The Circus Comes To The Hook’s Town…

THE SCENE:

My kitchen: Friday, June 15, 9:07 P.M.

The family is gathered in the kitchen – as per usual – each occupied with their own activities:

• Sarah is eating and working on her own literary masterpiece, The Misadventures of Misery.
• VampireLover is preparing evening snacks
• I’m… Well, you know.

But one thing has attracted drawn us together: television coverage of the circus that has overtaken our humble city… And street. Seriously, cars have lined our street and every nook and cranny in-between. Over 100,000 people have descended upon Niagara Falls to watch a man overcome a number of obstacles that would only have occurred in my little home. I’ll get to those in a minute.

For now, here’s the skinny: if all goes as planned Nik Wallenda will make history during a walk scheduled for 10:20 p.m. ET, as he crosses from the American side to the Canadian side of the falls on a 500-metre wire suspended 60 metres above one of God’s most awesome creations.

Next to my wife, that is.

At any rate, here’s a very brief breakdown of a few of the pitfalls Wallenda has already overcome:

• BUREAUCRACY: The Niagara Parks Commission, (the local government Gestapo) fought hard for years to block this event. By the way, the Commission has been mired in one corruption scandal after another for years, but they’ve always blocked “stunting” as they call it. Ironically, they’re benefiting huge in fees and tourism revenue. Go figure, right?
• IDIOCY: The same government goons who stuck to their guns for years, but now they’re singing Wallenda’s praises.
• NATURE: The power of the falls themselves, and believe it or not, peregrine falcons who may still attack Wallenda as he crosses. Seriously.
• FINANCIAL HARDSHIP: As of a few days ago, Wallenda was $500, 000 short of his estimated 1.3 million-dollar budget to cover this entire operation. Of course, its still going ahead, one way or another.
• GREED: Many have made plans to benefit from Wallenda’s achievement, but few have come forward to help fill his pockets.

I’ve barely scratched the surface, but you get the idea, I’m sure. Its 9:39 P.M and I have to sign-off; its been a looong day.

Regardless of what happens, Nik Wallenda has already earned himself a spot in history. know I’ll never forget all the hoopla he brought with him…
Related articles

• Tonight: Niagara Falls Tightrope Walk (newser.com)
• Wallenda to thrill spectators at Falls (wivb.com)
• Will Wallenda do ultimate dare? (buffalonews.com)