and the guests we serve. I know some of you are dumfounded right now, to which I can only say, “Welcome to the Matrix!”
- Although I am more than willing to carry your luggage, I really wish I didn’t have to deal with your “baggage”. The modern traveler seems to have forgotten the purpose of a vacation is to relax and leave your troubles behind with the family dog.
And finally,
- This column, my book and my blogs are intended to serve as ENTERTAINMENT, PEOPLE! Nothing more, nothing less.
In closing, I would like to address my critics directly: thanks for reading (isn’t it funny how critics still manage to read/watch everything you do?) and please, tell your friends. After all, any publicity is good publicity.
Available on Amazon.com , kids! And the Kindle, of course. It’s a steal at $4.99!
You've Been Hooked! 
Keep on doing you my friend.
I intend to!
I gave you a well-deserved five-star review at Amazon. Jesus was “mean” by many standards because he called a spade a spade. So?
Well said!
I SO agree with you on peoples’ propensity to be miserable on vacation. What’s that point? They could stay home for vacation. It would be cheaper and easier.
Indeed! I’m glad you see it as well…
Having worked in hospitality and as a domestic employee, I know how crappily (a word? now it is!) that small percentage can behave, and I applaud your turning to humorous (and hopefully profitable!) cheek 🙂
Carry on!
Another supporter! You rule!
Denis Leary is mean but hilarious. Really like your posts.
That’s great to hear, Leah. Thanks.
You, The Hook, mean spirited? That must make me an arrogant, sarcastic, insensitive sob. Stay original … when you get the critics attention you know you’ve made that first step up the ladder of success. Luv ya long time!
My feelings exactly! Thanks!
They (critics) just don’t get the Hook’s sense of humor. Wonder if they were reading your blog before they criticized your work? Oh well, We enjoy your work so keep it coming!
I will, don’t worry!
What do they know anyway. Your posts never fail to make me smile, laugh or snort… May douchebag tourists keep coming your way.. 🙂
They’ll NEVER go away, Jennifer.. Trust me!
If aspire to be anything other than average and you don’t have critics, then you have done nothing that is worth talking about – or writing about.
You have done well, Hook. You have done well.
Tim
I appreciate the support, Tim – truly.
Be who you are and don’t sweat the small stuff. I learned a long time ago you will never make everyone happy. As long as the important people in your life are okay, you’ve done a good job. I personally think you’re funny. Bravo!
You rock, my friend!
Great post man Congrats on your book. And I hate tourist that drive their cars so slow to take pictures of building ugh.
I hear you, my friend….
Wow – congrats on your book! So awesome! I definitely will check that out and get a copy (and write a glowing review as well!) Keep doing what you do – I think your posts are hilarious and enlightening! It’s like people watching but I don’t have to leave the house 😉
Yes, it’s cool to “people watch” without having to actually interact with them!
The critics are probably the same people that turn into douchbags while on vacation! They can see themselves so clearly in your book it hurts.
It’s available on Kindle now? WAHOO!
I know, it rocks to be out there, right? Thanks, Jennifer.
It certainly does, I’ve always danced to the beat of my own drum.
As well you should.
Wow you are cool enough to have critics now! That’s awesome. Keep up the good work.
I intend to do just that!
It is strange but a lot of people are at their worst during their vacations..
I am sure the people who have criticized you work have acted cheap during their vacation time and now are wondering if its them you are talking about..
My critics are actually right here in my own backyard! But I get your point, my friend.
Have you asked for some gratuities yet – shares, pay increase and the like?
The publicity must be worth a bomb…. (Not literally, mind….) 🙂
You may have a point…
This must be the holidays, enjoy tranquility, relax and forget for a few days, loc agibios, bad time at work. I just came to spend a nice holiday.
A hug The Hook
Thanks for the hugs, young lady!
This must be the holidays, enjoy tranquility, relax and forget for a few days, loc agibios, bad time at work. I just came to spend a nice holiday.
A hug The Hook.
I prefer Coke to Pepsi as well, but I am curious; where do you stand on the all-important Mountain Dew vs. Mello Yello question? 🙂
Do the Dew!
You mean spirited? to coin an old phrase we use in blighty – “my arse!” – foibles are funny and you are wonderful at highlighting them. We are all fools!
Indeed…
Great response, Hook. I particularly like the last one about luggage and baggage. Neat wordplay. (…….and what’s with the pretty ferns at the top? I thought I was on the wrong page. I trust you’re not going soft. 🙂 )
Not a chance!
