Its funny how quickly our lives can change.
Mine almost did… And not in a good way! Here’s the set-up…
I’m standing at a hatchback as a nice, well-mannered older gentleman begins to root through the very large pile of goodies tossed about his trunk. I said he was nice, not neat!
He began to lift a small black suitcase when he noticed something caught underneath…
“Watch it, buddy!” he yelled, but I failed to see the need to hit the panic button, and so I stood my ground. After a second, a plastic bag containing a bottle caught my eye so I reached for it; guests value their alcohol more than anything. Seriously.
“Buddy, watch it!” His warning appeared equally pointless, so I continued my course of action and grasped the plastic bag. Suddenly, there was a loud “snap!” and both the guest and the attending doorman shared the same horrified expression only a male could truly understand. I followed their eyes to a fishing rod protruding from the trunk. Turns out it was bent in two underneath the suitcase – until Fate decided it was time for it to be set free.
Can you guess where it was aimed?
Time stood still.
- I thought of the time I was seven-years-old and I slipped while climbing a fence. It took six stitches to put the skin between my fingers back together.
- The summer I spent with my arm in a sling crossed my mind.
- My failed Spider-Man imitation also flashed before my eyes.
- Then there was the time I… Now that I think about it, my childhood was little reckless. Who raised me, Evil Knievel? (Yes, it’s time to get thee to Wikipedia, children!)
At any rate, when I snapped back to reality I realized what all the fuss was about; I could see half the hook sticking out from the crotch of my pants but that was no bother.
It was the other half that concerned me.
The lack of stinging pain indicated I could sound the “All Clear!” alarm in my brain and so I began to embrace the humor of the situation.
THE HOOK: Sir, do you realize what you’ve done? You’ve hooked The Hook!
He didn’t get it at first, but we both laughed. Fortunately, my voice was as deep as ever….
BEFORE WE PART WAYS YET AGAIN…
June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada
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My second column is now active over at Bullet News Niagara. Read all about it here.