Summertime Fun With The Hook!

A couple sits in the lobby, side-by-side, but worlds apart.

They are transfixed, no, hypnotized by the light glow of their screens. Their three-year-old son sits at their feet, his gentle pleas for attention completely ignored.

HE is…

• Thirty-something.
• Dressed like a prototypical, white suburbanite.
• Nearly bald.
• Completely clueless and ignorant of the hot, still-fresh spouse sitting right beside him.

SHE is..

• Blonde.
• Dressed in an orange tube top and “short shorts”.
• Ignorant to the needs of her offspring.
• Completely clueless when it comes to the needs of her spouse.

After fifteen minutes of observation, this exchange took place at the Bell Desk:

ANONYMOUS BELLMAN: She hasn’t looked at him (the husband) for ten minutes! Can you believe that?

THE HOOK: That’s nothing! She probably hasn’t blown him for ten years!

Yes, ladies, guys can be as crude as you’ve always suspected… But you laughed, didn’t you?

Back to our tale…

The hypnotized couple continue to sink further into the anti-social quicksand of their phones as time – and their son’s formative years – pass them by. Another ten minutes pass and by that time our paths cross; they hear their valet number being called and they decide to make their way outside. As I roll by her with my cart, the clueless mom decides to initiate some actual human contact.

CLUELESS MOM: We need our car. Do you know where it is?

THE HOOK: No, but I’m sure there’s an app for that!

WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER?

I recently ran into a lady who lost her cool fifteen minutes into her trip; our doorman sent her car to the garage after she said she was checking in – that’s how it works – but she neglected to remove her luggage, as people often do.

Pay attention, folks… It makes no sense to get out of your car, walk all the way to the Front Desk, wait in line and then walk back and unload your car, then walk all the way back and seek out your room. Why backtrack through the summer crowds and risk losing your cool?

But this lady did just that; then she completely lost it on the doorman and then of course she lost it again when she was informed she couldn’t have her own bell cart. Of course, you know who had to help her right? Her anger kept boiling over with derogatory comments about the hotel, its staff and the world in general. All the while, her husband just shook his head and kept out of her way.

But I wasn’t married to her, so I took a different approach.

We arrived at the room, I dropped off the bags and I apologized for her bad luck… I refused to acknowledge any wrongdoing on the hotel’s part, I simply reminded her that things happen.

“You’re right, I guess I was being a bit bitchy. I’m under a lot of pressure at work” was the explanation she offered up.

“That’s okay,” I said, “It must be a lot of responsibility running Hell.” was my counter.

Her husband burst out laughing, she took a moment to ponder the situation – I assume she must have realized just bad her behavior must have appeared for a complete stranger to call her out – and then she smiled. Finally! By the way, she handed me $10, so I know she was pleased with the service, comments and all. You never tip someone who truly pissed you off.

AVAILABLE NOW!!!!

On Amazon, and my e-store, that is! The Kindle version is coming… I promise!