I don’t think you are mean to tourists. You certainly present a balanced view of the different types of people who walk through your establishment. Besides, if you wrote just about the nice tourists, the book would be pretty boring. The book is meant to entertain and the crazies you get are entertaining. And you are indeed correct. There are a lot of folks out there who have no idea that one should tip service personnel, be it bellmen, nail salon workers, hairdressers, or whoever. That said, I still say you wrote a great and entertaining book.
And I still say you’re a wise woman!
Seriously, those “critics” should get a sense of humor. OR….maybe they’re the thoughtless, abusive, baggage-riddled tourists who take all their crap out on hotel employees and are now throwing hissy fits! To them I quote the Guns & Roses song – “Back Off B****”!
PS~ Welcome to the world of writing/journalism, where every non-writer thinks he/she is a bonafide critic. I was once flamed online for righting the wrong information about a historical event and a famous person who took part in that event – mind you, the angry person was a descendant of that historical figure and just didn’t want the truth of his ancestor’s actions made public. “Let’s not cloud the issue with facts” was the theme of his anger. Many readers came to my defense because I’d done irrefutable research from first-hand documents. The upshot was that my editor LOVED the debate because it drew lots of attention to the site. So, in that vein – you’re doing a great job! 🙂
Another smart blogger! Thank you.
Maybe I’m being too serious about this, but I always thought your blog was pretty clear that there were good people you dealt with and the losers were fodder for your sarcasm, but not the majority.
Yeah, there’s all types out there and you convey that humorously.
Nancy
Thanks, Nancy!
OK. Now that the critics have confirmed what i HOPED your book was about, it’s a MUST buy! xo
I have the smartest fans…
I’m truly puzzled about how anyone could have interpreted your writing as mean spirited. I’ve never, ever thought it to be that way – if anything, you err on the side of unfailingly polite and patient. Publicity is publicity, though 🙂
Well said, young woman!
Just got back from vacation and I was right, none of our hotels had a Bellman, which leads me to believe that the people who can afford to stay at your establishment should be able to fork over a nice tip! I was however completely surprised to learn that I was supposed to tip the girls on the dolphin cruise that walked around the entire time reminding everyone to keep an eye on their children. I guess I should have paid her for that advice, because it never would have occurred to me to keep an eye on kids when stepping onto a big ship out in the middle of the ocean…
What a world we live in, right?
You are hilarious. Keep it up! Critics shmitics…?
You’re one smart cookie!
I love your takes on human nature. Every service postition has 98% great but that 2% give you so much to make fun of. People are unique and interersting. I say keep rocking on.
Rock on? Sounds good to me!
I can so totally believe you got an award Hook !!!!!!!!!!! Critics – yippee – that means you’re getting there my friend. You know the fact that they read it at all is good…and they hopefully talk about the guy who is mean about hotel guests so that others slink over for a look and have a laugh and on it goes. I think Jennifer is right. The critics see themselves and they don’t really like the way they end up looking like dumbarses. So to the critics I say…’*&^$_#^#@!*&$@~…off !!!!! There’s enough of us out here who think you rock Hook !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I believe you, Jo!
They are probably just jealous Hook.
What a terrible touchy feely society you live in. Shall I add my “bleeding heart” to the mix of complaints?
1) I feel that everyone who complains about their work in their blogs is boring. They do so with with a song in their heart thinking that they have received the short end of the stick because they got fired for sleeping with the bosses husband. Or lover. Or had sex int he elevator. Or wrote “Screw you guys I’m going home” on a memo and circulated it. Or better yet? Had sex on the copy machine. You know these people. They complain bitterly about their jobs, hate their jobs, hate their lives, and all they do is complain about their jobs.
Mister The Hook through Woman’s eyes one number one: Always look on the bright side of life… you take the oh wait.. what’s your tag line again??? You who see the best and worst of humanity and make observations upon it (or would that be an us?).
2) “I’m surrounded by idiots” there are those bloggers out there that think they are the bestestestest and brightest and always right person in every situation. They have an ego bigger than the size of my boobs.
Mister The Hook through Woman’s eyes number two: for some reason I don’t think anyone could say this about you. You fall down then pick yourself up again, you might jump into your pants rather than one leg at a time but that just means you get some morning exercise. Not because you are any more special than the next yoodle that crosses your path.
do you see where I am going here??? It’s funny. You are making comments on your job. I make comments on China. Everyone complains about their jobs, their bosses, the location of their place of work, and everyone remarks on the people that they see each day. You know, I find it funny. People are dumb. And if women are going to ignore their children, ignore their husbands to play a game… THIS SHOULD BE SOMETHING PEOPLE SPEAK OF. If people are going to bring call-girls into a public place, this is something that people are going to comment about. I really don’t see that you are mean-spirited towards tourists.
