The Hook Gets… Hooked!

Its funny how quickly our lives can change.

Mine almost did… And not in a good way! Here’s the set-up…

I’m standing at a hatchback as a nice, well-mannered older gentleman begins to root through the very large pile of goodies tossed about his trunk. I said he was nice, not neat!

He began to lift a small black suitcase when he noticed something caught underneath…

“Watch it, buddy!” he yelled, but I failed to see the need to hit the panic button, and so I stood my ground. After a second, a plastic bag containing a bottle caught my eye so I reached for it; guests value their alcohol more than anything. Seriously.

“Buddy, watch it!” His warning appeared equally pointless, so I continued my course of action and grasped the plastic bag. Suddenly, there was a loud “snap!” and both the guest and the attending doorman shared the same horrified expression only a male could truly understand. I followed their eyes to a fishing rod protruding from the trunk. Turns out it was bent in two underneath the suitcase – until Fate decided it was time for it to be set free.

Can you guess where it was aimed?

Time stood still.

  • I thought of the time I was seven-years-old and I slipped while climbing a fence. It took six stitches to put the skin between my fingers back together.
  • The summer I spent with my arm in a sling crossed my mind.
  • My failed Spider-Man imitation also flashed before my eyes.
  • Then there was the time I… Now that I think about it, my childhood was little reckless. Who raised me, Evil Knievel? (Yes, it’s time to get thee to Wikipedia, children!)

At any rate, when I snapped back to reality I realized what all the fuss was about; I could see half the hook sticking out from the crotch of my pants but that was no bother.

It was the other half that concerned me.

The lack of stinging pain indicated I could sound the “All Clear!” alarm in my brain and so I began to embrace the humor of the situation.

THE HOOK: Sir, do you realize what you’ve done? You’ve hooked The Hook!

He didn’t get it at first, but we both laughed. Fortunately, my voice was as deep as ever….


Niagara Falls Comic-Con 2012

June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada

For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!


My second column is now active over at Bullet News Niagara. Read all about it here.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Humor, Life, Postaweek2012, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

95 Responses to The Hook Gets… Hooked!

  1. Oh man…truly priceless! Ha!

  2. wherethedaytakesme says:

    Wow! Great catch lol.

  3. Ink Pastries says:

    Funny as hell – I have many “fishing hook” stories myself. And my kids (9 and 13) know who Evil Knievel is – my younger one wants to follow in his footsteps. Uh oh.

  4. So glad the bits are all still neat and tidy…. and without pain..!
    Can’t have an untidy Hook now; can we..!! πŸ˜‰

  5. The Hobbler says:

    You got lucky. Well, I am glad you escaped with your dignity and all else in good shape.

  6. Tracy says:

    I hope there was no permanent damage.

  7. It is all fun and games until someone loses an . . . .eye πŸ˜‰

  8. Jo Bryant says:

    I bet VL is pleased that all the bits are still intact…

  9. hahaha… sorry, I know it’s not funny… but, I can just see your face (if I knew what it looked like) with that shocked/surprise/mid panic before you realise all is good… still laughing… (with 4 boys in my house I know exactly what it’s like)

  10. mizqui says:

    Gosh darnit that was scary! Whew! NO HOSPITAL VISIT means we got ‘off the hook’ on that one. lol! Glad you didn’t lose your bait too. lol!((((-:

  11. Well, that could have had a far different ending. In all fairness, he warned you.

  12. La La says:

    You lucked out!!

  13. πŸ˜† Hilarious Hook, you have such a brilliant sense of humour….loved it

  14. zannyro says:

    OH DEAR, OH MY,I’m afraid I’m going to remember this story every time I see a post from “the hook”….Scarred for life,,me thank goodness, not you!

  15. So glad it was a catch and release incident!

  16. confessionsofyourhusbandsmistress says:

    you have a great sense of humor! So glad the Hook didn’t get permanently hooked.

  17. carmenrdzn says:

    I have not guessed, is a shame because I was lost in translating many words.

    He had hooked the cane?

    Regards and good day

  18. What bait were you using? Loved it!

  19. Woman says:

    My my Mister the Hook…. you almost pulled a Woman!!!!! LOL!!!!!

  20. Fiona says:

    PMSL!!! Glad the Hook himself was not hooked, only his uniform!

  21. TBM says:

    I bet you aren’t the only one who is glad you are intact πŸ™‚

  22. raisingdaisy says:

    HAHAHAHA!!!!!! So there’s still a chance for more mini-Hooks, eh? Glad to hear it! πŸ˜‰

  23. susielindau says:

    Hooked! That is the best ever! I am glad that you didn’t have to “fish” it out of your privates…

  24. Val says:

    Luckily you still have the balls to tell the story! (Can’t believe I’m first with that one!) πŸ™‚

  25. valleygirl96 says:

    Does that make the man with the pole a “hooker”? Just wondering. (BTW you may not recognize me…the artist formerly known as brainvomit. You’ll have to check out my new blog when you finish unhooking yourself.)

  26. My husband hooked our son in his face (it was part of my last post) years ago. I used to say it was the biggest fish he ever did catch…

  27. HAHAHAHA!!! I am still laughing at that one!!! πŸ™‚

  28. Excellent! I’ll be laughing at this one for a while now.

  29. “Do you REALIZE what you’ve DONE?!”

    Haw haw haw… awwww… great post.

  30. jennygoth666 says:

    our hook was on the end of the line lol but his worm was safe aww bad i know il stop now great to be here again loved the blog il stop carping on and say goodnight xxjen

  31. Great save from a very close call, Hook! Glad you are okay!

  32. aFrankAngle says:

    A new meaning to flyfishing.

  33. Ipodman says:

    I think everyone should practise Spidey imitations during their spare time so we won’t be caught offguard!

  34. Caroline says:

    Fewf lucky you, sounds like a close call! Nice little pun on words, too. πŸ˜‰

  35. munchow says:

    The catch of the day, fresh from the freezer. How I would love to see you imitate Spider-Man. That must have been a treat for anyone around.

  36. Kim says:

    I’d love to go to the Comiccon, unfortunately it is too far away :((

  37. mcqty says:

    I have missed your stories !! Playing catch up and also checked out your column – Brilliantly entertaining as usual. You never disappoint !!

  38. Very funny! You were lucky though – my sister once got a fish hook in her nose and had to get it dug out at hospital! The same operation on your balls could be..hmmm. Book out yet?

  39. Omg.. this is hysterical! And what are the chances.. now you never need fear your name again.. it would be impossible a second time.. πŸ˜€

  40. ridafatima says:

    hehehe…. thank GOD something left to laugh at… πŸ˜‰

  41. Cara Olsen says:

    Well hello, The Hook!

    I wanted to thank you for taking some time to visit my blog yesterday. Hope you enjoyed your stay. πŸ˜‰

    This was a suspenseful little story you reeled (Sorry I couldn’t help but join the others using fishing puns). Immediately my mind went to that scene in “There’s Something About Mary” where whatever his name is, is in the bathroom and ends up with his . . . well, I’m sure you remember the movie. Anyhow, SO very glad to see this story has a comical ending and you are 100% in tact!

    P.S. Next time someone says “Watch it, buddy!” I would just drop to the ground and curl into the fetal position. This will alleviate all potential issues. πŸ˜‰

    Have a wonderful day!

    ~ Cara

  42. The Guat says:

    Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude. Living the Hook life can be dangerous…dangerous and funny. Glad you’re all right πŸ™‚

  43. A close call! Same thing has happened to me and my kids about a thousand times (they’d say) whilst fiddling in the boot of the car.. Thank goidness I have girls.. And kids sized fishing rods. THOSE hooks are truly evil!

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