This is your job. You are writing about what you have seen on your job just like everyone else. And in your job, the people you see are mostly tourists.
Now I really just want to complain about the person/people who said you are mean spirited. Have they not read anything you have written??? You make observations on what you see. Not your fault you sometimes get to deal with some really interesting specimens of humanity.
And all this before my first cup of coffee.
I cannot beleive what a bleeding heart species we’ve become.
Wow!!!
Thank you for being such a good friend, Woman! You rock hard!
Nah… just ticked off that people complain for the sake of complaining and not “doing” something rather than complain about it. That’s all!!!
That is why I love your blog. You say what you think… well most of it. Even at work.
Thanks, Woman. You’ve been a great cyber-friend.
There will always be critics, but only one Hook!! Rock on, my Bellman friend. 🙂
Thanks, buddy!
You couldn’t do what you do / write if you weren’t generally fond of people and amused by them – even when they are odd or difficult – it’s so obvious in your work. An honorable man with a sense of humor.
The “critics” need to read more closely – and maybe try working with the public.
Write on, Hook.
Thanks, I intend to!
If you don’t tick anyone off, you really don’t have much worth reading anyway. People like emotion and a good story has that and some sort of scandal. Looks like your job fits fine.
I think so too, Derek.
It’s nice to ruffle the feathers of some, so ruffle away. The rest of us turkey’s love what you do. Some people just can’t handle the truth. The truth is, LIFE as a whole is hilarious entertainment.
You definitely speak the truth, young woman, thank you.
Your critics obviously have never ridden shotgun with me on a Friday night tourist baiting run. I’ve got a trunk full of maps with mis-labeled streets and attractions [Did you know there’s an Underwear of the Rich and Famous Museum on Lundy’s Lane? No? Neither does The Chamber of Commerce. Ha-ha!]
So what do you say, hookster old boy? Want to tag along next weekend?
I’m not that brave, but thanks!
The average tourist wouldn’t make a good story. It’s the crazies we want to hear about anyways!
Exactly!
Don’t let them stop you from being the funny guy you are! What the heck is up with those people being critical to everything? I don’t get it all. What would life be if we wouldn’t complain or talk about other people? Tell me, what would we do?
I’m sure you won’t let it affect you, and after all, you’re on a roll, they aren’t :).
I’m on a slight roll… But I’m slowly gaining speed! I haven’t exactly set the world of internet publishing on fire yet, but I’ll get there!
Hehehe, I prefer Coke to Pepsi too 😀
Good man!
Hook- if you change ANYTHING I will be dismally disappointed. People who say you are mean have never worked customer service for a living. Oh- they may have slung some hash or bartended to get through their last semester of college, but they have never dealt with tourists for a living. (spoken by a broad who worked in tourism in O’ahu for 10 years)
Keep on keeping on Hook!
And you as well, my brave – but brutally cold – friend!
Someone once said “A fire cannot throw a great light without burning something.” Keep it up!
Labels are a great thing! It makes you have a niche, and it separates you from everyone else! Love it! I love your new logo too! How perfect!
Thanks, Lily! I was hoping it would meet with your approval!
Great post Hook! Your book is what it is and thus it is very entertaining!
Sorry I haven’t been around for a while – been working hard etc
ps Excellent that people are talking about your book. Great publicity as you say! Go tiger you tell them!!!
I’m just getting started….
Is Dennis Leary mean? Well yeah, but I think the difference between you and him is that I enjoy what you do. But seriously, mean? No way, just look at the material you are presented with!
That’s exactly how I feel! I’m a product of my environment…
Only towards mean-spirited tourists (are you mean spirited). Serves them right. But I have to say, in defence of the Aussies, that in Australia we generally don’t tip, as waiters and so on get wages. You tip here if the service has been outstanding, or if you feel like it, but you’re definitely not expected to. So when in the US, some aussies may not realise the tip is more or less compulsory, and we don’t know how much to go (unless we’ve read our guide books properly).
I understand.. Reluctantly!
What you do is hard work and helps make other people’s lives easier. Based on what I’ve been reading you deserved the awards, keep at it 🙂 Definitely stay away from that woman with the 5 kids should she ever come back… she skeered me. ROFL!
I hear you…
If you’re not pissing some people off…. yer fucking doing it wrong!
Loving your attitude heh